Cinnamon Rolls

Tuesday February 16, 1993

Awake from 6. I get up at 8. I start the laundry and lay around. I don't feel any energy at all. I continue to do the wash. By 1 p.m. I'm finally bathed, dressed and made up. Frank comes home from the valley. He's been laying cement at Marty's house. He brings me 1/2 his lunch, a turkey sandwich. He leaves for Newbury Park house to install smoke alarms. I go to the bank.

Rochelle called to see how I'm doing. She calls often.

I couldn't eat dinner but did manage to snack later. Penny Nay comes over at 7 p.m. she has made us some cinnamon rolls and wants us to eat them while they're hot. I'm unable to eat one new but Frank enjoys them.

I don't know who Penny Nay is, but I assume she was a neighbor since the cinnamon rolls were still hot. I do know who Rochelle is however. She is my Dad's sister-in-law, wife of his oldest brother Clyde. Even though my parents had been divorced for many years and had both remarried, Mom made a point of staying in touch with Dad's side of the family. In fact, when we would go down to visit her, she would take my brother and I and all our kids to visit Grandma Alda (Dad's mom) in an assisted living home. Grandma suffered from dementia so she didn't know who we were, but she enjoyed the company. She lived well into he 90s and outlived Mom, just as Grandma Helen (Mom's mom) did.

We Make Love

Thursday February 11, 1993

Slept wonderfully last night from 11:10 to 7:15 even though I had slept most of the evening in the chair downstairs. I couldn't stay awake from 8-9:30. I hope I've broken the habit of waking up at 5 a.m.

I make pancakes and sausages for Frank and afterward we make love. We really enjoy.

At 9:30 Frank leaves for the valley to see Robfie and go to Marty's to check out his driveway. Then Robbie and Frank went to lunch with old co-workers.

I am slow and tire easily but am ready at 1 p.m. I eat a chicken sandwich from Carl's Jr. Frank is home at 2:30. We go to the movies at 3:30.

Gary and Maria and boys come over at 7:30 to visit. We offer to have the boys stay Saturday night while Maria and Gary go to a concert in Ventura. I felt pretty good today.

Wow, I wonder what accounted for the rapid change in her mood and energy? From her post yesterday it sounds like she is back on the chemotherapy pump. I suppose it can be attributed to getting a good night's sleep. Frank must have been thrilled to see Mom up early, making him a big breakfast and still having the energy for sex. Very thoughtful of Mom to take advantage of the little bits of time that she has energy and feels good! I wonder what movie they saw. She usually mentions the name, so whatever it was, I guess she was not impressed.

I am so glad that Gary and Maria lived just a few miles away and that they came by to visit. I have no doubt that lifted her spirits. My brother and his wife are so thoughtful. Just two weeks ago they had my 81 year old father come visit their family for Christmas and then drove 5 hours to take him back home.

CA125

Wednesday February 3, 1993

I slept fitfully taking Tylenol every 3-1/2 hours all night. After my shower I feel sick and terrible with chills. I crawl back into bed for 40 minutes. Frank brings me medicine, toast and orange juice. Finally, I'm ready to go to the doctor about 9:20. I feel a little better but lay down all the way to Hollywood. They check my blood and I get my new medicine. We come right home and I go to bed. When I awake an hour later I feel some better. I come down at 1 p.m. and eat sardines and crackers.

My CA125 blood test was 1260 3 weeks ago. Normal is 30 or less. It measures cancer but not considered too reliable. This is really bad. The worst I had before was 600.

I feel pretty good at 7:00. We pick up Gary and go out for a burrito. We find Marty and Kathy there. Maria has a bad cold. Gary takes food home to her. We had a good time.

I did a little research on the blood test CA125. It actually is used to monitor ovarian cancer patients to see how well their treatment is working. But is is not a good screening test to detect ovarian cancer. MedicineNet.com says, "Some women with ovarian cancer (up to 20%) never have elevated CA 125 levels, while most women who do have elevated CA 125 levels do not have cancer. In fact, because CA 125 can be elevated in so many non-cancerous conditions, only about 3% of women with elevated CA 125 levels have ovarian cancer." Even today 20 years later there is no screening test for ovarian cancer.

Ovariancanada.org lists the most common warning symptoms of ovarian cancer:

Swelling or bloating of the abdomen
Pelvic discomfort or heaviness
Back or abdominal pain
Fatigue
Gas, nausea, indigestion
Change in bowel habits
Emptying your bladder frequently
Menstrual irregularities
Weight loss or weight gain
Mass or "lump" in your pelvis that you can feel
Inability to eat normally
Pain with intercourse
Vaginal bleeding

New Year's Eve

Thursday December 31, 1992
New Year's Eve

I awake feeling brand new. My aches and pains are all gone. God has answered my prayer again. Praise The Lord!

Donna and I are very busy in the kitchen all day preparing food. Chris and Ric and all the boys arrive about 2 p.m. We begin to serve veggies, chips, dips, candies, etc. Gary and Maria arrive at 6 p.m. and we all sit down to a big ham dinner. It's great! About 8:30 Mark and Ivana and their girls arrive. They stay a couple of hours. We are all playing pool. Everyone is having a good time.

I begin to have pain in my chest about 6 p.m. and take pain pills the rest of the night. Marty and Kathy arrive about 10:30. When midnight comes we all toast, hug and kiss. A great day and night.

So thankful that Mom is feeling better for the New Year's Eve celebration! Mom and Frank had lots of parties and frequently entertained in their big house on Ambergrove Court. They had a huge dining room with a table that seated 12 easily, a large living room with vaulted ceiling, a big kitchen, and an extra large family room which included a pool table. When the house was being built in 1982 Mom and Frank asked the builder to remove the fourth bedroom that would have been built downstairs, opting instead to have an extra large family room for entertaining. Off of the family room was a sliding glass door that opened to the patio and off the dining nook were french doors that opened to another patio. The lot was huge, over 13,000 square feet, and included a large side yard where they stored their RV and boat. Summer parties were the best because there was plenty of room for a crowd in the beautifully landscaped backyard. The reception for her funeral was held there. This would be Mom's last New Year's Eve. Sad.

I Love The New Boat Shade

Thursday July 16, 1992

Slept in, resting til 7:30 a.m. Not my best morning this week. I have no energy and still have a pain in my chest for some unknown reason, right side under the breast. Maybe I pulled a muscle trying to get back into the boat. The ladder we bought just won't work on our boat. I had a terrible time getting back into the boat out in the deep water.

I love the boat shade. I have no problem riding in the boat during the heat of the day.

Maria and I help Marty and Kathy haul their stuff back to the marina. I call Chris and Justin talks to her about his new baby brother. Chris is feeling some better from her C-section.

Later, we all take a ride to Mocassin Point Marina, Donna, Bob, Heather, Dan, Gary, Maria and kids.

I can't imagine how Mom went 30 years without a shade for their boat. When Ric and I go boating on a hot day, the shade goes up first thing. It keeps us cooler and prevents sunburn. The bimini top probably looked a bit like the one pictured above. Since I wasn't on this trip, I didn't see it myself. Mom always got into the boat by stepping onto the ledge on the outboard motor just above the propeller, grabbing onto the back of the boat, and pulling herself up. She was the only one who did this and every time I would cringe. One slip and her foot would be sliced by the propeller. Everyone else got in by hoisting themselves over the side near the back of the boat, where it was just over a foot from the water. This required good upper body strength, though, something I no longer have, and neither did Mom. The boat that Ric and I use in the summer has a built-in ladder on the back, which makes it much easier to get into the boat, even from land.

Off To Don Pedro

Sunday July 12, 1992

Up t 6:30 a.m. to get packed and ready for Don Pedro. We leave at 9:20 a.m., pick up Gary and Maria in their van at Marklein house. We stop for lunch along the way. We arrive at Don Pedro at 4:10 p.m. Marty and Kathy are here already waiting for us.

Justin has been really good in the truck driving all day. He read alot.

We manage to get all the camping gear over to our camp spot in 2 loads. Gary does the boat driving. frank, Junior and I set up camp though I'm not really much help. Luckily, it's pretty cool. Not too hot.

By 8 p.m. we're eating dinner of fried chicken, potato salad and beans.

Wow, after I just said in my previous post that we always went to Lake Don Pedro on holiday weekends, here they are leaving on a Sunday morning and spending a full week. When we would camp on a holiday weekend, we would leave home at 9:00 at night, drive in the cool of the evening about 6 hours to the lake, sleep for a few hours on the ground at the launch ramp parking lot, and then be up with the sun to launch the boat and begin making trips to our campsite on the shore with all our camping gear. This had to be done early in the day before the temperatures reached the upper 90s. This trip they arrive at 4 p.m. They are lucky it's not too hot. Our campspot was always right about where the letter N is in the word California on the map pictured above. This is about 8 miles from the Don Pedro Marina launch ramp.

I am home about to give birth to Derek.

The Crystal Cathedral

Friday December 27, 1991

Up early to get Chris and Ric fed and off for home at 10 a.m. Then we head for Kaiser where I have a CT scan. From there we go to Marty and Kathy's. We all leave at 4:30 for The Crystal Cathedral to see "The Glory of Christmas". It's a great show! Afterward, we all go to dinner at Baker Square. We go to Marty and Kathy's for dessert and to watch a video. It's a really nice afternon and evening.

Located in Garden Grove, California, the Crystal Cathedral is still in operation and has a congregation of over 10,000 members and the internationally televised "Hour of Power." Although not as large as the Crystal Cathedral, I recently found out that the church I attended as a teenager in the late 1960s (First Baptist Church of Van Nuys) dissolved in 1989. It seated almost 2000 at each service.

We Are Angels

Monday December 9, 1991

Had my nails done in the a.m. We decorated our Christmas tree the rest of the day. It's a big job but the house and tree look wonderful when it is done.

In the evening we go square dancing where we are angels to help Marty & Kathy and Robbie & Dolores learn. We have a good time and go to Hudson's Grill afterwards.

Angels are the wonderful people who introduce square dancing to others, bring others to square dance classes, and help the caller or teacher by filling the squares so that all class members may dance. Mom and Frank enjoyed sharing their passion with their friends. It was great exercise and certainly a great way to make many friends.

Decorating for Christmas

Saturday December 7, 1991

Lazy day. Up at 8:45 a.m. Brought in our Christmas tree. Frank put the lights on it. I began to decorate the house as I dusted.

Marty and Kathy want us to go to dinner, but we have eaten out too much lately. They come here to dress and we all go to the Fun Dance.

After the dance we go to someone's house for snacks and drink.

After the last few days of posts I was thinking the same thing: Mom and Frank go out to dinner almost every night, and they often go out to breakfast too. Besides the extra calories, they are spending lots of money on extravagant meals.

While Mom and Frank's Christmas tree never looked quite like the one pictured above, she always did love Christmas even when I was a little girl. We had an old trunk that was kept in the rafters of the garage. Every year we would get down the old trunk about the first week of December and gingerly open the lid so as not to break it. Inside were ornaments, tinsel, lights, and strands of garland. In the 50s we had a natural tree, but in the 60s I remember the fake white-flocked Christmas tree with red ornaments that we put together and set in the corner next to the decorative block wall between our living room and kitchen. A spotlight shone on the tree with a turning disc that changed the tree from green to yellow to blue to red. It was oh so modernistic at the time. We also had a decorative indoor manzanita tree for a few years that we decorated with ornaments. Mom loved holidays, and especially Christmas!

Dinner with Marty & Kathy Murphy

Thursday October 24, 1991

Marty & Kathy Murphy have invited us to dinner tonight. We are out and about only to go to lunch. I felt ill at lunch and couldn't eat it. I spent the rest of the afternoon lying down. I guess I overdid it this morning moving all my summer clothes to the other room closet and moving all my winter clothes in. Then I went outside to water all my patio plants.

By 4:30 I'm feeling well enough to go to dinner. Kathy has prepared a lovely dinner and we really enjoy it. My appetite has really returned. We stay to watch the world series game and head home about 9:00 feeling good.

Marthy Murphy worked with mom before she retired and they both continued to be friends for many years. In fact Kathy was at mom's bedside at Kaiser Hospital in Woodland Hills almost everyday for the last 2 weeks of her life. That is a faithful friend. I heard that they moved to Arizona a few years after mom passed away, but I have been unable to find them. I love Facebook for finding old friends, but a friend with a common name like Murphy is hard to find, even if they are on Facebook, which of course many are not.

Exchanging her closet full of summer clothes for her closet full of winter clothes was indeed a big undertaking. Mom had a huge walk-in closet and it was full. One of the guest bedrooms had a closet holding all her off-season clothes, plus a rack devoted just to her square dancing outfits. Mom always loved to shop, and she usually dragged me along with her when I was a little girl. Perhaps that is why I hate to shop!

Grandma's Home Away From Home

Monday September 16, 1991

Usual laundry and house cleaning day. I called Michele and Dieder inviting them and their parents to dinner this week. It's a maybe. They are doing a lot of traveling and sightseeing.

Frank poured cement at Gledhill and did yard work at Lemona and got home in time to relax and clean up for square dancing. We really enjoyed square dancing with Marty and Cathy and Robbie and Dolores. It was tiring for us but at least my little toe left foot didn't bother me. I whacked it on a brick while barefoot this morning. It may be broken. No big deal. After dancing we all went to Hudson's Grill. Robbie and Dolores enjoyed comparing notes with the Turners about their trips to Alaska.

Spoke to mother tonight. She's 83 and doing fine or so she says. She's coming up this weekend for the family reunion potluck in her truck and camper.

Frank must be in great shape and absolutely tireless. He comes after a full day of manual labor at the rental houses and almost every night either entertains or is off square dancing.

Grandma Helen outlived mom. She was 89 when she passed away of a stroke. The last couple of years she lived in an assisted living home and did not like it at all. Up until then she lived on her own in Desert Hot Springs in a mobile home park. She and her husband Al bought an Alaska camper similar to the one shown above way back in the 1950s. It was ancient and tiny but functional. She and Al travelled all over the United States and Canada in their camper and they belonged to the Alaska Camper Club. The Alaska campers were known for their pop-up pop-down roof that made them compact for driving. After Grandpa Al passed away in his sleep in 1976 Grandma continued to drive the camper and use it as her home away from home when traveling. She was a strong and independent woman, much like her daughter!

So Tired Lately

Monday September 9, 1991

Gene's actual birthday today!

Frank gets up early by the alarm and heads for Lemona. I sleep in til 8:30. Don't know why I'm so tired lately. It's starting to bug me. I seem to need 10-11 hours of sleep of late. Can't stay awake much past 9 p.m. Tonight is the first class for square dancing where we'll be "Angels". We're looking forward to it. Marty and Cathy and Robbie and Dolores will be there. It should be great fun!

I stay home today to wash and clean. It's nice not going to the valley.

My hair is so thin I can hardly manage it today. Seems like it's getting worse. Some thinning is chemo. Breakage and short hairs are probably perms and bleaching. No perms for awhile. Hopefully it will get better now that chemo is finished.

I can see why mom would be tired keeping up with her fast past while undergoing chemotherapy. I'm glad to see she's finally getting some sleep. If she is managing to go square dancing she can't be all that weak!

I have the same hair as Mom, thin, baby fine, and straight as a stick! Mom gave me perms from the time I was a toddler to give me some body and curls, and I continued to get perms well into my 40s, but found I could never perm and color, as there was just too much breakage. In fact, I remember the last time mom gave me a perm my hair broke off where the bands came in contact with my hair and it took months for the damaged broken hair to grow out. Now I keep it short, unpermed and highlighted with blonde and copper highlights. I remember Mom spending 30 minutes on her hair every morning while we visited in the huge master bathroom of her Simi Valley home. She would use a curling iron all over her head, then backcomb to give it some lift and finally spray with loads of hairspray that made us both cough. Sometimes I wonder if all those hydrocarbons she breathed every day for years are what gave her cancer. Even when we were camping, she put on makeup and fixed her hair every day.

Feeling Good

Friday August 30, 1991

Feeling better these days. My knees hurt less and my back only hurts with certain movements. My arthritic thumbs hurt less.

I am very contented in general but that seems to be my nature, but even more so in my retirement.

I hope I don't appear smug about my cancer doing so well. It's just that I somehow knew or felt from the onset that it would turn out well. I swear God told me so back in April when I was diagnosed.

After lunch I go to Van Nuys to visit Aunt Elsie and Uncle Joe. They are old and frail and so happy to see me.

Frank cleans up at Lemona house after his day's work and we go out to dinner with Marty and Cathy Murphy. Echo (their daughter)is getting married in Vegas next weekend and they are very unhappy about that.

Mom's grandmother on her mother's side (Amanda Johnson) was one of the first residents of Van Nuys. She gave birth to the first set of twins born there in 1912. She had 14 children all together. The house in Van Nuys where she raised her family was now occupied by her daughter Elsie, who was 81 years old in 1991.

We'll Start the Diet Tomorrow!

Sunday July 21, 1991

We leave early stopping to visit Marty and Kathy Murphy and shopping before going to Henry and Jan Alent's house for dinner. We meet his daughter. She's very nice and stays for an hour or so. Jan serves us a wonderful turkey dinner and dessert. Our diet is shot but last night we ruined it with chili fries and Friday night we had Chinese dinner with Judy and Paul.

We are quite tired today. We stayed up late last night and couldn't sleep in so had about 6-1/2 hours sleep.

We're in bed at 9:30 and right to sleep.

Marty Murphy was mom's boss when she worked as a purchasing agent at a medical supply company. Never heard of Henry and Jan Alent. Perhaps they belong to their square dancing club. They made many new friends there.

The Dodgers Win

Sunday July 7, 1991

We're up early to meet Gary and Maria at her mom's house at 11:30 where we leave from for the Dodgers baseball game. Gary treats us all. We pig out on pizza. Justin buys shirts and cards. Luckily the Dodgers win.

It's very hot sitting in the sun. I wear a big straw hat and keep a napkin over my bare legs. We are tired from vacation and ready to stay home. It's good to get home.

But first we must stop at Lemona and Gledhill (their rental houses) to check with tenants planning to move soon. So we visit with Joan and Hal (neighbors on Lemona Street) and Marty and Cathy and girls. Everyone is pleased to see Justin. We eat dinner at Millie's.

Oh my goodness, does mom ever slow down? They just got home from a week in the blistering heat, and here they are off again to a baseball game. Perhaps it's because her beloved grandson Justin (my son) was down for his annual visit and she wanted to keep him entertained. My sister-in-law Maria grew up in a small 2-bedroom 1 bath house in Los Angeles very close to Dodger Stadium with her parents and 8 brothers and sisters. Although Maria's mom passed away from cancer a year after mine, her dad still lives in the same house.

The rental house on Lemona is the house I grew up in. My parents bought that house for $12,000 in 1954 and I spent my entire life there until I moved to Santa Rosa in Northern California in 1974. When she and Frank married in 1982 they bought a house in Simi Valley and turned the Lemona house as well as another house she lived in after I moved out, which was the one on Gledhill, both of which were in the San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles County, into rental houses. When she passed away my brother Gary and I sold the rental houses. It was sad parting with not only my mom but the house that held so many great memories of my childhood.

Marty and Cathy Murphy are the friends who did not show up at Lake Don Pedro as expected. She writes about it on her entry for July 4. Interesting that she does not say here why they failed to show up?

Today Would Be our 40th Wedding Anniversary

Sunday June 9, 1991

If I'd stayed married to Bob Lucky, today would be our 40th anniversary. Odd huh?

We decide we need a walk so the four of us walk to Eggs & Things for breakfast. Then we window shop and head for Mervyns where we buy several things to have to lug home. It's a great walk. We all enjoy.

At home again, we relax; they pack. About 2:00 we go to the chili cook off at the church. We run into Gary and Jerilyn, friends of Donna and Bob.

We drop them at the Fly Away bus in Van Nuys at 4:30 after a stop at Trader Joe's.

We stop at Marty and Kathy's and have a wonderful visit. Later at home we snack. Breakfast really stayed with us.

Mom and Dad married June 9, 1951. Mom was 17 years old and still in high school. Her best friend Donna was already married. It was more common in the 50s to marry your childhood sweetheart, often before graduating high school. Dad owned a printing business, mom was a stay-at-home housewife until I was 12, when she got a job with the Unemployment Department for the State of California. Dad worked hard and provided a good home for us. As a 50s Dad I think he thought of himself as the provider and he never could get used to the idea of his wife getting a job outside the home. Mom was very outspoken and could be domineering. Their life together was filled with friendships, parties, and Sunday outings. I have very fond memories of my childhood. When Dad announced he was leaving her she was caught completely by surprise. I was 19. My brother Gary was 16. We were celebrating his birthday at a Mexican Restaurant when our parents broke the news to us. They were getting a divorce.