Joan Larson

Sunday February 21, 1993

I took pain pills every 4 hours all night. I don't feel too well when I get up at 9. I eat some yogurt. I go back to bed about 11 for awhile. I call Joan Larson. She has bad news. She now has 5 tumors and has decided to accept her death in about a year. Her other options were surgery to cut off blood supply to the tumors or AZT. Both had terrible side effects. We talk a long time. I understand. She's worried about Hal. He seems to be mentally slipping.

I'm finally up and dressed by 2:30. John March calls me from Arizona. We talk a long time. I read awhile and take a nap.

At dinner I feel awful. I turn off the pump. Later I eat more of last night's egg fu yung.

Joan Larson was our neighbor across the street from the Lemona Avenue house where I grew up in Mission Hills. She died of colon cancer a few months after Mom passed away. After Mom's death she phoned me to tell me how much she appreciated Mom's support and understanding as they battled their cancer together. I didn't know that AZT was ever used to treat cancer so I did a little research on Wikipedia. Today it is used for treatment of AIDS, with little mention of it being a cancer drug. According to Wikipedia, "AZT is the first U.S. government-approved treatment for HIV, marketed under the brand name Retrovir. AZT was the first breakthrough in AIDS therapy, significantly reducing the replication of the virus in patients and leading to clinical and immunologic improvements...Early long-term higher-dose therapy with AZT was initially associated with side effects that sometimes limited therapy, including anemia, neutropenia, hepatotoxicity, cardiomyopathy, and myopathy. All of these conditions were generally found to be reversible upon reduction of AZT dosages."

So Many Great Memories

Thursday May 7, 1992

Up feeling a wee bit better but my belly is still tender with lots of gas. Frank and I have lunch at Carl's Jr. He gives me a list and I'm off to 1000 Oaks to buy tile for the bathrooms of the rental house. I'm not able to get everything I need so off to Van Nuys for the rest. I would love to stop and see Joan but am pressed for time. I do some shopping and make a great meatloaf dinner.

We relax at home tonight. I call Joan Larson. We have a good talk. She wants to get together and hold hands and talk about how lucky we are even though we have cancer. I agree! We are very lucky. We have had really great lives. So many great memories.

One of the reasons I enjoy publishing this blog is that it stirs up memories. I have great memories too, just like Mom and Joan. My life growing up in the Lemona house (pictured above) which was across the street from Joan and Hal Larson was of a simpler time, where we would play outside with our friends, ride bikes, roller skate, play handball against the garage door, play hide-and-go-seek or play a board game. We didn't have much money for stuff. We couldn't afford a Barbie doll or many toys, but I did love to read and Mom took Gary and I to the library to check out 10 books every week. We dug a fort in the backyard one summer, and climbed the huge birch tree in our front yard. I spent most summers swimming next door in the Gangl's pool, and once a week Mom and her friend Donna would load up the kids in our Pontiac station wagon and take us to Santa Monica Beach where we swam in the surf and went body-surfing. We got sunburned and came home covered in sand. I enjoy reading about Mom's childhood which was much poorer than mine. In the summertime we also spent a week camping at Leo Carrillo Beach in Ventura County, while our dads stayed home and worked. On the weekend they joined us at the campground.

My boys have a much different childhood with every electronic gadget, hundreds of video games, and access to any movie they want to watch. There is very little playing outside with friends. I hope when they look back on their childhood it with fond memories. We have tried to give them adventures as they have grown, camping, boating, jetskiing, riding ATVs in the sand dunes or the mountains, and travels all over Canada and the United States, including Alaska.

Refinancing Real Estate

Tuesday January 14, 1992

We're up but both feeling tired and run down all day. At 10 a.m. we meet John of Aras Mortgage in Reseda to refinance Gledhill and pay off Lemona and SanWa Bank (trailer) That goes well. We go to Van Nuys, have car washed and eat a Tommy's hamburger. Finally home after some shopping we relax, have dinner and leave for 7 p.m. class in North Hollywood for country western dancing. It's fun. Afterward we all go to Baker Square for dessert.

I'm desperate to lose 40 pounds, but keep giving in to temptation. No will power. I hate the way I look. I really need to lose alot before our cruise April 5 to Carribean.

Being more overweight than Mom, I'm not the best person to judge her eating habits, but I know for myself, eating out always causes me to consume more calories in general than eating at home. As I have said in earlier posts, I notice that Mom and Frank eat out on average two times per day, so besides the added expense, they are probably consuming more calories than they would eating at home. Frank has never had a weight problem at all, but Mom (and I) battled her weight since her 30s. I'm sure they are burning calories on the nights they go square dancing, but then they put them right back on when they go to Hudson's Grill, or some other restaurant, afterwards with their friends.

Interesting that this night they went country western dancing instead of square dancing. As far as I know this is the first time they have tried country western.

I'm not sure why Mom wanted to refinance the mortgages on her two rental houses. Perhaps is was some kind of estate planning. Perhaps she thought interest rates were down and it was a good time. As you can see from the interest rate chart above, mortgage interest rates in 1992 were just above 8%. Since this was a rental house, she may have gotten a mortgage rate around 8.5% Since Mom did not have a crystal ball, she didn't know that interest rates would continue to drop from the high rates of the early 1980s.

Joe's Birthday Party

Sunday November 17, 1991

We have a nice scrambled egg and toast breakfast for a change of pace from cereal. I have a hard time getting going this morning. I'm really tired from dancing so hard last night. I don't ever remember dancing so hard but we really had a wonderful time.

By 12:30 we're off to Joseph's birthday party in L.A. Gary makes hot dogs and hamburgers. We enjoy the food and cake. Joe likes the sweats we give him. We enjoy everyone.

We stop at Lemona house on the way home to install another smoke alarm. Mona and Kirt are there babysitting. Mona can't stop thanking me for renting the house to Laura and Terry. There is too much furniture in the living room.

Joe is Mom's step-grandson who was adopted by my brother at a very young age. He is pictured above standing in the front row in front of his older brother Gabe in 1989. My son Justin stands in front of Mom. My sister-in-law Maria had Joe and Gabe from a previous marriage. She and my brother Gary had two more boys (twins) in 1996, so they raised a total of 4 boys. Gary and Maria had to wait to be grandparents to get a girl. They now have 3 granddaughters and 1 grandson.

The birthday party was in downtown Los Angeles at Maria's dad's house, where he and his wife raised 9 children in a small 2 bedroom house. Their family is very close and there is always some kind of celebration to attend at the Los Angeles house with so many birthdays and holidays.

Chris is Pregnant

Thursday November 7, 1991

Another poor night makes another slow morning. A ginseng helps. By 11 a.m. we are off and running for a day of errands. We do alot of banking, stop at Lemona, where I leave a note and bottle of sparkling cider to welcome our new tenants. I hope they stay for years and years, happily.

We stop to visit Gary and Maria. Then on to Sears to check out washers and dryers for mother.

We get home about 9 p.m. Chris calls. She worried because we're out so late. She tells me she just found out today she's pregnant. Baby should be born in July. I have alot of concern but I don't tell her. Her 38 age and overweight plus her general health concern me. I only tell her how happy I am and I am. Hope it's a healthy girl!

After another sleepless night, Mom is running around all day and into the late hours of the evening. No wonder I was worried. Yes, that baby (Derek) was indeed born on July 14, 1992, one day after his due date, and after 36 hours of labor and a C-section. Mom was right to be concerned. The pregnancy was difficult. The nausea began that very day, but didn't last just during the morning. It lasted 24 hours/day for 9 months, to the point where I could not work or even get out of bed, the longest 9 months of my life. A granddaughter was not to be. Mom and I were so close that even though I was already 38 years old and had one son, I longed to have a daughter to have the same kind of close relationship Mom and I shared. I tried 3 times, and gave birth to 3 boys. By the time Ryan was born I was 42 years old, too old to try again. When he graduates from high school in 2 years, I will be 60. Most of his friends have grandparents my age. It's not easy to raise teenagers at this age!

Driving for the First Time

Sunday November 3, 1991

Frank is off to Lemona one last time. He'll paint 2 more bedrooms. He wouldn't do it for anyone but Laura. She's so sweet. Makes us want to do more to make the house more perfect than it already is.

Jennifer and Ron are coming today to spend the night. They are delivering a CHP trailer to Riverside tomorrow. I must straighten the house up some.

I probably overdid it cleaning bathrooms, vacuuming, etc. I go marketing alone. Big Deal: driving for the first time.

We fix pot roast. Jennifer and Ron arrive about 9 p.m. We have a nice visit and go to bed late. I'm feeling fine but tired.

Jennifer is the youngest daughter of Mom's best friend Donna. She lives near Placerville in Northern California so had a long drive to get to Riverside in Southern California.

It is kind of a big deal to drive by herself for the first time. Having a sense of power and independence is important.

As for Frank wanting to paint two bedrooms to please their new tenant, I can totally relate. I held several different jobs during my 33 year career with Pacific Gas & Electric, but the one I held for the last 12 was the best one by far, not because I made any more money or had better benefits, because I did not. It was because the group of 13 guys I worked with made me feel appreciated, and I wanted to do my best for them. My boss Pat was easy-going and friendly, and made me feel like his equal, not just a lowly payroll clerk. Above all, he appreciated me. I had the opportunity to take other jobs that paid more money, but I turned them down. Even though I retired 4 years ago, Pat still takes me out for a birthday lunch every April and invites me to their Christmas breakfast.

A Tenant for Lemona House

Wednesday, October 30, 1991

We have another lovely day. I am excited about seeing Laura again. I remember her about 12 years of age. She's 32 now. Laura arrives on time at Lemona with her boyfriend Terry, son Josh and baby Megan. They are lovely. We like them right away and they love the house. Laura's stepbrother Mike still lives in the house down the street. They want the house and fill out an application.

We join our friends for dinner in 1000 Oaks for Japanese food. It's great fun.

I toss and turn all night worrying that Laura and Terry cannot really afford the house.

That is the problem with doing business with friends: it can ruin the friendship when things go badly. Mom is already having doubts about renting to a friend who may not be able to afford the house. Interesting that Laura's stepbrother still lives in the house 4 doors down 20 years later. I think I read in California most people move every 5-7 years.

Is This God's Divine Intervention?

Tuesday, October 29, 1991

We decide to rent Lemona to two Hispanic couples with one baby. They are young and very nice. Their credit is OK. We are negotiating when they will move in. They must move on November 20. We are telling everyone who calls "the house is rented".

My incision hole is suddenly much smaller. My incision still feels like it is pulling and is uncomfortable late in the day. Lying down relieves it.

We had a great lunch at a new BBQ place called Mavericks. We are trying to eat no sugar this week. Not an easy task!

In the evening the phone rings and when Franks says it is rented I say "Take their number!" He hands me the phone and it turns out to be Laura Persons, Gary and Maria's friend. Laura grew up 4 doors down on Lemona. Maria knows her from work. Laura works downtown. We decide to show her the house tomorrow night. Is this God's divine intervention?

Wow, after all those months with the house sitting empty, Mom and Frank must have been desperate to rent it. What was it that made mom say "take their number"? Was God tapping her on the shoulder? What are the chances that someone would call on their ad who lived in our neighborhood back in the 60s? Laura and her brother Tom were good friends with my brother Gary. Can't wait to see if this works out! Remember, I am reading this for the first time too.

Prayers

Sunday October 27, 1991

I slept 10 hours very soundly. Up and ready for another day at Lemona. Interesting groups looking at the house. We decide we will pick someone from the applications we have.

I'm feeling pretty good. I lay down on the floor for a half hour to rest the pull on my incision. Other than that I'm operating pretty normal.

I prayed alot this morning, asking God to heal my incision hole and my incision in general. I also asked God to send us someone we could feel comfy with renting to today. And of course I asked him to dissolve my cancers and heal me.

Most of us pray for our health and our families health and happiness. Those are God's departments, mostly out of our control. I am touched though that mom asked God to bring them a good tenant. Mom and Frank had 4 rental houses; Ric and I have 9, so I can really relate to her rental woes. Sometimes I think being a landlord is "my job" not God's, but the truth is God is in charge of everything. I often pray for my tenants finances so they can pay their rent, and for God to bring us a good tenant when a house is vacant. I'm glad to know mom did too.

Gary's Birthday

Saturday October 26, 1991

Gary's Birthday.

Tried to call Gary but I guess they went camping. I hope it's not raining there like it is here.

We spend 12-5 at Lemona Open House. Some interested, but not what we're looking for. I guess we'll decide from what we do have next week. We are very tired of spending our weekends at Lemona. It rains all day. We go by Gary's on the way home. No one there.

In Simi we go to dinner at the Sizzler and eat alot. The diet must start Monday. We pick up a movie "King Ralph". At home I am whipped. I last til 9 and cannot stay awake.

My incision feels strained all the time. It feels weak and my hole is not getting smaller, or so it seems. I still don't know when chemo will start.

Yikes, still trying to rent the Lemona house! It has been empty for months and months. They are losing so much money with it sitting vacant, as well as their time spent showing it. Time to pick a tenant. It was a good neighborhood with many young families when we moved in in 1954 (I was 1), but 40 years later, the neighborhood is older and less desirable, and I would imagine less owner-occupied homes. My brother Gary is 35 years old this day. The photo above was taken June 21, 2011 at Justin's wedding, almost 20 years later.

Donna & Bob Visit

I'm up and making bacon and eggs for everyone at 8:30. We visit with Donna & Bob til 11:00 when they leave to visit Bob's sons. I decide to spend the day at Lemona with Frank. We leave at 11:30. Feeling good at Lemona we have 3-4 families come through. I rest alot on a lounge chair.

We leave at 4:30 and stop at Gary's to eat dinner of leftovers. We have a nice 1-hour visit and head home where we relax til Bob and Donna come home about 8:30. We visit til 11:15 and hit the hay.

Mom seems to have quite a bit of energy considering she had major surgery less than 2 weeks ago. How frustrating to have the Lemona house sit vacant all those months. After all the back-breaking work Frank put into it, I'm sure they wanted to be careful with their choice of a new tenant.

Gary's Birthday Party

Saturday October 19, 1991

Donna and Bob arrive at 9:30. Frank and Bob go to Thousand Oaks to deliver the trailer they pulled down. Donna talks to Mark and watches me do my makeup.

Frank leaves for Lemona house for 12-5 open house. Bob and Donna go out to get us Cupid's hot dogs. We will go to Lemona house at 3:30 and then all go to Gary's about 4:30-5 p.m. for the party to celebrate his birthday. The party is fun and lots of kits and food. We stay from 5-8. I feel fine except both of my blisters break and look awful. They are dime size.

Mom and Frank had a huge master bathroom that was bigger than many normal sized bedrooms. It had a large corner soaking tub with large windows surrounding it. Mom spent half an hour every morning applying her makeup and styling her hair at the vanity next to this tub. I would sit on the corner of the tub while she worked at making herself beautiful and we would talk. These were some of my best memories of her. I'm sure it was the same for Donna.

Recovering at Home

Sunday October 13, 1991

Frank fixes us breakfast and brings mine upstairs to me. He leaves for Lemona and Gary's house to mow and water. Maria sends home cheesecake for us. Gary is painting his living room so will come to visit me in a day or so.

I spend a lazy morning upstairs in bed with the TV. I am going to really stay off my feet today. Maybe that will help my vaginal bleeding. The doctor had given me Emprin Codeine to take for the pain but I don't really need it except at bedtime.

Frank is home by lunch. He spends the afternoon working in the yard. I relax in my chair.

Knowing Mom, I am sure she was antsy to get moving. She was not much of a TV watcher except that she did start her morning watching Regis (Philbin) and Cathy Lee (Gifford) every day.

Last Chance to Make Love

Saturday October 5, 1991

I wake Frank to make love. Maybe the last time for awhile. I wonder how long? When will I be allowed and will it hurt? I will miss my cervix. I like having it bumped. I am at peace with my impending surgery as long as I don't think about it. So I don't think about it much. When I do I feel a panic in my chest for a second.

We spend the afternoon at Lemona Open House. Three or four families come by. Nothing happens. We are home by 5:30 and I start dinner. We are going to the first square dance Fun Dance for the class people. Frank forgets about the dance and drinks a scotch, then worries that someone might smell it. No chance after our big dinner.

We have a good time dancing with Robbie and Delores.

Of course Mom is getting more and more anxious about her surgery. Sometimes, though, the more you try NOT to think about something, the more you think about it. I'm glad she got to go square dancing this night, but I'm wondering why Frank was worried about having a drink. Are the members of their club not allowed to drink alcohol before or during a dance? As for the scotch, perhaps Frank was trying to calm his anxiety as well. I have hardly ever seen him drink more than a glass of wine.

Joan & Hal Larson

Tuesday October 1, 1991

We sleep in and fool around but then spring into action as Joan and Hal are coming over tonight.

Smokey (their cat) is a bad boy. He pees in the blue chair again this morning and is banished to the laundry room.

After lunch I leave for Lemona house to show it to 2 different women. Only one shows up and I hurry home.

Joan and Hal arrive about 6:30. We take a quick tour of the yard the trailer. We take them to our favorite little Japanese restaurant. They like it as much as we do. After dinner they want to head home so our evening with them ends at 9 p.m.

Joan and Hal were our neighbors who lived across the street on Lemona Avenue, the house I grew up in. Unlike the houses on our side of the street, which were typical 1950 ranch style homes on standard lots, Joan and Hal lived on a huge lot with a small custom-built home. They were very strict with their two daughters Kris and Leslie, who both attended catholic school. When it was time for dinner, Joan went out in the front yard and blew a whistle, and the girls were expected to head home immediately. Thank goodness for cellphones nowadays! Leslie was my age and Kris was 2 years older. They shared a huge bedroom where we often played board games together.

Smokey is Mom and Frank's long-haired cat. He caused them so much grief by peeing in that plush blue chair. They tried all kinds of sprays and mechanical methods to keep him off the chair. He was an indoor cat and had a litter box in the laundry room, but was stubborn and rebellious, always trying to show them who's boss by peeing in inappropriate places throughout the house. I don't think I will ever be a cat person. I love my 2 Boston terriers Brutus and Zoey.

I Want To Make Love Every Day

Saturday September 28, 1991

We are at the Lemona house all day 11-6 for an Open House, hoping to find someone who wants to buy or lease. It's a very quiet day with only a couple of lookers. We head home at 5:15 exhausted from doing nothing but sitting around. Luckily, Frank kept busy most of the day with last minute replacement of light fixtures, etc and shopping for them.

At home we have dinner and watch TV, relaxing and head for bed about 10 for lovemaking. I want to make love every day til my surgery. I know it will be a dry spell afterward and I don't know what to expect after that. Will it feel the same? Will I feel the same. Time will tell. I will think positively.

Mom was legitimately concerned about her surgery. Not only was her uterus being removed, but also both ovaries. She was already post-menopausal though, and after menopause the ovaries produce very little estrogen. She had a wonderful man in Frank, who was always thoughtful, gentle, and helpful. What better turn-on could there be?

A Prospective Buyer?

Tuesday September 24, 1991

Very busy day doing laundry. Trying to keep cool. At 2:30 we leave, stopping at "Help You Sell" to talk business before we meet people at Lemona who want to buy it. Several more come to look. Nothing good.

We arrive home about 7:30. We eat light and watch TV.

The House Seemed Bigger as a Kid

Friday September 20, 1991

Justin is up early. Chris and Ric are up about 8:30. We all have breakfast and we all go to see Lemona house. I must water the new plants.

For lunch we go to Bob's and pig out on burgers, fries, salad and ice cream cake.

Chris is happy to have seen the Lemona house one last time. It is smaller than she remembered. We are planning to sell the house. It will be sad to let it go. There are so many memories of the children growing up there. Chris was 1 when we moved in. Gary was born 2 years later. I moved out when Gary was 20.

Before dinner we all drive to see Gary's new bedroom furniture, etc. We bring Junior and Joe home with us. We all go home to eat. Gary and Maria go out. The 3 boys have fun together. Junior sleeps on the floor. Joe and Justin get the couch bed.

Mom was proud of all the work Frank did to fix up the Lemona house. I had not been inside the house since 1974 when I moved north to Santa Rosa, California. It was a 4 bedroom 2 bath house, but only about 1400 square feet. It seemed large to me as a child, and the backyard, which I had the honor of mowing every Saturday, seemed to go on forever. I think everything seems larger from a child's eyes. Apparently Mom's attempt to sell the house was short-lived because she still owned it in 1993 as a rental when my brother Gary and I inherited it. We sold it that year for $140,000. Since then it has been expanded to include 6 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms in 2500 square feet and is worth $360,000. The lot size is 8680 square feet.

Open House Today

Saturday September 14, 1991

The Lemona house is ready. Open house is 9-5 today. We put out signs and ran an ad "Like New". We had several come looking. Frank replaced a broken window and mowed. I did some touch-up painting. We're ready. The house is ready. Now the agony of finding just the right tenant. Of course the neighbors prefer a young white couple. They may get 2 Hispanic couples with 2 kids.

Home in time to relax, clean up and go square dancing. Frank is really too tired to enjoy it but we spend alot of time outside visiting with friends. We go home early.

Yikes, even the day of open house, Frank is still replacing a broken window. Does it ever end? I hope they get it rented quickly. Whoever gets it is getting a like new home which is hard to find.

A Manicure for Frank

Thursday/Friday September 12-13, 2011

Feeling fine, doing the usual, at Lemona. Almost done. Frank is really burning out. Tried to get home in time for a movie Friday but missed our chance by 20 minutes.

I am doing my best to make life easy for fun for Frank whenever I can. I won't allow him to do anything at home that I could do. He has a hard time with that. He's used to helping clean the dinner table and load the dishwasher, etc. It's very hard for him to sit and read the paper or watch TV while I am working. It's the very least I can do.

I arranged for him to get a manicure today for the wedding Sunday. He really liked that.

Wow, I wish I was married to a man like that! Mine has no problem reading the paper and watching TV while I work around him.

Interesting, this is the first entry so far that mom has made for 2 days. Until now she made a separate entry every day.