New Year's Eve

Thursday December 31, 1992
New Year's Eve

I awake feeling brand new. My aches and pains are all gone. God has answered my prayer again. Praise The Lord!

Donna and I are very busy in the kitchen all day preparing food. Chris and Ric and all the boys arrive about 2 p.m. We begin to serve veggies, chips, dips, candies, etc. Gary and Maria arrive at 6 p.m. and we all sit down to a big ham dinner. It's great! About 8:30 Mark and Ivana and their girls arrive. They stay a couple of hours. We are all playing pool. Everyone is having a good time.

I begin to have pain in my chest about 6 p.m. and take pain pills the rest of the night. Marty and Kathy arrive about 10:30. When midnight comes we all toast, hug and kiss. A great day and night.

So thankful that Mom is feeling better for the New Year's Eve celebration! Mom and Frank had lots of parties and frequently entertained in their big house on Ambergrove Court. They had a huge dining room with a table that seated 12 easily, a large living room with vaulted ceiling, a big kitchen, and an extra large family room which included a pool table. When the house was being built in 1982 Mom and Frank asked the builder to remove the fourth bedroom that would have been built downstairs, opting instead to have an extra large family room for entertaining. Off of the family room was a sliding glass door that opened to the patio and off the dining nook were french doors that opened to another patio. The lot was huge, over 13,000 square feet, and included a large side yard where they stored their RV and boat. Summer parties were the best because there was plenty of room for a crowd in the beautifully landscaped backyard. The reception for her funeral was held there. This would be Mom's last New Year's Eve. Sad.

I Can Do It Myself!

Tuesday November 17, 1992

Frank leaves at 8 a.m. to walk to his carving class. I get up just before 9 a.m., have breakfast and watch TV til 10:30. I cover my bandage with Saran Wrap and take a shower and wash my hair. Afterward I flush my catheter. I can do it all by myself! I get dressed and Kathy Murphy calls. We talk an hour. Everyone missed me last night. Frank brought home many loving messages.

After lunch Frank goes to the Valley to shop. I dust our bedroom and do the wash. I water plants. I'm exhausted by 5:00. Frank makes a cheesecake.

Isn't that so natural for all of us, from toddlers to the elderly, to want to say "I can do it all by myself." None of us wants to be dependent on someone else to do things for us, and we take so much pride in being independent. Sometimes, though, we have to just be humble and admit our need for others. My dad turned 80 this year and he has suffered with macular degeneration for many years, which means he cannot see very well and cannot drive. He is healthy in every other way, and he absolutely hates having to depend on other people to give him rides to the grocery store, the doctor, the bank...

We Decline A Dinner Invitation with Marty & Kathy

Saturday November 14, 1992

Awoke tired. Finally arose at 9:30. Not hungry. Decided to give Frank a perm right away. I get cleaned up and we change the medication in my pump. It's 1:30. I spend hours sifting through the old mail. I'm so tired. No energy. We decline an invitation to go out to dinner with Marty and Kathy. About 5:30 we eat some leftover spaghetti and settle in for the evening.

Mother called today. She sounded so alert. We talked about an hour.

The laxative works very well. My stomach feels better.

This is the first time I can remember Mom turning down a dinner invitation, although she has missed a few square dances so far. It seemed like being around people always lifted her spirits and gave her a burst of energy. At least the laxative is helping her digestion in spite of the pressure of the tumors on her intestines.

Of Course You Can Dance!

Saturday October 24, 1992

Awake early. Can't sleep past 5:30 a.m. since our trip, but I have a hard time staying awake after 8-8:30 p.m. Hopefully I'll get back on track soon. Then it gets worse because tonight we set our clocks back one hour so tomorrow I'll awake at 4:30 a.m.

Marty and Kathy are coming to go to dinner with us tonight at 6:15 before square dancing at 8 p.m. I'm feeling fantastic today. I get alot of little jobs done around the house and still talk on the phone all day--12 people.

We'll go dancing, but I probably won't dance with this huge 5 pound 5"x11"x3" pack on my side. It would be very awkward. We'll see.

"Of course you can dance!", our friends all insist. I put the pump in front and dance all night. I have a great time! Full of energy!

Mom was always very confident in herself and didn't care much what other people thought, but carrying around the bulky pump made her feel awkward, as it would most people. I think it is so sweet that her friends encouraged her to dance anyway, and how wonderful that she was full of energy and felt great!

The Gospel Hour with Marty and Kathy

Sunday September 6, 1992

We're up early. We will meet Marty and Kathy at 9 a.m. for the gospel program, one hour of church choir, a young black group, and one hour of sing-along church songs. This is my favorite part of the festival. I love to sing the songs. I know most of them by heart from my younger years of attending church regularly. Frank sings too and quite well. Marty and Kathy like it alot.

We spend the day until 11 p.m. taking them to hear all the best groups. They love it and want to go again. We have lunch and dinner outside at the pool, listening to groups play for us. We see Carol a few times.

I felt much better today.

Mom's friend Carol got Mom and Frank hooked on both square dancing and jazz festivals. Now Mom and Frank have got Marty and Kathy hooked on square dancing and now jazz festivals as well. I lost touch with Marty and Kathy after Mom's death, but was happy to receive a Christmas card from them last year with this photo. They look just the same 20 years later! They live in Arizona now.

I can't help wondering why Mom doesn't go to church regularly like she did as a young girl. She always goes to the gospel hour at the jazz festivals in Monterey, Sacramento and Los Angeles, and she talks about how the gospel hour is her favorite part. She believes in the power of prayer and her faith is strong. Wouldn't it help her to be surrounded by other believers all praying for her and for each other? I have been a part of a prayer group at my church for many years where we pray together for our kids. My church also has a prayer group for people battling cancer. Matthew 18:20 says, "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."

Off To Don Pedro

Sunday July 12, 1992

Up t 6:30 a.m. to get packed and ready for Don Pedro. We leave at 9:20 a.m., pick up Gary and Maria in their van at Marklein house. We stop for lunch along the way. We arrive at Don Pedro at 4:10 p.m. Marty and Kathy are here already waiting for us.

Justin has been really good in the truck driving all day. He read alot.

We manage to get all the camping gear over to our camp spot in 2 loads. Gary does the boat driving. frank, Junior and I set up camp though I'm not really much help. Luckily, it's pretty cool. Not too hot.

By 8 p.m. we're eating dinner of fried chicken, potato salad and beans.

Wow, after I just said in my previous post that we always went to Lake Don Pedro on holiday weekends, here they are leaving on a Sunday morning and spending a full week. When we would camp on a holiday weekend, we would leave home at 9:00 at night, drive in the cool of the evening about 6 hours to the lake, sleep for a few hours on the ground at the launch ramp parking lot, and then be up with the sun to launch the boat and begin making trips to our campsite on the shore with all our camping gear. This had to be done early in the day before the temperatures reached the upper 90s. This trip they arrive at 4 p.m. They are lucky it's not too hot. Our campspot was always right about where the letter N is in the word California on the map pictured above. This is about 8 miles from the Don Pedro Marina launch ramp.

I am home about to give birth to Derek.

Chris Is Moving Too

Saturday February 8, 1992

Up late. Had a 1 hour talk on the phone with Kathy Murphy.

Chris calls. We talk at least an hour. I'm so concerned for her. She is back at work 8 hours a day and trying to pack up to move in her spare time. They are moving back into her condo next Friday. New renters are moving into her house on Saturday. Her new house will be finished in late May. She must either refinance for cash out on her condo or sell it before June 1. She's so tired being 4 months pregnant.

Now I can worry about both of my children and their real estate woes. Gary still must pick a lender and soon! He must decide to either rent his house or sell it soon.

At 4:30 Gary and Maria go to meet the inspector at the new house. Joe and Junior stay with me. When they return I have a complete turkey dinner ready as a celebration for Gary's new house deal.

Ric and I had purchased the house shown above in Windsor in October 1990 in Deer Creek Subdivision. A little over a year later the builder started a new phase of the same subdivision and we fell in love with the new floor plan and a large lot that backed up to open space. The only way we could raise money for a down payment was to sell my condo, which was rented out when we moved to Windsor, or to refinance and pull money out. In order to refinance and get a good interest rate, we had to live in the condo. So even though I was so nauseous and so tired from my pregnancy and was trying my best to work full time in spite of my nausea and fatigue, I had to come home after a long day and spend my evenings packing up our house. Then 3 months later, after the refinance was complete, and I was 7 months pregnant, we got to do it all over again and move into the new house that was being built. The timing could not have been much worse!

The Living Trust

Friday January 10, 1992

I try to sleep in a little but a telephone call wakes me. It's Kathy Murphy. She tells me about Echo, her daughter who's expecting her first child and her hubby is in the Army in So. Carolina. She doesn't have anywhere to go when the baby comes. Kathy tells her she cannot come home, though they have room. Echo decides to move to So. Carolina to be with her hubby. Kathy disagrees and says she should find a room in a home here. I think Kathy is heartless. How can she continue to treat her first-born this way. Our kids are always welcome.

I feel fine today. Frank is still disturbed about the living trust. We talk. I assure him I want him to have all my estate if he needs it, but I want what's left to go to my kids. I don't want his new wife to get one penny of mine.

We go square dancing, plus level in the valley and have a good time. We do pretty good considering how little "plus" dancing we've done since June.

I am assuming that "plus" dancing is a more advanced group of square dancers.

We went camping with the Murphy family 3 times every summer for several years. Echo loved babies. When Justin was a baby, on his first camping trip to Lake Don Pedro he was 7 weeks old. Echo wanted to hold him for hours on end. She was pregnant in 1992 just as I was with Derek. Considering how Mom always wanted to spend as much time with her grandson as possible, she must have been shocked that her good friend Kathy Murphy preferred to have her daughter and first grandchild living across the country in South Carolina where she had no family, than to take her into their home.

As for the living trust, I still don't understand what Mom means here. Is she saying that Frank gets everything, but when he dies, her estate will pass to her children? Frank's still going strong 20 years later, so I'm glad he passed her 3 rental houses on to my brother Gary and I. I'm kind of amused that Mom says she doesn't want Frank's new wife to get one penny. I wonder if she would feel that way if she knew that Frank ended up married her friend since second grade Carol Ziegler!

Two Christmas Parties

Friday December 20, 1991

Feeling pretty good these days except my thumbs and right wrist ache alot. I'm still preparing food to serve tomorrow.

At 10:45 we are on our way to Sherman Oaks for a Recreation & Parks Christmas luncheon. Frank enjoys seeing alot of old friends he used to work with, especially Jackie Tatum.

At 5 p.m. Marty & Kathy and Robbie & Delores arrive. We go to dinner at China Palace and then head for Ventura Harbor where we meet up with all our square dance friends. We tour the harbor on a party boat and see all the Christmas lights on boats and houses. It's really neat.

Chris and family are here when we get home. Marty & Kathy stay to visit for an hour until 11:30.

Wow, what a whirlwind day! Her life is so incredibly hectic that just reading about it can exhaust me sometimes! Two Christmas parties in one day! I retired from Pacific Gas & Electric in 2008 after 33 years, and my last boss always invites me for the department Christmas breakfast every year. I try to stop by the office once or twice each year to visit, but most of the guys I worked with are out in the field during the day, so it's nice to see everyone once a year at Christmas. This will be the fourth Christmas since I retired. Not sure how many years my old boss will continue to invite me. I worked in the Telecom Department for 12 years. So nice that Frank got to go to the Christmas luncheon with the guys he worked with at the City of Los Angeles Recreation & Parks Department. He enjoyed his job very much, but decided to retire when Mom got cancer so he could take care of her.

The Ventura Harbor boat tour sounds like fun. It is still pretty warm in So. California in December so it was probably a nice evening out on the water, and hopefully not too windy. They have a great life, filled with adventures and good friends.

It was nice to visit with Marty & Kathy. Marty was Mom's boss when she worked as a medical supplies purchasing agent years before and they continued to be friends after she took early retirement. We went camping with Marty & Kathy every year at Lake Don Pedro near Modesto, CA. They were good friends to Mom and Frank. Kathy even sat at Mom's bedside her last few weeks in the hospital. I have lost touch with them, but heard that they moved somewhere in Arizona several years ago.

Open House at Guy & Lisa's

Sunday December 15, 1991

Crazy dream upsets me and wakes me at 6 a.m. Can't get back to sleep. Get up at 7 a.m. to get ready to leave at 9 a.m. for square dancing at the Police Academy to raise money for the Midnite Mission. Marty and Kathy meet us there. Not a great turn-out (6 squares) but we have a good time. There are 3 callers. Frank and I get a Purple Heart for dancing in a square with 3 callers. We run into Carol and Ray.

After the dance at 12:30 we go to Lawry's for lunch. They are closing Lawry's January 3. We have a good lunch.

We arrive at Guy's Open House at 2:30. They put us to work. They have a good turn-out and lots of food. We see Gene & Cathy, Perry & Cathy. Lynne is in New Zealand.

We arrive home at 7:00 tired.

I wonder why Mom doesn't mention what her dream was about. Maybe that's her way of not giving it power over her.

I did a little research and found that there are hundred of fun badges that square dancers can earn. The Purple Heart is earned by dancing with 3 callers.

Guy Thomas is Mom's nephew. I'm so happy that Mom held a family reunion a few months before this journal entry and took a photo of the extended family, shown above. In the top row on the left is her husband Frank Reina. Next to Frank is her nephew Guy holding his daughter Allison and son Patrick. Next to Guy is Mom's mother, Grandma Helen Richardson. Next to Grandma Helen is Mom at the center. Next to Mom are me and my husband Ric, then Mom's nephew Perry and his wife Cathy, both of whom are mentioned at the Open House. In front of Frank in the second row is Lisa, Guy's wife. Next to Lisa is my Aunt Cathy Thomas holding Perry's two girls Lindsay and Brittany. Next to Aunt Cathy is my cousin Lynne and then Uncle Gene, Mom's brother. So my Uncle Gene and Aunt Cathy had 3 children, first Perry, then Guy, then Lynne. My brother Gary and his wife are in the center of the front row, and left of them are their 2 boys Joe & Gabriel with my son Justin Reyes between those two.

We Are Angels

Monday December 9, 1991

Had my nails done in the a.m. We decorated our Christmas tree the rest of the day. It's a big job but the house and tree look wonderful when it is done.

In the evening we go square dancing where we are angels to help Marty & Kathy and Robbie & Dolores learn. We have a good time and go to Hudson's Grill afterwards.

Angels are the wonderful people who introduce square dancing to others, bring others to square dance classes, and help the caller or teacher by filling the squares so that all class members may dance. Mom and Frank enjoyed sharing their passion with their friends. It was great exercise and certainly a great way to make many friends.

Decorating for Christmas

Saturday December 7, 1991

Lazy day. Up at 8:45 a.m. Brought in our Christmas tree. Frank put the lights on it. I began to decorate the house as I dusted.

Marty and Kathy want us to go to dinner, but we have eaten out too much lately. They come here to dress and we all go to the Fun Dance.

After the dance we go to someone's house for snacks and drink.

After the last few days of posts I was thinking the same thing: Mom and Frank go out to dinner almost every night, and they often go out to breakfast too. Besides the extra calories, they are spending lots of money on extravagant meals.

While Mom and Frank's Christmas tree never looked quite like the one pictured above, she always did love Christmas even when I was a little girl. We had an old trunk that was kept in the rafters of the garage. Every year we would get down the old trunk about the first week of December and gingerly open the lid so as not to break it. Inside were ornaments, tinsel, lights, and strands of garland. In the 50s we had a natural tree, but in the 60s I remember the fake white-flocked Christmas tree with red ornaments that we put together and set in the corner next to the decorative block wall between our living room and kitchen. A spotlight shone on the tree with a turning disc that changed the tree from green to yellow to blue to red. It was oh so modernistic at the time. We also had a decorative indoor manzanita tree for a few years that we decorated with ornaments. Mom loved holidays, and especially Christmas!

The Wicked Witch of the West

Sunday December 1, 1991

Boy, did I sleep good from 12-6:30 am. I had to ask for a Hepburn sleeping pill last night. I couldn't relax. I tried everything, even reading late. I was uncomfortable being in the room with the wicked Witch of the West. I sat in an empty room last night watching TV from 7-10 so as not to bother "the witch".

I had a lovely talk with Dolores in San Diego yesterday. She was so sweet.

The doctor came in at 11:30 and said I should start liquids this afternoon. He thinks I'll be fine. Hold on to your seats, here we go...

Had broth, jello, juice for lunch. It went straight through. Dinner was meat, potatoes, beans & cake followed the rest of the night. By 4:30 am it was all over but the gas.

Frank & Kathy Murphy came to visit in the afternoon and I got moved to Room 4101. Evelyn is a sweet old 74 year old. We talk alot.

I am unable to find any kind of sleeping pill by the name of Hepburn. Perhaps it is a slang term? Too bad Mom had to leave the comfort of her bed to watch TV from 7-10 p.m. It's not like that's the middle of the night!

I wonder if Frank and Kathy had something to do with getting mom moved to another room? Fortunately she got a more pleasant roommate! Looks like her intestines are not ready for food yet.

Where's the Trick-Or-Treaters?

Thursday October 31, 1991

Frank lets me sleep in a bit. I'm up in time to call credit check on Laura's application and be ready to go shopping when Kathy Murphy arrives. Frank is going to lunch in the valley with someone he used to work with. Kathy and I are off to Country Rainbow to buy her some square dance clothes. We have a great time. Everything looks good on Kathy. She buys 3 outfits. We have lunch at Jesse Cates. It's really good.

Back home about 4 p.m. I am tired. Laying down awhile really helps.

We call Dolores & Steve to say we can't make it for their Open House party in San Diego this Saturday, but would love to come another weekend. They'll let us know when.

Only 10 kids come for trick-or-treat.

Dolores is Frank's daughter in San Diego. She is a teacher there and her husband Steve is an architect. Housing prices are very expensive where they live, but they finally saved enough to buy a very modest home to raise a family.

10 kids for Halloween? In our neighborhood we always run out of candy no matter how much we buy. We have hundreds of kids, including many who come from other neighborhoods. Our neighborhood is safe and well-lit with houses close together so the kids can quickly fill their pillowcases with candy. It is also a neighborhood that goes all out with decorations on the houses, both for Halloween and for Christmas. On July 3 every year several streets into the neighborhood are closed off after 5:00 because the streets are jammed with cars around the park in the center of our subdivision. Many of the streets have neighborhood barbecues and block parties and everyone gathers in the park or their front yard to see the fireworks display from the high school next door. It's a great place to raise a family.