Good Day. Sleepless Night.

Monday, February 22, 1993

Up and feeling great. I feel good all day. I do the wash and we go to lunch at Millie's. I have a BBQ ham sandwich. Later, I give Frank a perm.

We're still full from lunch when dinnertime arrives, so we go to the square dance without eating. I enjoy the dance. I feel real good. We get home at 9:45 and I eat some rice and a tangerine. Bedtime 11:15. I'm wide awake and real full. I can't sleep. I take Unisom--no luck. I go down and read at 3 a.m. I fall asleep about 5 a.m.

A good day.

Wow, a sleepless night doesn't sound like a good day to me. I've been taking Tylenol PM every night and I sleep like a baby. I never tried Unisom.

Today is a Milestone

Today I start publishing the entries from Mom's final journal (Book 6). Coincidentally the stats on my blog also show I just passed a milestone with my blog. I have just passed 25,000 hits. Thank you to my faithful viewers for hanging in there with me on this journey. Please feel free to post comments here. It's always nice to get feedback.

Tuesday January 12, 1993

Didn't sleep well at all. Don't feel well when I get up at 7:00 but feel I must go to the driving class for the second day. By 9 I'm ready to go. I'm really tired, but make it through the 3-hour class. We go to Coco's for lunch. I enjoy fish and chips. At home I rest and try to take a nap.

Frank goes to Gary's to turn on the heat and make popcorn for Joe and Junior and 4 of their friends.

At 2 p.m. I go to Fantastic Sam's to get a perm. They say my hair is damaged and could not have a perm. They cut and conditioned it.

Not hungry for dinner, we go to Gary's with Junior's birthday present. Frank has cake and ice cream with Gary. We come home after 1-1/2 hours. I'm tired and go to bed at 9:45.

It's no wonder Mom's hair is damaged from all the chemo drugs running through her veins and hair follicles. Surprisingly she has not lost any of her hair yet.

We Decline A Dinner Invitation with Marty & Kathy

Saturday November 14, 1992

Awoke tired. Finally arose at 9:30. Not hungry. Decided to give Frank a perm right away. I get cleaned up and we change the medication in my pump. It's 1:30. I spend hours sifting through the old mail. I'm so tired. No energy. We decline an invitation to go out to dinner with Marty and Kathy. About 5:30 we eat some leftover spaghetti and settle in for the evening.

Mother called today. She sounded so alert. We talked about an hour.

The laxative works very well. My stomach feels better.

This is the first time I can remember Mom turning down a dinner invitation, although she has missed a few square dances so far. It seemed like being around people always lifted her spirits and gave her a burst of energy. At least the laxative is helping her digestion in spite of the pressure of the tumors on her intestines.

Dinner At Tony Roma's

Sunday September 20, 1992

Up at 8:00. We stayed up late watching Miss America contest on TV. We take our walk, then eat breakfast. The walk makes me really tired and yucky for awhile. After breakfast Frank helps me with a home perm. Cathy Thomas calls. They will come over about 4 p.m. today. We'll go out to dinner. We hurry to get the house in order.

The tenants from Newbury Park come over to tell us they are moving out October 1. Good news cause they're behind in rent. Bad news cause we have to deal with renting it.

Gene and Cathy arrive at 5:00. We have a nice visit on the patio to enjoy our lovely yard. At 7:00 we go to dinner at Tony Roma's. We have a leisurely dinner and return home about 10.

Tony Roma's, I haven't been there for years. They are known for their baby back ribs. Uncle Gene is Mom's brother. He and Cathy have lived in Pasadena for many years. I'm so glad that Mom stayed close with her brother Gene and Aunt Cathy during her battle with cancer. They are very special people. Aunt Cathy took on the role of mother to me after Mom passed away. They are in their mid 80s now, but still in pretty good health.

I was surprised that Mom wanted to have a home perm right after she complained about feeling yucky. Smelling that horrible ammonia smell of permanent solution makes me feel yucky just thinking about it. I can't help wondering if getting a permanent every 6 weeks for most of her life contributed to Mom's cancer. Lots of nasty chemicals in that solution!

I know how Mom feels about her tenants giving notice. We have a tenant who is constantly a month behind in their rent, but they do pay every month. They are very nice people and take good care of the house, so we hate to evict them because that will mean lots of work for us, and possibly tenants who are not as good as the ones we already have.

I Feel Light-Headed Today

Wednesday September 16, 1992

Frank gets up at 7:30. I get up at 8:00, dress and off we go to breakfast at Eggs & Things. I feel light-headed. When we get home I lay down for an hour. I feel better and get cleaned up. It's noon when I come down.

I give Frank a perm. I feel fine now. I took Tylenol on an empty stomach this morning when I got up. Maybe that's what made me light-headed.

We skip lunch. I'm worried about feeling good on our cruise. We have alot of money tied up in excursions in each port. I have to feel good almost every day at 6:30 a.m.

We have a light dinner and a quiet evening.

I usually feel nauseous whenever I take pills on an empty stomach, but never light-headed. Giving Frank a perm would definitely make my stomach queasy. The ammonia smell is horrible. Mom always gave Frank a perm every couple of months, and she taught him how to give her one as well. She loved to give me perms even when I was a toddler. I have always had baby-fine hair that is stick-straight. The perms gave me a nice curl and some body, but Mom was not gentle when she gave a perm. She always pulled too hard. I imagine that is part of the reason that Frank is now bald!

Now I'm Sick From the Codeine

Friday March 27, 1992

Awake at 4:15 a.m. aching all over. Unable to get back to sleep I take 2 Tylenol. Fifteen minutes later still awake, I decide to take a teaspoon of cough medicine with codeine. I rest with less pain but not deep sleep. At 6:45 I get up, dress and go downstairs. I am light-headed so eat some oatmeal and orange juice. Now I'm nauseous too. I remain too sick to get off the couch until noon. I am sick from the codeine. I forgot codeine makes me very ill. I manage to eat a good lunch but remain weak and light-headed.

At 3 p.m. Frank gives me a perm though I still feel awful. About 5 p.m. I feel well enough to sit and pay the bills.

God answered my prayer. My cold is gone when I wake up. The cough lingers.

Mom calls to say Frank's Uncle Ricky died this morning at 3:30. I'm so sorry.

I just hate that feeling of being sick and exhausted, and just when I need sleep the most, it eludes me, usually because of a nagging cough. Too bad the codeine made Mom feel even worse. Smelling perm solution for an hour or so while fighting off nausea sounds like a losing battle. Why did she decide to do it today?

The Perm

Thursday June 27, 1991

Up early and off for a walk to Sav-On to buy a perm. At home Frank helps me by putting on the solutions and rinsing the curlers. He's always been great about helping me color and perm my hair. He doesn't mind carrying my purse for me when I'm tired even in a crowd. He's always looking after me--sometimes too much. He can be stubborn and obstinate at times but he is really the husband most women dream of. Why God sent him to me I don't know. I'm so lucky. If life gets tough I know he'll be there for me to do whatever is needed. I tell him often how lucky I think I am to have him. I try very hard to be the good wife he deserves.

We work hard all day packing for our trip but manage to finish in time to go square dancing. We take Judy and Dave Dowd. Many friends are there in Reseda.

Mom could have been a hair stylist. She loved having a little girl so she curl my hair and style it. Even in the photo taken in 1957 on my main page, I have a perm at the age of 4. I always hated getting them because the solution was stinky and she pulled my hair tightly around the rollers until it hurt. Mom gave Frank perms too and he helped her with hers. He was a very caring husband to Mom. I am amused by the idea of him carrying her purse in public. My husband would not be caught dead carrying my purse, no matter how tired I was.