The Odd Couple

Monday July 15, 1991

We're on our way home about 9 a.m. after breakfast out. I'm feeling great. It's a long drive home but we are there at 5:30 p.m. It's good to be home.

Chris and Ric seemed less at odds this time. Maybe Chris is just accepting more. She must accept him the way he is if she plans to marry Ric. He's not a neat person. Things seem to be falling apart and he isn't bothered. Chris has always been so neat and clean. Much needs fixing and finishing. He has too much stuff. But he is a kind and accomodating person. We are getting used to him and he to us.

They want to have a baby and I am very concerned about Chris having a child at her age. She is 38 now. I've always worried about her health alot.

Wow, I could write a book after reading this journal entry! Where to start? To say Ric is not a neat person is a huge understatement, and I'm trying to be as kind as I can here, but Ric reminds me of Walter Matthau in the photo above and I am like Jack Lemmon in The Odd Couple. He spends hours every day in front of the TV and around his recliner are dirty dishes, dirty clothes, newspapers, old mail, and all kinds of miscellaneous junk. I do pick up the dishes, clothes and newspapers everyday but the miscellaneous junk accumulates. Two area of our home are off-limits to me and therefore look like a hurricane went through recently. Those areas are Ric's bedroom upstairs which he straightens up once a year, and his garage, which will never be straightened up. You can barely walk through the garage, as it is piled floor to ceiling and wall-to-wall with his accumulation of stuff. A car will never ever see the inside of our garage. Mom, if you think he had alot of stuff one year into the relationship, you should see it now 21 years into it! I would say he suffers from hoarders disease, as he loves to accumulate stuff (craigslist, EBay, and garage sale acquisitions) but never lets go of anything. With the garage full, he had to overflow into our backyard, which currently has 6 jet skis and 5 ATVs, none of which actually run, and are in various stages of disintegration and disrepair. But they were all great deals! I think hoarding must be kind of like a gambling addiction, because very little of the stuff is actually necessary, it's all about getting a "deal". Besides the garage and the backyard accumulations, we pay rent for 3 storage units in Healdsburg, all of which are stuffed to overflowing as well. Bins and bins of baby toys he bought for our boys 18 years ago are stored there because he can't let go of them. So Mom, as you can probably tell by my ranting, I am bothered by it. I like things neat, orderly and simple, and living in chaos is frustrating and exhausting, as well as expensive. Thank goodness Ric rarely buys anything new, but mostly used, so for that I am thankful.

As for the fixing and finishing, that has not changed too much, although I have to say he is better about fixing things when they break, but he's still quite a procrastinator about finishing what he starts. This creates tension not only in our home, but with our tenants.

I never knew that mom was so concerned about my health. Yes, we did have a baby (Derek) when I was 39, and that pregnancy was absolutely one of the worse experiences of my life. I was so nauseous 24/7 I could not get out of bed for 9 months and had to take off work. Just opening the refrigerator door made me puke. Being pregnant with Justin at the age of 27 was a piece of cake in comparison. I had a little nausea in the mornings for the first trimester and after that I felt great. By the time I was pregnant with Ryan I was 41 and he was born a few weeks after my 42nd birthday. That pregnancy was easier because I took B6 injections every morning which helped with the nausea.