The Marklein House

Monday February 15, 1993

Up at 7:30 feeling good. I go to get my nails done at 10:45. Frank and Gary left about 10 to go to Marklein house to put in a wall. I have a turkey sandwich for lunch. I read all afternoon. I don't feel too well at dine. I don't feel hungry but eat a little anyway.

We go to the square dance class. I watch as usual and visit with friends. We come home at 10 to watch TV until 11:15. A pretty good day.

I remember the Marklein house, pictured above, where Gary and Maria lived until they bought the house in Simi Valley in 1992. One of the bedrooms was opened up by a prior owner to make a den off the living room. I suppose Gary was turning it back into a bedroom to put it up for sale as a 3 bedroom, 2 bath house.

Box Canyon

Sunday February 14, 1993 Valentine's Day

Awake, a good day, at 7:30. Up at 8:00. I wake Frank at 8:30 after my shower. I watch Dr. Schuller until 9. I get ready to go to brunch with Gary and Maria at 10:30. We go to El Torito. It's a great brunch. I eat pretty good. Everyone else eats very good.

After brunch we all go for a drive through Box Canyon and the estates in Chatsworth. We get home about 1 p.m. and walk to next street to Penny's open house. Gary and Maria leave to go hiking.

I read newspapers all day. At 6:00 I begin dinner. I make a meatloaf. I enjoy dinner at 7. I have felt good all day.

What a wonderful day Mom had this day, her last Valentine's Day. I remember hiking in Chatsworth Park as a girl, but had never heard of Box Canyon. From the photos I found on-line it looks like it is just south of Chatsworth and very similar landscape to Chatsworth Park. Even though Southern California is quite congested and metropolitan, it is nice to know there are still some hidden gems.

Oak Desk Chair

Saturday February 13, 1993

I slept well again. Awake at 7:00. I feel good. I have cereal, OJ and 1/2 grapefruit. Gary, boys and Frank leave about 10:30 for Marklein to fix the roof. I bake a cake for dinner. Then I call Maria and arrange to pick her up at 1:30. When I pick her up she wants to go to the Oak Store to buy Gary a chair for his desk for Valentine's Day tomorrow. We find a great chair.

I'm tired after 1-1/2 hours so rest when I get home. Frank returns at 4:00. We start the tri tip steak and baked potatoes. Maria will bring the salad. The boys stay with us while Gary and Maria go to a concert. A pretty good day for me. I even ate dinner.

I don't know what Gary's chair looked like, but the photo above looks just like the oak chair I had at my desk for years. So glad Mom had a good day and could spend some quality time with her grandsons.

Marklein is the rental house that Mom sold to Gary a few years earlier. He lived there until purchasing the house in Simi Valley.

We Make Love

Thursday February 11, 1993

Slept wonderfully last night from 11:10 to 7:15 even though I had slept most of the evening in the chair downstairs. I couldn't stay awake from 8-9:30. I hope I've broken the habit of waking up at 5 a.m.

I make pancakes and sausages for Frank and afterward we make love. We really enjoy.

At 9:30 Frank leaves for the valley to see Robfie and go to Marty's to check out his driveway. Then Robbie and Frank went to lunch with old co-workers.

I am slow and tire easily but am ready at 1 p.m. I eat a chicken sandwich from Carl's Jr. Frank is home at 2:30. We go to the movies at 3:30.

Gary and Maria and boys come over at 7:30 to visit. We offer to have the boys stay Saturday night while Maria and Gary go to a concert in Ventura. I felt pretty good today.

Wow, I wonder what accounted for the rapid change in her mood and energy? From her post yesterday it sounds like she is back on the chemotherapy pump. I suppose it can be attributed to getting a good night's sleep. Frank must have been thrilled to see Mom up early, making him a big breakfast and still having the energy for sex. Very thoughtful of Mom to take advantage of the little bits of time that she has energy and feels good! I wonder what movie they saw. She usually mentions the name, so whatever it was, I guess she was not impressed.

I am so glad that Gary and Maria lived just a few miles away and that they came by to visit. I have no doubt that lifted her spirits. My brother and his wife are so thoughtful. Just two weeks ago they had my 81 year old father come visit their family for Christmas and then drove 5 hours to take him back home.

One More Week On The Pump

Wednesday February 10, 1993

Awake again at 5 a.m. Terrible to lay there for hours. I get up at 7 to get ready for doctor. It has been so nice not carrying the pump.

Dr. Semrad is not there today. I'm very disappointed. Dr. Latino agrees that Dr. Semrad should make the decision with me about the pump. I decide to connect it for 1 more week. I don't have an appetite for lunch but eat a little later. I'm so sleepy I sit in the chair all afternoon sleeping off and on. I don't feel so depressed today.

It's amazing how quickly she recovered when the poison was disconnected and how quickly she suffers from exhaustion and loss of appetite when it is hooked up again. No wonder she's disappointed that her doctor isn't working today. Wondering if Dr. Latino is really his name, or if she just made that up?

Valentine Cards

Tuesday February 9, 1993

Awake at 5. I took a Unisom and Tylenol but no more deep sleep. Frank left for carving class at 8:15 when I got up. I started the laundry and ate a little breakfast. I am feeling anxious, worried and depressed. I can't shake it. I feel almost paralyzed by it. Finally, I take one of Frank's Xanax for anxiety. It helps but I still feel depressed all day. After lunch we go to see the movie Aladdin, hoping that will help. It helps a little.

We stop to buy Valentines, $35 worth for all our family. Is this my last Valentine's Day? will God answer my constant prayer for healing? Maybe I'll feel better after I see Dr. Semrad tomorrow.

I have no appetite for dinner.

I take Xanax when I have insomnia as it helps me to relax, but I don't think it would help with depression at all. I thought buying Valentine cards would lift her spirits, but again, she is wondering if this will be another "last", which it is. I still have that Valentine card from 1993, as well as several other cards Mom sent me while battling cancer those last 2 years. I'm so glad I kept them. The card pictured above is the one she bought for me this day.