Donna & Bob Arrive

Tuesday December 29, 1992

I decide to spend the day in bed and maybe I'll feel better tomorrow. I feel much better laying down in bed, but no better when I get up.

Donna & Bob arrive about 7 p.m. I struggle to get up and be sociable. It's not easy. We open Christmas gifts. About 10:30 I must go to bed. Everyone is tired so no problem.

This photo of Mom's best friend Donna and Donna's husband Bob was taken at Christmas 2012, 20 years after Mom's post. Donna was diagnosed with breast cancer several years before Mom had cancer, and Bob had a bout with prostate cancer a few years ago, but they are both doing well as they approach their 80th birthday. Bob loves to restore old cars and they live in a charming Victorian house with wraparound porch in Pollock Pines, California, in the Sierra Nevada Mountains.

Mom loved Donna so much but I don't think she shared her fear and anxiety with her either, preferring to put on a brave face. I'll bet she concealed her pain very well for the 3 hours she had to force herself out of bed to be sociable.

436 Miles

Sunday December 27, 1992

I have another slow morning. Chris calls at 10 a.m. to say they just arrived at Gary's. They drove all night. I tell her to take a nap and we'll arrive about 2:00.

We take spaghetti sauce, pasta, bread, salad and ice cream for dinner.

My prayers are answered that Chris and Ric arrive safely. There was alot of bad fog predicted.

We open gifts. The dinner at 5:30 is a big hit. Afterwards, I feel pretty bad and lay on the couch til we go home about 8:00. My chest and back hurt alot.

Wow, I can't believe we drove all night. It's 436 miles from Windsor to Simi Valley, California. I couldn't do that today. I need my 8 hours sleep or I am a wreck. I couldn't have been very good company, even in 1992, with no sleep or very little sleep. In the winter there is very often dense fog in the central valley of California down Interstate 5, which we would have taken from the San Francisco Bay Area to Simi Valley. I don't even like to drive in the dark, much less thick fog. Nowadays when we visit my brother in Simi Valley we usually break up the trip into 2 days, and we almost always travel during daylight hours.

Mom was usually so sociable and talkative. I feel sad that she is exhausted and in pain. Perhaps realization is finally setting in that this might be her last Christmas?

Christmas Dinner

Friday December 25, 1992
Christmas Day

We sleep in and about 2:00 we go to Gary and Maria's to open gifts. We have a lovely time. Gary and Maria fix a lovely turkey dinner.

Maria had to go to Kaiser this morning to be checked to see if the test says she has TB. Luckily she does not. I was worried.

Mother poops out after dinner on the couch. I don't feel too well myself. I lay down on a couch too. I'm cold and I bundle up under a blanket. We go home about 8 p.m. Frank had taken mother home about 7:00.

Thank you Gary and Maria for stepping up to host Christmas dinner. For as long as I can remember Mom always hosted Christmas dinner, but her cancer and the chemotherapy were robbing her energy. This would be Mom's last Christmas this side of Heaven.

Justin's Dad John and I shared custody of Justin and this was John's year to have Justin for Christmas, so we would not be driving down to visit my family for a couple more days.

Strange that Maria had to go to Kaiser on Christmas Day to be checked for TB. Couldn't it wait until December 26?

Bringing Home Mother for Christmas

Wednesday December 23, 1992

Up at 6:45 to get ready to leave at 8:30 for doctor. Don't feel real well. I kinda ache all over. At the doctor I have my blood work done, then pick up supply of drugs. I talk to 2 other younger women who also have the pump. One has a spot on her lung. She had cervical cancer. The other has recurrent ovarian cancer. She was clean for 10 months. It's very nice to find someone to talk to.

By 10:30 we're on our way to Mother's to pick her up to bring her home for the holidays. After we pick her up we stop at Hadley's and Kaiser in Fontana to see her doctor. We stop for dinner and reach home about 8:00. I feel fine.

That's a long drive from Simi Valley to Desert Hot Springs (north of Palm Springs) to pick up Grandma Helen. It's 5 hours round trip. So thoughtful of Mom and Frank to include her in the holiday gathering. Grandma Helen is pictured above with Mom, brother Gary and I on Christmas Day 1988.

It would have been great for Mom to have joined a cancer survivor group. I think she could have benefited from talking to other women going through the same thing, and I know she would have been an encouragement to many other women. A woman at my church lead a cancer survivor group for 5 years until she passed away a few months ago. There is nothing quite as encouraging as to have the support and prayers of others on the same journey. For some reason Mom had no interest in joining a cancer group. I think she preferred to live in denial, and joining such a group would mean admitting that the disease was in her body.

Ventura Marina Cruise

Friday December 18, 1992

One week until Christmas. We sleep in until 9 a.m. after making love. We have a nice breakfast, call Kathy Murphy and arrange to meet for dinner here in Simi before the boat ride in Ventura Marina. Later I call Karen and Lew. We will all meet at Marie Callendar's.

Marty and Kathy ride with us. We have a great dinner. We arrive at Ventura Marina about 7:30. The boat leaves at 8 p.m. It's a fun cruise--pretty lights. After snacks on the boat and drinks we are cold so decide to go to a coffee shop for coffee and pie. Brenda and Denny make it 8 of us.

I feel great! We get home about 12:00. Marty and Kathy stay awhile looking at pictures.

How nice to be able to take a cruise in the middle of December at night! It does sound like everyone got a little cold though. What a nice way to celebrate the holidays with friends. I checked back in her journal to 1991 and their square dancing friends took this cruise the previous year as well.

Family Dinner

Sunday December 13, 1992

Prayer is answered. I awake feeling good. We're ready to go to Phil and Deb's about 10:00. We read the Sunday paper and leave about 11:00. We are first to arrive. We visit with Dee and Deb. Phil and Steve have gone to Pick up Frank's folks in L.A. They arrive about 1 p.m. Paul & Judy & Tayler arrive about 2 p.m.

We have a nice lasagna dinner about 3 p.m. We open gifts. Steve & Dee must leave early to pick up a friend at the airport from Australia. We stay until 5:30. Stop in Simi for a hamburger.

Donna and Bob arrive about 10 p.m. We talk until 12:30 a.m. I feel real good.

This is the first time I have heard of a Reina Family Reunion. It sounds like Frank's oldest son Philip and his wife Debbie hosted the early Christmas dinner in Palmdale. How nice! It must have been somewhat difficult to get everyone together as Frank's parents lived near Los Angeles Airport 70 miles away and needed a ride, and Delores (Dee), Frank's daughter, and her husband Steve, lived in San Diego, 170 miles away. For Mom and Frank to travel from Simi Valley was only 60 miles, about a one-hour drive. Frank's youngest son Paul and his wife Judy lived right there in Palmdale.

What a busy day for Mom. I am so glad she is feeling better. It sounds like Dr. Semrad was right about her tumors shrinking and the fluid in her abdomen being gone. For her to have such a long busy day and be up past midnight visiting with her best friend from Pollock Pines, she must have been feeling great. Praise God!

Scribble

Friday December 11, 1992

Up at 8:00. Feeling good. Have french toast for breakfast. Decide to take my other anti-nausea medicine. I take it all day and feel better. I eat but still not much at once. So I try to eat often. I work on the Christmas cards. I hate doing it because my handwriting has gone to pot. I don't know why. It's such a scribble. I can hardly read it myself.

I feel well enough to go to the Christmas potluck party for our club. But when I go up to get ready I have a sweat attack. I try everything but it won't go away. We arrive at the party still sweating. So embarrassing! Good to see old friends. We stay about 1-1/2 hours. I'm tired. Must go home. Did eat some.

So glad to see that Mom's doctor gave her some anti-nausea medication, and that she has decided to take it frequently. Also, eating small frequent meals and drinking plenty of fluids is a good way to manage the nausea.

As for her handwriting, it does seem to be a little less flowing, but otherwise it is perfectly readable, not a scribble at all.

According to Web MD, fatigue and nausea are the most common side effects of chemotherapy along with neuropathy (numbness or tingling in the fingers and toes). It also states "Although chemotherapy affects every woman differently, overall it's a much better experience than it was a couple of decades ago because now doctors have more drugs available to relieve or even prevent side effects."

Mother Arrives for Christmas

Thursday December 19, 1991

This is grocery shopping day. I'm full of energy, thank goodness. I buy $200 in groceries at 2 markets.

Mother arrives about 2 p.m. from Gene & Cathy's. Frank is still very busy finishing his Christmas projects he has made. Mother seems good. She hangs out in the garage to watch Frank for awhile.

$200 in groceries! In 1991 that's alot of money. Hosting a family reunion is not only a big effort, but also a big expense!

The photo above was taken 3 years earlier at Christmas. From the left are Mom, myself, Gary, and Grandma Helen.

The Old Night Sweat Return

Friday December 13, 1991

Didn't sleep well. The old night sweats returned. Frank had the electric blanket cranked up and I was sweating with just a sheet.

Up at 7:00 to be ready to go to breakfast with Phillip at 8:45. He arrived at 9 a.m. so we went to Country Folks and had a great breakfast. Phil asked us to go shopping with him. He needed some clothes badly. So we did. With our help and encouragement he bought 2 pair of jeans and 6 shirts. He left very happy at 2:30. Afraid of what Deb would say, he left everything here except one outfit.

I made artichoke squares and we dressed and went to the club Christmas party. There was a good turn-out and we had a very nice time. We partied from 7:30-11p.m.

I ate too many different things and felt ill most of the night. I guess I'll never learn.

Two nights ago I had the same problem. I had a large bowl of clam chowder at 9:00 at night, having been too busy running around doing errands to eat dinner until then. At 10:30 I went to bed. 3 hours later I was awake with indigestion, burping up clam chowder. I took a Prilosec and was able to go back to sleep 1/2 hour later. Boy does that stuff work like nothing else!

What!!?? Does Philip's wife not see the bills? Perhaps he paid cash for his clothes. I check out the website for our two credit cards everyday to see what damage my husband has done today. He is a shopaholic like Mom, althought most of his purchases are made on Craigslist or at thrift stores, thank goodness. It's also a good idea to check on-line regularly to see if anyone has stolen your identity and been charging things without your knowledge. If you wait until the statement comes in the mail weeks later, alot of damage could already have been done. My bank, which is Wells Fargo, called me a few months ago to ask me if I had made some purchases on my debit card. They could see that I only use my debit card at the ATM machine, never to make purchases. I'm so glad they called immediately, because I had not made the 3 purchases. The bank immediately cancelled the card and issued a new one with a new account number to me. They did not hold me responsible for a single purchase. Good service!

We Are Angels

Monday December 9, 1991

Had my nails done in the a.m. We decorated our Christmas tree the rest of the day. It's a big job but the house and tree look wonderful when it is done.

In the evening we go square dancing where we are angels to help Marty & Kathy and Robbie & Dolores learn. We have a good time and go to Hudson's Grill afterwards.

Angels are the wonderful people who introduce square dancing to others, bring others to square dance classes, and help the caller or teacher by filling the squares so that all class members may dance. Mom and Frank enjoyed sharing their passion with their friends. It was great exercise and certainly a great way to make many friends.

Decorating for Christmas

Saturday December 7, 1991

Lazy day. Up at 8:45 a.m. Brought in our Christmas tree. Frank put the lights on it. I began to decorate the house as I dusted.

Marty and Kathy want us to go to dinner, but we have eaten out too much lately. They come here to dress and we all go to the Fun Dance.

After the dance we go to someone's house for snacks and drink.

After the last few days of posts I was thinking the same thing: Mom and Frank go out to dinner almost every night, and they often go out to breakfast too. Besides the extra calories, they are spending lots of money on extravagant meals.

While Mom and Frank's Christmas tree never looked quite like the one pictured above, she always did love Christmas even when I was a little girl. We had an old trunk that was kept in the rafters of the garage. Every year we would get down the old trunk about the first week of December and gingerly open the lid so as not to break it. Inside were ornaments, tinsel, lights, and strands of garland. In the 50s we had a natural tree, but in the 60s I remember the fake white-flocked Christmas tree with red ornaments that we put together and set in the corner next to the decorative block wall between our living room and kitchen. A spotlight shone on the tree with a turning disc that changed the tree from green to yellow to blue to red. It was oh so modernistic at the time. We also had a decorative indoor manzanita tree for a few years that we decorated with ornaments. Mom loved holidays, and especially Christmas!