We Are Able to Make Carol's Dinner Party

Sunday November 15, 1992

Very slow to rise and get ready. Not as tired as yesterday. Finally I'm ready at 1:30 to leave for Carol's dinner party in North Hollywood. I asked Frank to cut her a bunch of roses. They are beautiful and a big hit. Carol's brother Noble and wife Kay are there and Carol's friend Harry. We have a lovely visit. Carol has made a great beef roast dinner. I have a good appetite today.

I'm exhausted when we leave at 6:30 and lay down all the way home. I'm so glad I was able to go.

I recall Mom's good friend Carol dated her "friend" Harry for many many years, but she didn't find her true love until many years after Mom passed away, when she and Frank married. This photo of them together was taken a few years ago. Frank has alot less hair now than he did 20 years ago, but he's still in good health, strong and a great dancer.

Roses in November? How nice! That's something we don't get here in Northern California. I do miss the sunny-year-round weather I grew up with in Southern California, but I most definitely do NOT miss the crowds, traffic and congestion.

Carol Can't Make It To Dinner

Saturday September 26, 1992

Lovely day getting ready for company tonight. Carol and Harry will come to dinner and then go square dancing with us. Carol calls to say she is ill and they probably won't make it tonight.

About 3:00 we go to Gary and Maria's party. There are about 30 adults and kids all in swimsuits. We stay about an hour. At 5:30 we eat the spaghetti Frank has made. Company is not coming.

I'm having some pains in my lower abdomen today, the first since Monday. At 7:15 we go square dancing. It's fast and hot but fun. Afterward we go to Bill and Sue's for a party. We get to sleep about 12:30 a.m.

The pace of Mom's social life sometimes wears me out just hearing about it. This is one of those days. Her friend since kindergarten Carol Peveler, now Mrs. Frank Reina, pictured above in a recent photo with Frank, can't make it to dinner, but they still make it to Gary and Maria's party, square dancing, and another party where they don't get home until after midnight. Burning the midnight oil can't do much to boost Mom's immunity, but she certainly is enjoying her last months. I know that soon her pain will increase, her energy will lag, and her health will deteriorate, and it will become harder and harder to read her journal.

Sacramento Jazz Jubilee

Friday May 22, 1992

We are up at 7 a.m. We have a continental breakfast in our hotel lobby. Carol arrives with a friend, Ed, about 9:30. We all take the shuttle to Old Sacramento for the 11:30 parade of jazz bands. After the parade we have lunch in a quaint Italian restaurant.

We all go to a couple of tent jazz shows but it is so hot, 95 degrees today. Finally, we give up and head to Holiday Inn for a nice air conditioned jazz show. By 5 p.m. we're back at our hotel to rest awhile. At 6 p.m. we go to Tony Roma's for ribs and onion rings. Wonderful! In the cool of the evening, about 80 degrees, we go to Cal Expo for a few tent shows. We're home at 11 p.m. to see Johnny Carson's last show, forever. Sad.

Mom's good friend Carol was the one who introduced Mom and Frank to jazz festivals and square dancing. She was single for many years, but ended up married to Frank several years after Mom passed away.

Old Sacramento is a restored historical gold rush community on the Sacramento River. It is very charming and a great place to hold a parade. Parking is limited though, so it's a good thing there was a shuttle bus from their hotel. The Jazz Jubilee is held every Memorial Day weekend, and already the weather is very hot there. Sacramento and the rest of the central valley of California doesn't get the cooling marine influence that we get in Sonoma County, so even at night it only cools down to 80 degrees, and during the day it is often over 100. Cal Expo is also the site of the California State Fair over Labor Day weekend in September. We only attended once, and it was incredibly hot and miserable. Just like Mom and Frank, I could only take the crowds and the heat for a few hours.

Johnny Carson was a late-night talk show host and comedian on "The Tonight Show" from 1962-1992. He passed away at the age of 79 in 2005.

When I Die I Don't Want Frank to be Alone

Friday May 8, 1992

Still not feeling great but much improved. I'm tired, probably from my busy day yesterday. I go to the market, bank and Target and drag home. Frank comes home now and again for tools, etc. I make a great salad and we leave for Lane & Phil's at 7 p.m. for dinne with old friends from Interdyne where we worked 15 years ago. Dick & Carol and Del are there. We have some good talk and a great dinner. We are home at 12:00 midnight.

I'm thinking tonight in bed that when I die I don't want Frank to be alone. I think our friend Rosie would make a good mate and a good replacement for me. She is sweet and would fit right in. She's a real family person and close to her son and grandchildren in Palmdale. We may talk about this later.

Proverbs 12:18 says "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." The words we speak to others can encourage them or discourage them. Sometimes, they can bring life or bring death. When Mom had her doctor visit with her surgeon on April 30, he was not encouraging and she felt like he was writing her off as a lost cause. I see a definitely shift in her attitude, which was always positive before this. I have just begun Book 4 of her journal, a bit more than halfway through her journey and I see the shift like a blinking sign. That doctor spoke death to her, and she is giving up. She is talking about dying, and about finding a new wife for Frank. She knew that Frank would want to find a mate as quickly as possible. He would not like to be alone. My brother Gary and I were angry that he started dating a woman from their square dancing club a few months after Mom passed away, and they were married about a year later. Millie had beeen single for a very long time though and was used to having alot of freedom to come and go as she pleased without having to check in with anyone. This drove Frank crazy and after 7 years they divorced. Then Frank started dating Mom's friend Carol, one of her most enduring friendships, having met in kindergarten. Mom and Frank were introduced to jazz festivals by Carol and her boyfriend, and she shared their passion for square dancing as well. Rosie was not to be Frank's wife, but Mom's friend Carol, pictured above with Frank in 2011, would become his wife and companion in his old age. I think Mom would have been pleased with his selection.

Again, I am impressed with Mom's attitude "Once a friend, always a friend.". Her closest friends were ones she met in elementary school, like Donna and Carol. After she left her job at Interdyne, she kept in touch with her co-workers even 15 years later. Four years after I have retired from PG&E after 33 years working there, I only keep in touch with one person, my boss Pat. We have a tradition to take each other out every year for our birthdays, his in January, mine in April. He also invites me to the company Christmas breakfast every year. He was the best boss I ever had, and I am really glad we keep in touch. Otherwise, I don't keep in touch with anyone from PG&E, but have found a new circle of friends from my church.

I've Known Carol Peveler Since Second Grade

Sunday March 1, 1992

A lazy morning with a nice egg and tortilla breakfast. I make a few phone calls and Cathy Thomas calls to say Chris has gone home this morning from the hospital. I call her about noon but she has been napping since she got home.

Shirley and Jim pick us up at 3:30 to go square dancing in Northridge. It should be a big dance with 5 callers. My old friend Carol Peveler will be there. I saw her last in September. She wants to see how I'm doing and dance with us finally. Because of her we are square dancers. I've know her since second grade.

We have a great time dancing and then the 5 of us go out to dinner at the Olive Garden, a place I've been dying to eat.

Later at home I have my old chest tightening experience. It lasts 2 or 3 minutes. I am doing nothing when it happens.

So sweet of Aunt Cathy to call me to see how I'm doing and then report back to Mom. Since Mom passed away Aunt Cathy has taken over as surrogate Mom to me. She doesn't check in with me weekly like Mom did, but almost monthly. No wonder I was napping when Mom called. I can never sleep in the hospital. They always come in every 2 hours during the night to take blood pressure readings, temperature, etc. I am always exhausted which is why I am anxious to get home.

Carol Peveler Ziegler was Mom's oldest friend. They had known each other even longer than her best friend Donna. Carol was the one who got Mom and Frank hooked on jazz. They attended jazz festivals together in Monterey, Sacramento, and Los Angeles. Carol also got them involved in square dancing which became their passion as well as their social life. It seems like Mom has an entry that includes square dancing almost every day, and not just in Simi Valley, but other towns as well. After Mom passed away Frank married a single lady from their square dancing club, Millie. They were married for 7 years but the marriage ended in divorce. A few years later Frank hooked up with Mom's friend Carol and they were soon married and moved to a retirement community in Lincoln, California. They drove to Sonoma County for my son Justin's wedding this year, which was the first time I had seen them in years. The photo above was taken this year of the two of them and came with their Christmas card. They are still square dancing every day well into their 70s.