Funeral

Tuesday January 26, 1993

Thanks to prayer I sleep well and wake up feeling well enough to get up at 7 and get ready to leave at 9:30 to go to Whittier to Uncle Phillip's funeral. We meet Phil at Gary's house in Mission Hills and he rides with us. There are lots of people at the funeral, maybe 150+. It's a lovely chapel, an open casket. Uncle Phillip looks pale. The 3 teenage grandchildren carry one side of the casket. Nice!

Afterward we go to Mike and Lori's. Their neighbors have prepared a lovely lunch. I eat very well. It all tastes real good to me. We get home about 5 p.m. I'm tired but OK. It was a good day. I loved seeing everyone.

Mom doesn't say anything here about her own funeral, which surprises me. Her journal would be the place to share her private thoughts. This will be the last funeral where Mom will be present this side of heaven, and the last time she will see many of the people attending. I'm glad she had a good day.

Daisy Didn't Bark

Saturday January 23, 1993

Awoke feeling rested and great. Daisy didn't bark and wake me up last night and I only got up once to go potty. How well I sleep definitely has an effect on how I feel.

I had a bowl of cereal and washed my hair, got cleaned up with no sweats. I frosted 48 cupcakes, went to the bank, had a Carl's chicken sandwich for lunch, ironed my clothes to wear tonight.

Karen King came at 1 p.m. and we visited while Frank showed her how to trim rose bushes. Then I rested for an hour. At 5:15 we left for Bobby McGee's in Burbank for dinner with Phil, Deb, Gary and Maria to celebrate the girl's birthdays on the 27th.

Thank you Lord for answer to prayer and a good day.

From the time I was about 8 years old we always had a dog, sometimes two dogs. In 1993 Mom and Frank had two mutts, Pumpkin, pictured on the left, and Daisy, pictured on the right, sitting for a treat from Justin. They were well-mannered dogs and Mom loved them. My current family has always had two dogs also. Right now we have male and female Boston Terriers, Brutus and Zoey. They are inside dogs so they only bark if there is a loud commotion in the house or in front of the house. Daisy and Pumpkin were outside dogs, since it is much warmer at night in Southern California than it is in Windsor. That's probably why they often barked at noises during the night. While Mom was battling cancer she tried to get outside and walk the dogs around the neighborhood. They enjoyed that.

So glad Mom had a good night's sleep. That is so important, and especially when fighting a deadly disease. Look how much energy she had! She had a very productive day, and a long one! When I have a sleepless night I am good for nothing the next day! No wonder she is thanking God.

Phil & Debby Spend Christmas in Idaho

Sunday December 20, 1992

We have a nice breakfast and I watch "Hour of Power" with Dr. Schuller. Debby comes about 12:00 with Sara. Frank puts a car carrier on her Trooper. I make lunch for all of us. Gary and Maria arrive to take Frank bike riding in Moorpark. I spend the afternoon reading.

Phil and Deb and kids will leave tomorrow for Twin Falls, Idaho to spend Christmas week with Jean and Al Gritz, Deb's folks. They plan to ski, ice skate and play in the snow. They should have a great time. Phil is working today.

Frank and gang return. They had a good ride. Later we go out for Mexican dinner. I talk to Joan Larson this evening. Her tumor did not shrink this month. That's OK. It will again.

Nothing like the encouragement from someone who's going through the same trial to lift Joan's spirits. I think that's why cancer support groups and grief support groups are so helpful. No matter how difficult her own trial, Mom always wanted to encourage others.

Mom's last entry about Frank's son Philip and his wife Debby was on February 18, 1992, 10 months earlier, when they were leaving on a weekend getaway to try to rekindle their marriage. Apparently it worked, because nothing is said here about them separating. The previous Christmas was spent apart.

Family Dinner

Sunday December 13, 1992

Prayer is answered. I awake feeling good. We're ready to go to Phil and Deb's about 10:00. We read the Sunday paper and leave about 11:00. We are first to arrive. We visit with Dee and Deb. Phil and Steve have gone to Pick up Frank's folks in L.A. They arrive about 1 p.m. Paul & Judy & Tayler arrive about 2 p.m.

We have a nice lasagna dinner about 3 p.m. We open gifts. Steve & Dee must leave early to pick up a friend at the airport from Australia. We stay until 5:30. Stop in Simi for a hamburger.

Donna and Bob arrive about 10 p.m. We talk until 12:30 a.m. I feel real good.

This is the first time I have heard of a Reina Family Reunion. It sounds like Frank's oldest son Philip and his wife Debbie hosted the early Christmas dinner in Palmdale. How nice! It must have been somewhat difficult to get everyone together as Frank's parents lived near Los Angeles Airport 70 miles away and needed a ride, and Delores (Dee), Frank's daughter, and her husband Steve, lived in San Diego, 170 miles away. For Mom and Frank to travel from Simi Valley was only 60 miles, about a one-hour drive. Frank's youngest son Paul and his wife Judy lived right there in Palmdale.

What a busy day for Mom. I am so glad she is feeling better. It sounds like Dr. Semrad was right about her tumors shrinking and the fluid in her abdomen being gone. For her to have such a long busy day and be up past midnight visiting with her best friend from Pollock Pines, she must have been feeling great. Praise God!

"Fighting Cancer"

Sunday August 23, 1992

Slept in til 8:30. Spent the rest of the day expecting Deb, Phil and kids. I straightened the house and read alot. Frank worked on the trailer and in the garage.

I'm reading a new book I received in the mail called "Fighting Cancer." It's a good uplifting informative book. According to the book I've been doing everything right so far, staying informed, asking alot of questions, getting a second opinion, but mostly having a positive attitude and talking about my cancer openly with anyone who's interested.

The kids never show up. Frank is disappointed and hurt. He calls them.

We went to Newbury Park at 8:30 to give Jan a check for our cruise September 27 to the Mediterranean.

I can't help wondering why Frank's son Philip and his family never showed up. I would be upset at being stood up after waiting all day for them. Maybe it had to do with the marital problems they were having. At least it forced Mom to take it easy and just have a restful day of reading.

I looked up the book "Fighting Cancer" and it is in it's 13th printing as of 2008. It was written by Annette and Richard (Dick) Bloch. Dick co-founded H&R Block, Inc. He was diagnosed with lung cancer in 1978 and given 90 days to live. After two years of arduous treatment, he was completely cured. Richard and Annette dedicated their lives to helping the next person diagnosed with cancer. Together, they wrote three books, "Fighting Cancer", "Cancer ...there's hope", and "Guide for Cancer Supporters". Their book is available for free on-line.

Yet another big cruise coming up, this time to the Mediterranean.

Chris' Baby Shower

Saturday June 13, 1992

Up at 7:30 to fix breakfast for Chris, Ric, Justin and Carmen. We have omelettes. I finish making the beans and get ready to leave at noon. I'm tired from too little sleep last night. We went to sleep about 1 a.m.

We arrive at Paul and Judy's about 1 p.m. Debby and Frank are there to help. Frank has brought his folks. I get very busy helping. Folks begin to arrive at 2:15 and most are there by 3:15, so we put out the food. I brought salad, beans, chips, jello salads and a high chair. Judy has deli sandwiches. There's plenty of food and a great cake.

Finally Deb brings Joey and Sara over. Strange! Good they came! Phil is working. About 30 friends and relatives are there. Chris gets many nice gifts.

We finally leave there about 7 p.m. I'm exhausted. My back aches. I have alot of abdominal pain.

I was really touched that Frank's daughter-in-law Judy (Paul's wife) wanted to give me a baby shower at their home in Palmdale, about an hour's drive from Simi Valley. She had a one-year-old daughter herself, so I'm sure it was difficult to host a party. Frank's oldest son Philip couldn't make it but his wife Debby came and brought their two children later. Many relatives I had not seen in years and haven't seen since were there. The shower was lovely. Too bad that even at 8 months pregnant I was still suffering from horrible nausea. And Mom was suffering too, both from fatigue and from abdominal pain. She didn't let it show.

I really liked Paul and Judy and thought they made a great couple. I felt sad when they split up years later.

I Could Stay In Bed All Day

Wednesday May 6, 1992

I'm tired again this morning. Have breakfast and crawl back into bed for 45 minutes. I could stay in bed all day but force myself up and into the shower at 10 a.m. My bowels are still acting up with lots of gas and pain.

Frank comes home from the rental house and we go out to lunch at The Schooner. We had won free lunch tickets. It's really a beer joint with sandwiches. I'm not comfortable there. It has no class at all: sawdust floor, pool tables and dart boards.

I do some shopping, meet with the lady making new drapes for our rental, get my nails done and go check out Frank at the rental. Got new acoustic ceilings today.

Philip calls tonight and he and Frank talk quite awhile.

Mom was demanding of those around her and she was especially demanding of herself, never allowing herself to rest or relax. I remember when she came to visit me a few days after I had given birth by C-section to my son Justin in 1981. I was in bed in my nightgown and she insisted that I get up and dressed. In her mind there seemed to be no allowances for recovery from surgery, no time to be sick, or to even just allow herself a lazy day. She always had to appear put together, hair coiffed, make-up on, no matter what. Even the night she died, she would not allow us to visit until she had her make-up on and her hair done.

Philip iIs Still National Guarding Los Angeles

Tuesday May 5, 1992

I'm tired and dragging around all day. We had homemade greasy tacos last night and I am full of gas and pain all day. My bowels are overactive. I don't feel like it but go anyway to our club board meeting at Joan and Harold's. I'm glad I did. I enjoyed seeing their house, etc.

I bought a card for Frank's cousin Frances. I wrote a note reminding her to be optimistic about her cancer. It will be hard as that family tends to be pessimistic about everything.

Philip called from the Coliseum in Los Angeles and left a message. He's still National Guarding Los Angeles. Frank was so disappointed he missed his call.

7 days after the Rodney King riots began, the National Guard is still patrolling South Central Los Angeles. Phili's unit is stationed at the Los Angeles Coliseum.

The Old Night Sweat Return

Friday December 13, 1991

Didn't sleep well. The old night sweats returned. Frank had the electric blanket cranked up and I was sweating with just a sheet.

Up at 7:00 to be ready to go to breakfast with Phillip at 8:45. He arrived at 9 a.m. so we went to Country Folks and had a great breakfast. Phil asked us to go shopping with him. He needed some clothes badly. So we did. With our help and encouragement he bought 2 pair of jeans and 6 shirts. He left very happy at 2:30. Afraid of what Deb would say, he left everything here except one outfit.

I made artichoke squares and we dressed and went to the club Christmas party. There was a good turn-out and we had a very nice time. We partied from 7:30-11p.m.

I ate too many different things and felt ill most of the night. I guess I'll never learn.

Two nights ago I had the same problem. I had a large bowl of clam chowder at 9:00 at night, having been too busy running around doing errands to eat dinner until then. At 10:30 I went to bed. 3 hours later I was awake with indigestion, burping up clam chowder. I took a Prilosec and was able to go back to sleep 1/2 hour later. Boy does that stuff work like nothing else!

What!!?? Does Philip's wife not see the bills? Perhaps he paid cash for his clothes. I check out the website for our two credit cards everyday to see what damage my husband has done today. He is a shopaholic like Mom, althought most of his purchases are made on Craigslist or at thrift stores, thank goodness. It's also a good idea to check on-line regularly to see if anyone has stolen your identity and been charging things without your knowledge. If you wait until the statement comes in the mail weeks later, alot of damage could already have been done. My bank, which is Wells Fargo, called me a few months ago to ask me if I had made some purchases on my debit card. They could see that I only use my debit card at the ATM machine, never to make purchases. I'm so glad they called immediately, because I had not made the 3 purchases. The bank immediately cancelled the card and issued a new one with a new account number to me. They did not hold me responsible for a single purchase. Good service!

Debby Wants a Separation

Friday December 6, 1991

We're up early and walk to Eggs & Things for breakfast omelette. Afterward we walk into Target and across to magazine store. Then I'm too tired to walk home. Frank walks home. I wait at Mervyn's for him. My high energy days are gone. I started back on my medication last night. I am looking forward to being off my medicine so I can feel really good again.

Phillip comes over to get the pink slip on the Rabbit. He gives us some bad but not surprising news. Debby wants him to move out. We talk and cry for hours. He's really glad he shared this with us. We are too. He will hold his ground for now. She should leave if she's unhappy. We go to the valley to pick up a petticoat for me. Stop and visit at Gledhill. Try to connect with Gary and Maria. Come home to eat at China Palace. Pick up a movie and come home to watch it.

Ouch, this hits home for me. My first husband told me he wanted a divorce in 1984. I waited and waited until a year went by, and he never moved out. It was a very tense year under the same roof. Finally I found a condo to buy, John bought out my share of the house, and I moved out. Would things have been different if I had not moved out? Did our 4-year-old son feel like I had abandoned him since I was the one to move? At first it was fun for him to have 2 houses to live in but after a few months it got old. He wanted me to move back home, and that's when I had to tell him I would not be moving back.

I'm glad Phillip was able to talk to Mom and Frank. Whose idea was it to "hold his ground"?

I can't believe Mom's doctor put her back on the same medication that destroyed her intestines!

Philip and Debbie

Monday July 22, 1991

Up and off to Kaiser for blood test. For the first time my white blood cell count is low. It is 12 days since my chemo. She had told us the danger period was day 7-10. Not to worry. I should just avoid people who are sick.

After Kaiser we head to Palmdale to visit with Philip, Debbie, Joey and Sara. Phil must leave for work a couple of hours after we arrive. Deb gets home from work at 2 p.m.

Sara wants lots of love and touching. She loves the white lace outfit we give her for her birthday. Joey wants attention too. He's really interested in war and army stuff. He is reading the Marine manual and knows all the details about guns, etc. I'm worried.

We get home in time to go square dancing in North Hollywood.

Philip is Frank's oldest, who is a few years younger than me. 2 years behind Philip is Frank's son Paul, who mom and Frank visited 3 days earlier to see their new baby Taylor and his wife Judy, and finally Frank's youngest is his daughter Dolores, who was married to Steve in 1986. The photo above is taken at Dolores' wedding with their son Joey, who is 5 years old here. Sara has not yet born in 1986.

Not to worry mom, Joey never did go into the military and he is healthy and safe. My son Derek is really into guns too and he plays "airsoft" with his friends several times each week, where battles are staged and they shoot plastic bee bees at each other, but he has no desire to join the military.