Chills

Friday February 19, 1993

We sleep in and make love, getting up about 9 a.m. I eat breakfast and go back to bed to let it digest. I feel worse and worse and finally get up at 12:00. I eat a turkey sandwich at 1:30. It sits well. I read and watch TV all afternoon.

It's dinner time and I feel yucky as usual. About 9 I'm struck with the chills. I hurry into bed. Frank covers me with lots of blankets and turns the electric blanket on 6. I shake for 40 minutes or so. Later Frank brings me a yogurt and later a scrambled egg and toast. I'm on pain pills for my neck and shoulder.

It's been several months since I have posted to my blog, partly because we were out-of-state this summer, but also because these last few months of her life are harder and harder to read in her journal. I'm glad she and Frank got to make love this day, but can't help wondering if this will be the last time.

Fender Bender

Monday December 7, 1992

Bad morning. Feeling nausea and light-headed. Frank makes me some toast. I lay on the couch an hour. I must get ready to have my nails done at 10:45. Finally, I sponge bathe, fix my hair and put on some makeup. I'm 15 minutes late for my appointment. I leave there about 12:30 feeling much better. I eat some soup for lunch and we go to finish our Christmas shopping. Home by 3. I read and nap from 3:30-4.

By 5:00 I have the shakes again. My fingers all turn white and frozen. Finally, warm water and my warm coat help. I don't feel well. An apple is my dinner.

Frank goes to the market and someone pulls out in front of him. He crashes into him, but no one is hurt. The man is sorry. The cars are drivable. Frank goes square dancing.

Mom seems to be constantly pushing herself no matter how rotten she feels. Christmas shopping is exhausting even in the best of circumstances, but for someone who has chemotherapy drugs coursing through her body, it might be a good idea to just rest. The fact that she didn't even have the energy to shower makes me wonder why in the world she is having her nails done today and then out shopping. In a way it's good news that she is feeling nausea since that means the chemo drugs are working. I'm wondering if Dr. Semrad gave her some medication for the nausea.