Thousand Oaks Mall

Saturday December 5, 1992

A tough morning of nausea and weakness but by 1 p.m. I'm ready and I feel pretty good. Off to shop at the Thousand Oaks Mall. We're there about 2 hours. I drink an Orange Julius. That hits the spot. Later I have a turkey dog (corn) on a stick and a lemonade. The lemonade tastes great. The hot dog makes me feel ill a few hours later.

We manage to almost complete our Christmas shopping. We stop in Simi at a couple more stores. I'm exhausted. Frank brings me home. He eats a lite dinner and goes to Northridge to shop a little more. I eat a banana for dinner.

Wow, two days in a row of Christmas shopping. That must have been exhausting! I think it's kind of sweet that Mom and Frank enjoy shopping together. My husband Ric likes to shop, but I hate to shop with him. His style of shopping is like a marathon race, mine more like a stroll. He does almost all of his shopping at Costco. I prepare the list of groceries we need, which he usually loses somehow between home and the store, and then he makes a mad dash through the store quickly loading up the cart and then has a technique of scouting out the shortest and fastest line at the check-out to get out of the store quickly. The few times I have gone with him I just get upset because he leaves me in the dust while he races through the store.

And I Have Lots of Friends Who Care About Me

Saturday November 7, 1992

I feel pretty good again this morning. I pick up Maria at 10 a.m. We go to the craft fair at the Senior Center. We go to a few other fairs and stores, then to lunch at Eggs & Things. It's 3 p.m. when I finally take her home. We had a really good time together, alot of fun.

I go home to lay down and rest a couple of hours. I prepare some cheese bread and we go to Jeannie & Duane's for a potluck lasagna dinner with Harvey & Linda & Myra & Dave. We have great fun, lots of laughs and a good dinner. Found everyone has their problems. I really wouldn't want any of theirs. I have a good life full of lots of love and plenty of everything I could want, lots of friends who really care about me.

It's a late night for me. We get home at 12:30. I'm exhausted.

Mom was very blessed to have so many friends who truly did care about her. Many of her friends went way back to her elementary school days. Unfortunately, Frank threw away Mom's photo albums that I am quite sure had hundred of photos of her friends and activities during their marriage, so I don't have photos of Harvey & Linda, Myra & Dave, or Jeannie & Duane, but I do know that their friendship went back many years. I do have plenty of photos of Donna and Bob, like the one above taken at Lake Almanor in 1989. Donna was her best friend and we spent many vacations with them over the years.

It seems like Mom is finally beginning to become resigned to her own death. In spite of the fact that her problem is terminal illness, she still would not want to trade that for anyone else's problems. She appreciates all the friends and family she has loved over her lifetime, and is reflecting on how good her life has been instead of being sad or angry that it is ending.

Mom always loved to shop and I remember as a little girl she would drag me from store to store shopping for clothes. I hated it, and I still do not enjoy shopping. Fortunately, I am married to a man who loves to shop, so he does the grocery shopping, and I buy clothes maybe once per year. Maria loves to shop too, and makes a big production about getting up early on Black Friday the day after Thanksgiving to hit lots of stores. I'm glad Mom had Maria to go shopping with.

Shop Til You Drop

Saturday August 8, 1992

I'm up about 7:30. I return some phone calls and then head out to shop Thousand Oaks May Co. sale. I find some great bargains at Lane Bryant. I shop several stores til I'm done in. My feet hurt.

I'm home by 6 p.m. exhausted. I finally hustle up some leftover dinner about 7:30. We watch the Olympics and go to bed. I did really well shopping as many hours (5) as I did.

Nothing like the word "SALE" to get her adrenaline going. May Co. was one of her favorite stores. It was purchased by Macy's in 2005.

On August 8, 1992 the "Dream Team" USA Basketball team won the gold medal against Croatia. The team beat all their opponents by an average of 43.8 points. For the first time NBA players were allowed to play in the Olympics. Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Charles Barkley and Co. inspired kids around the globe to give basketball a shot, and the game’s popularity exploded.

Clothes Shopping

Wednesday June 10, 1992

Slow getting started this morning. Kathy Murphy calls and we talk for an hour. Then I clean the bath and bedroom thoroughly. I'm exhausted when I finally come down at 1 p.m. dressed and ready for the day.

I go shopping and buy some clothes for me at Mervyn's in the regular size department. I wear a large. that feels much better than shopping in the big lady stores. I'm exhausted 2 hours later.

I go by the Marvel house to see how Frank is doing. He has the house looking so lovely. Many phone calls each day to rent it but nothing serious.

We have dinner and head for the movies, but our passes are expired so we go shopping at Target and buy a high chair for Chris' baby.

The pains in my lower abdomen are so bad I have to hurry to the car to lay down. They are worse than yesterday.

So Mom is out shopping for clothes again while Frank is slaving away on HER rental house, one that will go to her children when she dies. That doesn't seem fair at all. First of all, Mom already has so many clothes they fill 3 closets, and her square dancing outfits have an extra rack of their own. My husband Ric has been working on one of our rental houses for the past 6 weeks, and I make sure I am there by his side doing whatever I can to help. When I was working at PG&E, of course, I could not do this, but now that I am retired I try to support him by doing little things while he does the heavy lifting, carpentry, plumbing, and electrical work.

That must be very concerning to have her abdominal pain get so much worse in just one day, especially since she is taking medication that is supposed to be shrinking the tumors. I hope she contacts her doctor, and soon!

Cozumel

Friday April 10, 1992

We dock in Cozumel about 9 a.m. I sleep til 9:30. Frank brings me my breakfast in the room. We go ashore after lunch to shop. We share a cab with Bob and Anita for $3.00. We find a couple of cute dresses for Sara and one for Taylor. A Mexican blouse for me.

We are back on board for dinner at 6 p.m. Allen and Ida never seem to like what they order and order something else. The waiter puts their dinner in the garbage box. I'm very tired from shopping so after dinner we go ashore for a little more shopping, then up to Oscar's bar where Frank has a cappuccino coffee. We're in bed by 11:30.

What? They didn't even bother to see the sights at either Grand Cayman or Cozumel. If I hired a taxi I would have him drive me around to show me the beaches and the Mayan ruins. Maybe they had already been to the Western Carribean? I definitely would not have spent my time shopping at the numerous souvenir shops near the cruise ship ports. When we visited Alaska in 2001 we would leave town whent he cruise ships came in because thousands of tourist would inundate the areas near the ports. I guess that's why we have never tried a cruise. Too many crowds!

Sounds like Mom got to sleep in after their late night. Too bad they were stuck with such finicky travellers at their dining table.

The Past Two Weeks Are Catching Up With Us

Monday December 30, 1991

Up, feeling good. Later feeling worn out. Frank too. I think the past two weeks are catching up with us.

We go to the doctor at 11 a.m. He thinks my wrist is a tendinitis problem. He gives me a wrist brace to wear. Frank has an infected pimple in his nose. He gets medicine.

We "After Christmas Sale" shop, bank.

We go square dancing to help the beginning class. Afterwards, we go to Hudson's Grill with Marty and Kathy. It's a good turnout of 50-60 class and club friends. I have a malt. It tastes soooo good.

Hah! Mom may have been tired, but nothing perked up her energy like a SALE! After spending the day at the doctor's office and shopping, she still had the energy to go square dancing too. I wish I had her energy!

Dinner with Marty & Kathy Murphy

Thursday October 24, 1991

Marty & Kathy Murphy have invited us to dinner tonight. We are out and about only to go to lunch. I felt ill at lunch and couldn't eat it. I spent the rest of the afternoon lying down. I guess I overdid it this morning moving all my summer clothes to the other room closet and moving all my winter clothes in. Then I went outside to water all my patio plants.

By 4:30 I'm feeling well enough to go to dinner. Kathy has prepared a lovely dinner and we really enjoy it. My appetite has really returned. We stay to watch the world series game and head home about 9:00 feeling good.

Marthy Murphy worked with mom before she retired and they both continued to be friends for many years. In fact Kathy was at mom's bedside at Kaiser Hospital in Woodland Hills almost everyday for the last 2 weeks of her life. That is a faithful friend. I heard that they moved to Arizona a few years after mom passed away, but I have been unable to find them. I love Facebook for finding old friends, but a friend with a common name like Murphy is hard to find, even if they are on Facebook, which of course many are not.

Exchanging her closet full of summer clothes for her closet full of winter clothes was indeed a big undertaking. Mom had a huge walk-in closet and it was full. One of the guest bedrooms had a closet holding all her off-season clothes, plus a rack devoted just to her square dancing outfits. Mom always loved to shop, and she usually dragged me along with her when I was a little girl. Perhaps that is why I hate to shop!

Ice Cream Always Makes Me Feel Better

Friday May 17, 1991

Another good night's sleep. I'm sure now that taking my vitamins after dinner ruined my sleep.

Mother is up early too, packing to leave, but she stays until after lunch. After she leaves for Gene and Cathy's, I rush to clean the bathrooms, wash all her linens, make the beds and vacuum the whole house. Moping the floors is too much and I feel quite ill all over. I lay down for an hour or so. I'm hungry every couple of hours this week since Tuesday. I devour a large bowl of popcorn.

I feel better when Frank gets home so we go to Ross, Mervyns and Target. Then we eat at Imperial Gardens and go to see "Oscar" at the movies (one of ours).

I'm having some shooting pains in various parts of my stomach. We treat ourselves to Baskin Robbins ice cream cone.

I don't think mom understands the concept of taking it easy. Even though she is obviously exhausted and in pain, she is determined to clean the whole house and then goes shopping and out to dinner. For her perhaps shopping is therapeutic. Maybe having ice cream is comforting too.

Shopping

Tuesday April 23, 1991

I am sleeping very well these nights and waking about 7 a.m. At 10:30 a.m. I am at Kaiser to have my blood checked to see how I am accepting the chemo drugs. When I talk to Dr. Bix she is very pleased with the results and how well I'm doing. I ask about her life and we get to know each other a little. She's never had time to marry, is 34, and has 2 dogs.

I treat myself to a stir-fry chicken pita at Bakers Square Restaurant and then buy some new square dance clothes. At Penneys I finally pick up my new glasses and buy a new bathing suit for Hawaii.

My appetite is almost back to normal; no longer losing weight. I have an occasional little pain here and there in my belly. No problem. I feel great.

Didn't I tell you mom loved to shop? As soon as she was feeling up to it, she was buying herself yet another square dancing outfit and a new bathing suit.

Mom was always interested in people. She loved to study them from a distance and engage strangers in conversation. No way was she going to have a doctor who did not share her personal life.