The Funeral List

Thursday February 4, 1993

Didn't sleep much after 4 a.m. but feel pretty good when I get up at 7:30. I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed until 10. Frank is at carving class.

I wash and condition my hair. After lunch I dust our bedroom. Frank goes to the valley to bank. When he returns we go to Newbury Park to check on the roofers. On the way home we buy a pie at Marie Callendar's. I spend the afternoon reading. Smokey, our cat, is on my lap every time I sit down. He won't leave me alone.

I plan to make a list for Frank to help him make calls when and if I die.

We have a chicken and rice dinner. Donna calls. She's upset that I'm not doing better.

Oh my, I hope she didn't tell Donna she was making a list for her funeral. I don't recall whether Frank used a list or Mom's address book to call friends when she died. What I do recall is that I wanted to be the one to call Donna, her best friend since childhood. I remember I tried a few times and got no answer. Finally, on the third try Donna answered the phone. She told me she and Bob had been out for a walk. It was still early in the morning, maybe 8 or 9 a.m. She said she was happy to hear from me. There was no way to break the news gently. I told her Mom had just died. We both cried. She and Bob drove down to Simi Valley from Pollock Pines the next day. Bob said Donna said nothing the whole ride down, about a 6 hour drive. Donna was the one who was diagnosed with cancer 5 years before Mom. She was treated for breast cancer in 1986. Donna beat back that nasty cancer. 27 years later she is still going strong. I just received her Christmas card and she looks great. She's 79 years old now.

Our male Boston terrier Brutus is just like Smokey. Whenever I am sitting in a chair, without being at a desk or table, he takes that as a signal to jump up in my lap and be petted.