Nose Blowing After Each Tip

Saturday February 1, 1992

Relaxing day, trying to get well enough to go to the square dance tonight. We do go dancing. It was great to be back. Still coughing but managed to get by with nose blowing after each tip.

According to Wikipedia a square dance tip is "a group of dances usually separated from the next tip by a pause during which the dancers regroup into new squares".

Roz & Richard

Friday January 31, 1992

Up early and rush to get the yard and house clean. Roz and Richard are coming for lunch. Roz and I worked together for 11 years at Guardian (Medical Equipment). She's 62. Her husband of 5 years is 56. They wanted to see all our vacation pictures. We spent most of the day doing that. We all went out to dinner about 8 p.m. They stayed until midnight.

It's sort of sad. They have no friends and no contact at all with his grown children or his many brothers and sisters. I think it's because Roz likes it that way. They spend alot on their home but never take vacations though they can well afford it. Reason may be Roz has been 70-80 pounds overweight for years. Now she's only 20 pounds overweight and she feels more like going places and doing things. We enjoy visiting with them.

I never met Roz and Richard and have no photos of them. It sounds like Mom is Roz' only friend. That is so special that Mom made such a point of keeping in contact after she retired. I cannot imagine why 70-80 extra pounds would keep Roz from seeing family and friends as well as taking any vacations. While I might not feel comfortable wearing a bikini on the beach, my extra pounds have never stopped me from taking a vacation. How sad!

Frank's Dad Has Bone Cancer

Thursday January 30, 1992

Up early and hurry to get ready to leave at 10:30 for Frank's folks house. I'm coughing much less but Frank is coughing alot. We are getting better but it is sure taking a long time.

At 12:00 the living trust attorney arrives and Frank helps him explain it to his folks. I read a magazine outside. Good, that's done.

Mom tells me the bone scan shows Dad has bone cancer. That accounts for alot of his pain. They don't plan to tell him. He won't go for more treatment. I agree that's best but he should have some good pain pills.

Dad tells me he wishes he could go back in time and relive his life and don't I? I say I love my life and always have. I wouldn't change a thing.

Mom tells Frank the only time she was ever happy was when the children were small. How sad. She's hoping to be happy again someday. I feel very sorry for both of them, and I feel so fortunate to be so happy. Life is wonderful!

Frank's dad John, pictured above at his granddaughter's wedding a few years before, was well into his 80s. I guess that's why he didn't see any reason to get cancer treatments, but withholding the fact that he had cancer seems wrong to me. Perhaps he already knew even though it was unspoken, and that is the reason they are having their living trust prepared. John outlived Mom, but only by a few months. That is so sad that he had so many regrets about his life, and that Frank's mother Florence was only happy when her children were small. Frank only had one sister and she died young. Perhaps Florence never recovered from the loss. She was the typical Italian mother who loved to cook for her family. Perhaps she always wanted a big family. Mom did her best to include John and Florence in all the family get-togethers, and from what I could see, they always enjoyed themselves.

It's Time For a Life Change

Wednesday January 29, 1992

We slept 10-1/2 hours. That should help our colds. We decide to go to the 1:30 movie Fried Green Tomatoes. Gary and Maria come at 7 p.m. We talk about the house the realtor will take them to see at 7:30. When they all return about 8:15 we sit down and the realtor runs some figures for Gary. The house is just out of his reach financially. We are all disappointed. The house is such a good buy and so perfect for them. I guess my talk with Gary on the phone last night did some good. I told him I thought it was time for a life change. I know he's comfortable where he is but it's time to buy a bigger house in a safer area and allow Maria to stay home and have his baby (after they're married). The schools here have no gangs. Maria's boys are 12 and 13 now. Well there will be another house another day. No hurry.

Maybe the reason Gary was dragging his feet was because Mom was pulling so hard! She could be domineering and opinionated, but she was also quite wise and level-headed. Apparently, her persuasive abilities are starting to turn Gary around. It sounds like she has his life all planned out. With Maria's boys early in their teenage years, it would be a good move for them to be in a nice safe neighborhood with no gangs.

Interesting that her last statement is "no hurry". I think she probably did feel an urgency. Her son would be 36 years old this year, never married, and no biological children. Mom was battling a life-threatening disease and didn't know how many years she would have left. I think she wanted to see her son "settled" before she passed away.

Skiing at Mountain High

Tuesday January 28, 1992

Frank is up and gone by 6 a.m. to go skiing at Mountain High with Phillip. Good, he's getting away for a day. Has been confined too long. I'm sure they will have a good time.

I meet the appraiser at Gledhill in Sepulveda at 11:30 a.m. Then I have lunch at Bakers Square. I bring half my lunch home for dinner.

I see Gary's realtor, Kim King, and she gives me the only 5 houses in the San Fernando Valley with comparable features and price, to the house in Simi. I drive by the 2 in Sepulveda. They are small and terrible looking. I come home and go with the realtor to see inside the Emerald house. It's perfect for Gary. Needs paint and carpet.

Whoa! Frank had a quick overnight recovery from his cold! The night before he was too sick for square dancing. Nice to spend the day with his oldest son Phillip.

Good strategy to bring home half your lunch for dinner, Mom. That way you get to enjoy it twice.

Mom is certainly doing alot of legwork for Gary, checking out houses for him in both Simi Valley and the San Fernando Valley.

Too Sick for Dancing

Monday January 27, 1992

We sleep in 10-1/2 hours. We really want to go square dance class tonight but our colds are not much better. We hope for a quick recovery but at 6 p.m. we know we would not be welcome, coughing and blowing our noses while touching hands with everyone and lots of hugging. Later at 8 p.m. we realize we really didn't feel well enough after all. We just wanted to go so badly. We miss our friends and love dancing. Hopefully we can go to our country western dance class tomorrow night.

We are more active today. Our colds are definitely better. I have given up wearing my wrist brace. It's so uncomfortable and there's been no improvement in 4 weeks. Seems like it's a little better after 3 days of not wearing it.

It takes alot to slow them down! We'll see if they're up for dancing tomorrow.

Gary is Wishy-Washy

Sunday January 26, 1992

Up early. Gary and Maria will come at 10 a.m. to look at this perfect house we found.

Frank still has lost his voice and feeling too punk today to walk. I feel about the same, maybe a little less mucous.

Gary and Maria arrive with the boys and nephew Brian. Brian is sick and throwing up so we take a towel for him and pile into our car to meet the realtor to see a house like the one I want Gary to buy. We look at that and 2 others to convince ourselves that he should buy the one on Emerald. Gary is wishy-washy now, not sure he wants to live in Simi. They leave at 1 p.m. We go out to lunch, get 2 movies, and veg out trying to cure our colds.

Poor Brian having to drive around when he is throwing up! That cannot have been fun for the others in the car either. With Mom and Frank both sick, riding in that car was virus city!

I can see why my brother was hesitant to move to Simi Valley. He already had a long commute to work for the DWP in Los Angeles, and moving to Simi would add another 20 minutes. Would it be worth it?

Maria's Birthday Party

Saturday January 25, 1992

We're up but feeling really punk. In spite of not feeling well, Frank takes his 4-mile walk. We check out a house for sale for Gary. It's perfect--a great location, price and has all the amenities he'd like. We spend time with Jody the realtor and head for Gary's.

Today is Maria's birthday party. There are lots of people and lots of food. We manage to stay a couple of hours. By the time we get home Frank has nearly lost his voice to his cold. I'm still coughing and blowing and quite tired.

Wow, that is inspiring to hear about Frank taking a 4-mile walk every morning, even when he's sick. I guess it's easier to do that in sunny California in January.

There are always lots of people when Maria has a party, whether it's a holiday, a birthday, or any other celebration. She is one of 9 children and has dozens of nieces and nephews. The photo above was not taken this date, but years later on her 50th birthday when we travelled 400 miles to Simi Valley in a thunderstorm to celebrate with the rest of her family.