Chris Cancelled Her Appointment for Caesarean

Thursday July 2, 1992

Bad night. Body aches and pain. Up alot. Tylenol helps. I take a cold tablet and that seems to help alot with the head congestion. I go back to bed after breakfast until noon. When I do get up, shower and dress, I feel quite a bit better. I spend the rest of the day on the couch, mostly sitting. My cough is still terrible. My attitude is much improved. I hope I feel well enough on Sunday to make the trip to San Diego.

I call Chris. She has cancelled her appointment for Caesarean on Monday. She'll wait for a natural childbirth. Hopefully, that will be soon.

I eat very little today.

So Derek would have been born on July 6 instead of July 14 if I had gone ahead with the surgery. I like the sound of that! Close to fireworks and Independence Day. I wish I would have insisted on the surgery. It would have saved me from 36 hours of painful labor.

Losing The Battle?

Wednesday July 1, 1992

Awake at 7:30 feeling pretty good considering I awoke every hour during the night so got up to pee. By the time I had finished breakfast I was coughing and exhausted and lying on the couch. I seemed to get weaker and weaker through the day and spent most of it back in bed. Somehow, I managed to shower and makeup and even curled my hair. At 4:30 determination drove me out of bed and downstairs. I've been cold all day, but no fever. Should I continue taking the vitamins? Are they to blame somehow? I take them and the amoxicillin the doctor prescribed. Today I feel like I'm slipping away and losing the battle, but I must not think that way or I will for sure.

I have never heard of vitamins causing a nasty cough. I think it must be a virus. Since she has been on chemotherapy, her immune system is weakened and any little bug can wreck havoc. Notice how Mom is still determined to shower, put on make-up and curl her hair no matter how sick she feels? For her that was a one-hour chore, but if it made her feel better, I guess, whatever! I only put on makeup when I'm going to church and I almost never curl my hair!

False Labor

Tuesday June 30, 1992

Up at 7 a.m. I don't feel too bad. We take the truck to Thousand Oaks and leave it for a paint job. I call Ric at 7:30 and he answers. Darn, Chris is home. Her contractions have ended even though they were 5 minutes apart at the hospital at 4 a.m. this morning.

We go out to breakfast and I'm starting to feel bad. At home I force myself into the shower and at 11 a.m. I'm at the doctor's office to be sure I don't have pneumonia. The doctor doesn't hear anything, but prescribes antibiotic for good measure. I'm coughing bad and my chest and back hurt. I'm so tired and weak. At home I nap for an hour and feel well enough to go to Palmdale for Joey's hockey game. We have a great time, eat at the mall and shop some. We're home about 9. I sleep my way home.

Those darn Braxton Hicks contractions. Like most new moms, I have had them with every pregnancy. Too bad Mom had to call the house to see whether or not we were home or at the hospital. Today everyone carries a cellphone and can contact friends and family whenever and wherever they are. Such a huge convenience!

Chris Is In Labor

Monday June 29, 1992

I'm up and coughing worse and feeling drained and tired. Frank walks to the dentist, but returns home later quite ill. He has horrible pains in his stomach and some fever. He curls up and sleeps all day. He's feeling better by evening, but I decide not better enough to go dancing. I don't feel much like it myself.

Chris calls about 9 p.m. to say she's in labor, 15 minutes apart. We talk a long time. I pray extra hard tonight for her. I not only pray for her health and the baby's, but I pray that Ric will be there for her the way she needs him. I hope she has an easy birth.

Ahh! That makes me feel great to know that Mom is praying for me. Unfortunately, it was not to be an easy birth, just as it was not an easy pregnancy.

Impromptu Square Dance At Bakers Square

Sunday June 28, 1992

I seem to have a cough today. Nothing more, just a cough. I feel weak and tired, but decide to go square dancing in Woodland Hills anyway. We are an hour late and everyone is leaving and goes to Bakers Square. We had a waffle breakfast so about 3 p.m. we're ready for lunch or dinner. There are about 28 people there. We set up an L-size table in the back room. After eating, Dick sets up his equipment, and we dance 3 tips at Bakers Square. The manager doesn't want us to leave. The customers are enjoying listening and watching us.

Whoa, that's a big group. No wonder the manager of the restaurant didn't want them to leave. 28 people must have brought in alot of revenue that night. Also, they provided free entertainment for his other customers.

As for her cough, it seems to me that Mom had a cough for years, especially in the mornings. Maybe it was so natural for her she didn't notice.

I Now Have a Cold

Thursday March 26, 1992

I slept well last night thanks to a codeine/Tylenol tablet. Upon waking I believe my body aches have subsided but I still have chest pain and cough. I'm weak and when I take my shower I get so hot and sweaty it takes 45 minutes to cool down enough to put make-up on. The sweat just streams from my hair and face.

At 2:00 I see a doctor in Simi clinic. She orders a chest X-ray, blood test and 2 EKGs one hour apart. She says I'm OK, but my blood (white cells) count is down to 2.5 when 5-10 is normal. She gives me codeine cough medicine and antibiotics as preventative. About 7 p.m. my nose starts to run like a faucet. I now have a cold! I pray for a healing so I can get ready for our trip on Tuesday.

Uncle Ricky isn't doing very well. I pray for his recovery if that be God's will.

Oh no, I imagine it's going to be hard for her body to fight off a cold when her white cell count is so low. I did a little research on the subject, and it turns out that chemotherapy is one of the causes of low white cell count, as is cancer, and as are viral infections. She's dealing with all of these at once. I hope Mom will just take a rest from her busy life.

Sweating for 45 minutes after a shower doesn't sounds normal. After all that sweating she probably wanted to take another shower. It doesn't appear to be a symptom of either cancer or chemotherapy, but could have been a menopausal symptom caused by her hysterectomy.

Counter Offer

Thursday February 6, 1992

Up at 7:30 and dressed waiting for Jody the realtor to pick up Gary's check for deposit on the house he made an offer on last night. Frank leaves at 8:15 to go to Doris' class she teaches on carving at the senior center.

I feel drug out this morning so just lay on the couch til 10 a.m. I had kemo on Tuesday and my cough was really bad last night. I think my cough just wore me out, plus I didn't sleep well last night thinking about the house Gary made an offer on.

Jody finally calls to say the seller has counter-offered and has a second offer also. I'm pleased it looks good. I feel better after my shower, good enough to go shopping for a couple of hours. My cough is much better today but my right wrist is sore as ever.

Mom's entry from the day before says that her cough stopped when she went to bed. Looks like it started up again and kept her up alot of the night. Insomnia is epidemic in this country. Like Mom I often lose sleep when I am worried, but I also lose sleep when I am excited about something. She was just as excited, or maybe more so, than Gary, about the house he was trying to buy. I hope when my children buy their first house, they allow me to come along house shopping with them. I love to look at houses. I remember even as a teenager going with a friend to look at model homes just for fun. Buying a new house is very exciting, and if Gary made this move, he would be closer to Mom, just a couple miles away.

I am laughing out loud at Mom's statement that she went shopping for a few hours even though she felt sick. For a shopaholic shopping is therapeutic. For me it's just plain exhausting.

Vaginal Bleeding & Pains

Monday January 20, 1992

Awake at 7:15. I decide to stay in bed all morning to rest my awful cough. Frank makes me a nice omelette breakfast. I arise at 1 p.m. to get ready for a 3:15 doctor appointment. The doctor says I have a virus and prescribes an antibiotic to prevent my going into pneumonia due to my weak immune system from kemo.

I decide square dancing would not be a good idea tonight so I get cuddly in my sweats and settle in for a restful evening.

I have vaginal bleeding in the morning. It leaves a spot dime-size on my panties. I'm also having pains where my ovaries once were for a few days now.

Wow, Mom finally decides to take a night off! Cuddling up with a good book in front of a warm fire or soaking in a warm tub sounds like my idea of a great evening! Having vaginal bleeding when there is no more uterus cannot be a good sign. She doesn't seem concerned. In fact, this last paragraph was obviously added the next day with a different pen, almost like she forgot about it, and then remembered later to write it down. Keeping the journal is a good way for her to keep track of her symptoms.

I Have a Terrible Cough

Sunday January 19, 1992

Up early. We must check out at 12:00. We visit a bit and pull out about noon and arrive home about 2 p.m. I have a terrible cough today so decline a last group walk to the beach in the morning. We also decline to stop for lunch with the group in Camarillo because we are going to a potluck tonight at Turners.

Once home I hurry to make an El Dorado casserole for tonight, then lay down to rest. My chest and back hurt.

We arrive at the Turners with Robbie and Delores about 6 p.m. There are 12 of us from our square dance club. The food is great! Everyone but me square dances to records and tapes. I enjoy watching, feeling too punk from my cough to participate.

No chance here of Mom turning down a social engagement, even when she's feeling "punk".

I Breathe In Too Much Smoke

Saturday January 18, 1992

Slept very well, warm and cozy but awoke with a tightness in my chest and a worse cough, maybe from breathing in too much smoke at the campfire last night.

We shower in our trailer and join our friends for horseshoes about 9:30. Later we take a walk for an hour or so. I do fine even on the uphills. After lunch we all go for a bike ride to the oceanside campground. We are in the canyon. The downhill is fun but there is no joy in the uphill. I end up walking alot. My heart is pounding and I'm soaking wet. My breathing is labored. Not good for my bad congested chest, but I'm proud that I did it.

At night we have a potluck and a big bonfire and lots of laughs. I breathe in too much smoke!

Too bad they were camping back in the canyon. One of the reasons I have always wanted to camp at El Capitan is the beautiful ocean view with palm trees. I suppose it's very hard to get reservations there since California State Parks are booked up almost a year in advance. It sounds like a good time with friends. For mom, who was used to camping in a tent on the ground, I'm sure it felt like pure luxury.

A Cure For What Ails You?

Tuesday May 7, 1991

Sleeping til 8 a.m. lately, making up for lost sleep fropm 2-4 a.m. each night, I guess. Feeling more energetic and less arthritic than usual. Not allowed to take Motrin for my arthritic knees, thumbs, shoulders, neck and back, but that all seems to bother me less than a few months ago, another reason I'm feeling so well. Haven't noticed any hair loss. My bladder hasn't performed so well in months. A trip to the bathroom every 2-3 hours seems quite normal. Bowels are working perfect also. Even my allergies and cough have subsided.

Tonight we have Robbie and Dolores and Shirley and Jim over to meet. They are going to Alaska in their RVs and share information. Maybe they will see each other there. They seem to like each other. We pig out on angel food cake, strawberries and whip cream. All diet, of course.

OK, I have never heard of chemotherapy being a cure for arthritis, allergies and a cough! Mom had frequent pain in her shoulders and had cortisone injections several times. She had orthoscopic surgery on her knees a few years earlier, and every morning she woke up with a cough. Not sure what she was allergic to. She hadn't smoked a cigarette in 25 years.