Chris Cancelled Her Appointment for Caesarean

Thursday July 2, 1992

Bad night. Body aches and pain. Up alot. Tylenol helps. I take a cold tablet and that seems to help alot with the head congestion. I go back to bed after breakfast until noon. When I do get up, shower and dress, I feel quite a bit better. I spend the rest of the day on the couch, mostly sitting. My cough is still terrible. My attitude is much improved. I hope I feel well enough on Sunday to make the trip to San Diego.

I call Chris. She has cancelled her appointment for Caesarean on Monday. She'll wait for a natural childbirth. Hopefully, that will be soon.

I eat very little today.

So Derek would have been born on July 6 instead of July 14 if I had gone ahead with the surgery. I like the sound of that! Close to fireworks and Independence Day. I wish I would have insisted on the surgery. It would have saved me from 36 hours of painful labor.

Losing The Battle?

Wednesday July 1, 1992

Awake at 7:30 feeling pretty good considering I awoke every hour during the night so got up to pee. By the time I had finished breakfast I was coughing and exhausted and lying on the couch. I seemed to get weaker and weaker through the day and spent most of it back in bed. Somehow, I managed to shower and makeup and even curled my hair. At 4:30 determination drove me out of bed and downstairs. I've been cold all day, but no fever. Should I continue taking the vitamins? Are they to blame somehow? I take them and the amoxicillin the doctor prescribed. Today I feel like I'm slipping away and losing the battle, but I must not think that way or I will for sure.

I have never heard of vitamins causing a nasty cough. I think it must be a virus. Since she has been on chemotherapy, her immune system is weakened and any little bug can wreck havoc. Notice how Mom is still determined to shower, put on make-up and curl her hair no matter how sick she feels? For her that was a one-hour chore, but if it made her feel better, I guess, whatever! I only put on makeup when I'm going to church and I almost never curl my hair!

False Labor

Tuesday June 30, 1992

Up at 7 a.m. I don't feel too bad. We take the truck to Thousand Oaks and leave it for a paint job. I call Ric at 7:30 and he answers. Darn, Chris is home. Her contractions have ended even though they were 5 minutes apart at the hospital at 4 a.m. this morning.

We go out to breakfast and I'm starting to feel bad. At home I force myself into the shower and at 11 a.m. I'm at the doctor's office to be sure I don't have pneumonia. The doctor doesn't hear anything, but prescribes antibiotic for good measure. I'm coughing bad and my chest and back hurt. I'm so tired and weak. At home I nap for an hour and feel well enough to go to Palmdale for Joey's hockey game. We have a great time, eat at the mall and shop some. We're home about 9. I sleep my way home.

Those darn Braxton Hicks contractions. Like most new moms, I have had them with every pregnancy. Too bad Mom had to call the house to see whether or not we were home or at the hospital. Today everyone carries a cellphone and can contact friends and family whenever and wherever they are. Such a huge convenience!

Chris Is In Labor

Monday June 29, 1992

I'm up and coughing worse and feeling drained and tired. Frank walks to the dentist, but returns home later quite ill. He has horrible pains in his stomach and some fever. He curls up and sleeps all day. He's feeling better by evening, but I decide not better enough to go dancing. I don't feel much like it myself.

Chris calls about 9 p.m. to say she's in labor, 15 minutes apart. We talk a long time. I pray extra hard tonight for her. I not only pray for her health and the baby's, but I pray that Ric will be there for her the way she needs him. I hope she has an easy birth.

Ahh! That makes me feel great to know that Mom is praying for me. Unfortunately, it was not to be an easy birth, just as it was not an easy pregnancy.

Impromptu Square Dance At Bakers Square

Sunday June 28, 1992

I seem to have a cough today. Nothing more, just a cough. I feel weak and tired, but decide to go square dancing in Woodland Hills anyway. We are an hour late and everyone is leaving and goes to Bakers Square. We had a waffle breakfast so about 3 p.m. we're ready for lunch or dinner. There are about 28 people there. We set up an L-size table in the back room. After eating, Dick sets up his equipment, and we dance 3 tips at Bakers Square. The manager doesn't want us to leave. The customers are enjoying listening and watching us.

Whoa, that's a big group. No wonder the manager of the restaurant didn't want them to leave. 28 people must have brought in alot of revenue that night. Also, they provided free entertainment for his other customers.

As for her cough, it seems to me that Mom had a cough for years, especially in the mornings. Maybe it was so natural for her she didn't notice.

Surprise Wedding Reception for Gary & Maria

Saturday June 27, 1992

Up and get ready for Gary and Maria's wedding party. Frank helps me prepare the vegetables for the vegie tray. At 2:30 we go to Gary and Maria's for the trip to L.A. Her brother Ralph and Rita are giving the party.

They don't seem to be suspicious about my ice chest or big Mervyns' bag that holds the tray. We arrive at 3:45 and many are there to say surprise! Bob and Geri and Alda and my brother Gene, Marty and Kathy are There. The rest are Maria's family and friends. We have a good time and great food.

We're home about 9 p.m., tired.

Bob is my Dad and Geri is his wife. Dad's mother Grandma Alda was already well into her 80s, but in pretty good health still. She is pictured above with my brother Gary and my Mom at the party.

Breach Baby

Friday June 26, 1992

I'm still very slow in the morning, very tired and listless. By 1 p.m. I'm off to get the car washed, buy groceries, and do some shopping. I feel pretty good while I'm out. Maybe I'm depressed at home. I can't get motivated to do much.

We have a nice dinner at home and watch TV. Cut back the Vitamin C from 5000 to 2000 today and the gas is much better.

Chris calls and is so confused. She thought the baby was breach, so she would set a date for a C-section, but the doctor turned the baby and said she'd probably do fine with vaginal birth. So now she's up in the air again. I feel so sorry for her.

I remember that last month before Derek was born when I would visit my OB Dr. McCarthy in Santa Rosa. Even though Derek was quite large (he was 9 lb 14 oz when born July 14) and was in a breach position, every week the doctor would turn him until he was head down and I would walk out of his office feeling like I was carrying a bowling ball between my legs. A few days later Derek turned again and was breach.

I remember Dr. McCarthy telling me I should do fine with a vaginal birth, that the baby looked to be around 8 pounds. Boy was he off! Not only that, but why is he ignoring the fact the Derek's head is 12 cm diameter, much larger than Justin who was 10 cm, and the opening of my pelvis was only 9 cm. He put me through needless suffering for 36 hours. After Derek was born I changed doctors. Three years later I gave birth to Ryan who was also breach, but stubbornly held to his position. My doctor and a nurse worked on my belly for 30 minutes until it was black and blue, but they could not get him to turn. That C-section was scheduled 5 days before his due date.

Wow 5000 mg of Vitamin C is alot. No wonder Mom has gas.

Chris Has an Ultrasound Today

Thursday June 25, 1992

An average day with lots of gas. It must be the vitamins. Probably the "C".

I talk to Chris. She had an ultrasound today and the baby is somewhat breach and the head is bigger than Justin's was so it would seem she must have a C-section. She will see the doctor tomorrow to set a date. Hopefully, it will be next week.

We go to Gary's in the evening. He is working in the yard. Later he takes a quick swim. Then we visit for awhile. It's so nice to have them here in Simi. I worry that they'll think they see or hear from us too much. but they keep saying "Come over."

Gary and Maria still love to entertain. Maria comes from a large family of 9 siblings, so her house is always full of family and friends coming and going. They are wonderful hosts. I'm sure they loved to see Mom and Frank.

Wow, I had forgotten that my ultrasound showed that Derek's head was larger than Justin's. I was in labor with Justin in 1981 for 23 hours. Finally the doctor ordered an X-ray and determiend that Justin's head was 10 cm across and the opening of my pelvis was only 9, so I could labor for days, and he was not coming out. The doctor called for an anesthesiologist and I was given general anesthesia with a C-section. When Derek was born his head was 12 cm across. I remember the doctor seemed surprised, but the ultrasound showed that he had a big head, so why did my doctor not schedule a C-section? It would have saved me from 36 hours of labor!

Cherry Picking in Leona Valley

Wednesday June 24, 1992

Up at 7 to leave at 9 a.m. with Jim and Shirley to pick up Robin and Delores in Mission Hills and drive to Leona Valley to pick cherries. It's a long crowded ride with six big people in our car. We go up through Bouquet Canyon, but come home from Palmdale. When we get to Leona Valley we get a map of all the cherry pickin places. We find a place to pick apricots also. The lady at the place where we pick cherries is really nice to us and we stay awhile to visit. We stop for lunch where we got the maps, a small hometown restaurant. We have great hamburgers and peanut butter pie.

We are home by 3 p.m. so at 7 p.m. we go to a movie and then come home to have dinner and watch TV.

I have had terribly gas and pains all day. It's probably all the new vitamins I'm taking.

And I'm thinking it was probably too many cherries and apricots! I had never heard of Leona Valley, but looked it up on-line and saw that it's on Elizabeth Lake Road near Palmdale. When I was a teenager my parents often took my brother and I to Elizabeth Lake or Lake Hughes, both of which were in that area of Leona Valley. I remember lots of signs for cherry picking. The fact that Leona Valley has maps of the cherry farms almost makes it sound like wine country where I live and you can get maps to hundreds of different wineries.

My dad liked Lake Hughes so much that he and his second wife actually bought a cabin there many years ago as a weekend getaway.

A Barbecue for Gary and Maria

Tuesday June 23, 1992

Up and out to see Dr. Bienstock, my GYN surgeon. I feel good, light morning sweats, getting better, just in time for the hot weather, 100 degrees today.

Dr. Bienstock examines me, but so gently I wonder if he really does feel the new tumors. He says the one on the right is smooth, not irregular. We have a good talk about alternative treatments.

Frank and I have lunch at Good Earth and go shopping for a BBQ for Gary in Northridge. They are out and we end up going to Ventura to pick it up. It's a nice drive, but I'm so sleepy.

At home our neighbor brings us homemade peanut butter, which turns out to be our dinner. Frank assembles the BBQ.

That's great that her morning sweats are getting better. They must have been caused from suddenly going off the hormone replacement therapy when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I assume she was on HRT for hot flashes and night sweats to begin with, and I can't help thinking that the HRT was the cause of her cancer. Within the last 10 years, studies showed that that HRT had a positive link to heart disease and possibly breast cancer and women were discouraged from taking hormones. I am so fortunate that I never had hot flashes or night sweats after menopause. It was a very easy transition for me, for which I am thankful.

Gary and Maria entertain frequently, and although I don't know if they are still using the BBQ that Mom and Frank gave them, I do know that Gary uses his BBQ frequently as his company lounges around the pool. I enjoyed the grilled peaches he made one night, my first and only time enjoying that dessert.

A New Diamond for her Wedding Ring

Monday June 22, 1992

I'm up and off to get my nails done. Frank joins me at 12:30 and we have lunch at Del Taco. Afterward we go to the jewelry store to pick out a new diamond for my wedding ring to replace the smallest one that fell out and was lost. We do a little shopping for a gift for Gary and Maria.

At 7:30 we go square dancing. I think I'm too tired but surprise myself by dancing every tip. At the end I am aching all over, my feet, knees, hips and back. We go right home and watch TV for an hour and fall into bed.

Today I bought a bunch of new vitamins to take that help fight cancer according to the book "Nutritional Healing".

Finally a cheap fast-food lunch for these two. I have to admit that Taco Bell was our favorite until a news report came out last year that stated that their tacos have very little beef, mostly filler. Yuck, no wonder they sell for 79 cents. After that report, we switched to Wendy's chili for $1.29.

Mom left behind hundreds of necklaces, pins, bracelets, rings, and earrings, mostly costume jewelry which I only recently gave away. I never saw her wedding ring. I suppose Frank kept it for sentimental reasons.

It sounds like square dancing is very good exercise. I don't think Mom's aches and pains had a thing to do with her cancer, but just the fact that she was out of shape, like most of us.

Fathers Day

Sunday June 21, 1992 Fathers Day

Up early and off to Eggs & Things for breakfast. It's really good!

Dolores (Frank's daughter) arrives about 9 a.m. We have a wonderful visit with her. I leave Frank and Dee alone to have some "alone time" while I get showered and clean to go to L.A. About 3 p.m. we head for Frank's folks house where we visit for awhile and then all go out to dinner. It's a wonderful dinner at an Italian place.

I'm feeling really good today. My last dose of chemo was last night for 2 week break. We are home about 9 p.m.

I wonder if Mom felt sad that her own father had died and she could not celebrate Father's Day with him. When my husband asked what I wanted for Mothers Day last Sunday I told him what I really wanted was my Mother. I had to settle for a small chili from Wendy's! I always miss her most on days like Mothers Day and her birthday May 26.

Future Summer Plans

Saturday June 20, 1992

I think I might go to Gary and Maria's to see Rosa (Maria's sister) for a short time today, but get too busy running around doing I don't know what that I don't find time.

At 7:00 we go square dancing with our club, a visitation in Woodland Hills cross from Kaiser Hospital. It's a good time and afterward we all go out for coffee and snacks at Red Robin.

Our future plans include a one-week trip to Colorado in July, Lake Don Pedro July 13, Justin's visit July 4-11, visit Chris July 18, El Capitan campout in August, Dixieland Jazz Festival September 5-7, Hawaii in October, Mediterranean cruise in October, Dee and Steve's in August. All this should keep us pretty busy.

Wow, I am exhausted just hearing about all the trips they have planned. I never thought of Mom and Frank as wealthy, but how did they find the money to travel to all these places every year and go out to eat at restaurants almost every night? Both of them were retired. Mom was too young to collect social security and had no pension. Frank was collecting a pension from the City of Los Angeles, but surely it was much less income than working full-time. My husband and I just got back from a trip to Hawaii where we stayed in our Wyndham timeshare, which was booked a year in advance, I got a great deal on airfare, just $300 round trip for me and $99 for Ric on Alaska Airlines companion fare, which we get every year by opening a credit card with the airline. We ate out only once the whole week, at Wendy's for $1.29 small chili. All other food was purchased at Costco after arriving at the Kona airport and prepared in the kitchen of our condo. We didn't take any excursions, we didn't go to any luaus, we didn't go on any cruises. We just relaxed around the resort pool, spent the day at the beach, or took a drive to different spots on the Big Island, but not too far since gas costs almost $5/gallon in Hawaii. I can't imagine ever getting to the point in my life where money is no object.