Today is a Milestone

Today I start publishing the entries from Mom's final journal (Book 6). Coincidentally the stats on my blog also show I just passed a milestone with my blog. I have just passed 25,000 hits. Thank you to my faithful viewers for hanging in there with me on this journey. Please feel free to post comments here. It's always nice to get feedback.

Tuesday January 12, 1993

Didn't sleep well at all. Don't feel well when I get up at 7:00 but feel I must go to the driving class for the second day. By 9 I'm ready to go. I'm really tired, but make it through the 3-hour class. We go to Coco's for lunch. I enjoy fish and chips. At home I rest and try to take a nap.

Frank goes to Gary's to turn on the heat and make popcorn for Joe and Junior and 4 of their friends.

At 2 p.m. I go to Fantastic Sam's to get a perm. They say my hair is damaged and could not have a perm. They cut and conditioned it.

Not hungry for dinner, we go to Gary's with Junior's birthday present. Frank has cake and ice cream with Gary. We come home after 1-1/2 hours. I'm tired and go to bed at 9:45.

It's no wonder Mom's hair is damaged from all the chemo drugs running through her veins and hair follicles. Surprisingly she has not lost any of her hair yet.

Shaky

Saturday December 12, 1992

Bad night! Hot spells and nausea. Didn't sleep much. Up at 8:30. Made waffles for us.

Frank colored my hair. I finished the Christmas cards. He went to Newbury Park to meet the new tenant to let him put some boxes in the house. Rent starts next week.

I seem to be jittery and shaky today. Don't know why.

I can't imagine a worse smell than the overwhelming odor of ammonia from the hair color chemicals when Mom is already nauseous.

I definitely do see a difference in her handwriting today. It is very small and jerky. I'm surprised she decided to write Christmas cards today.

Recovering

Wednesday November 11, 1992

Slept pretty well considering. The pain in my chest is better. After we do the saline flush the connection is leaking. I panic. Frank is in Newbury Park. When he returns we attach a new tube and the leaking stops. I still have no energy but have my hair and makeup on by noon.

Oh for heaven's sake, Mom. You are recovering from surgery. Do you really need to fix your hair and put on makeup to lie in bed?

Losing The Battle?

Wednesday July 1, 1992

Awake at 7:30 feeling pretty good considering I awoke every hour during the night so got up to pee. By the time I had finished breakfast I was coughing and exhausted and lying on the couch. I seemed to get weaker and weaker through the day and spent most of it back in bed. Somehow, I managed to shower and makeup and even curled my hair. At 4:30 determination drove me out of bed and downstairs. I've been cold all day, but no fever. Should I continue taking the vitamins? Are they to blame somehow? I take them and the amoxicillin the doctor prescribed. Today I feel like I'm slipping away and losing the battle, but I must not think that way or I will for sure.

I have never heard of vitamins causing a nasty cough. I think it must be a virus. Since she has been on chemotherapy, her immune system is weakened and any little bug can wreck havoc. Notice how Mom is still determined to shower, put on make-up and curl her hair no matter how sick she feels? For her that was a one-hour chore, but if it made her feel better, I guess, whatever! I only put on makeup when I'm going to church and I almost never curl my hair!

Walking to Hudson's Grill

Wednesday February 19, 1992

I feel pretty good today. I slept in til 8 a.m. Frank went visiting in the valley in the morning. At noon we walk down to Hudson's Grill for lunch. By the time we walk back home, I'm tired but feel like I could do it again tomorrow. Maybe I'm finally ready to get back to our 4-mile walks. I know I'll never lose this weight if I don't get back to walking.

My fingernail that broke off is still very tender and my right wrist is still in alot of pain. My hips ache alot if I stand too much and when I walk but only the first 15 minutes. My hair is back to normal. It is as thick as it was a year ago and looks pretty good.

Hudson's Grill in Simi Valley was open from 1986 until 2006 and was located in the Sycamore Village Plaza. That's about 1-1/2 miles from their house on Ambergrove Court. To walk there and back would be a 3-mile walk. At a fast pace, that's good exercise. I try to walk about 3 miles per day, which takes about an hour. Walking is such great exercise and does help to alleviate alot of those aches and pains that Mom is experiencing.

Frank is Burning Out

Wednesday, September 11, 1991

Usual day--some backache. Seems my hair is getting worse every day. The crown and back of my head feels like almost all the hair is gone or 1/4" long. Nothing there to grab with the curling iron.

At Lemona we eat McLean burgers. Frank is laying the kitchen floor. Johnny comes and we make a decision about the carpet. They will lay it tomorrow.

Frank is tired and burning out. Thank God he's almost finished working on Lemona. We leave about 4 p.m.. Frank comes home to mow and trim our yard.

Jeanna and Spencer come to stay a couple of hours while Dana and Val go to open house at their school.

Not sure who Jeanna and Spencer are, I must assume they are neighbor kids.

Poor Frank, he has been working everyday at the Lemona house for several weeks. If you are reading this Frank, I want you to know how much I appreciate all you did for mom, and for Gary and me, who were the ones who inherited the Lemona house. You are a hard worker, and were so good to mom. Thank you, thank you, thank you. May God bless you.

It must have been hard on Mom to see her hair falling out and breaking off. She was always quite vain about her appearance and every morning curled her hair with a curling iron before spraying it with hairspray. I did not know until now that she had an issue with hair loss. Whatever hair was lost, she covered up nicely. I remember her last days in the hospital brushing her hair, as she loved to do for me my whole life. It was so hard to keep from crying. I never told her her hair was coming out in clumps as I brushed it.