What Does My Future Hold?

Sunday January 31, 1993

I didn't sleep so well. My shoulder keeps me awake. I don't feel as well when I get up about 8:30. It's 10:30 when I finally go outside to visit. Everyone has decided to come back here Memorial Day. Frank picks out a campsite. Will I be able? What condition will I be in by then? Or even March 5 when we're supposed to go to Monterey? What do I have to look forward to? What does my future hold? It's hard to plan the future. For Frank's sake I must keep planning ahead or allow him to. We must stay optimistic. We hope to go to Bakersfield for the square dance weekend March 19.

Everyone walks to the marina. I drive Jim and Penny. It's a gorgeous day. We leave for home about 2.

My curiosity got the best of me and I looked forward to those dates in her journal. Amazingly, she did make it to Monterey and Bakersfield in March, but she would pass away before the Memorial Day trip. Reality is definitely setting in and Mom is realizing that the end is near.

Campfire

Saturday January 30, 1993

Slept very well in our trailer. At 10:00 I call Mom but she's gone for tests. We visit with our friends, then take a drive around to see all the many campgrounds around the lake. It's a pretty day but breezy.

I call Mom around noon. They have found 2 ulcers in her stomach. That's probably where her bleeding came from. They also checked her bone marrow and her rectum.

I'm tired and lay down for a couple of hours in the afternoon. Karen comes in to visit with me. I like her a lot. She really cares about me.

We have a nice potluck at 5 and spend the night around the campfire. I rest in the trailer from 8-9. We go to bed at 11:15.

Having 2 bleeding ulcers is not funny at all, but I had to chuckle when I heard that Grandma Helen had this problem, because as far back as I remember, she put lots of hot sauce on absolutely everything! It was like her tastebuds were numb, so the spicier the better. No wonder after years of spicy food, she developed ulcers.

That was sweet of Mom's friend to come in to visit her while she was resting. I'll bet that lifted her spirits.

That sounds like so much fun to circle around the campfire on a cool January night with 12 other couples. What a party! Makes me want to find an RV club. We hardly ever use ours. Frank and his new wife Carol still go RVing with their square dancing friends a couple times every year.

Last Camping Trip

Friday January 29, 1993

Slept well. Awake at 7. Ready to get up and ready to leave with our trailer to camp at Lake Casitas if Mom is OK. I call her at Kaiser Hospital. She's feeling good and her rectal bleeding has stopped. I feel it's OK to go camping. I'll call her from there.

We leave home about 1 p.m. and arrive at Casitas about 2:15. It's not far from home. Harold and Joan are there already. By 9:30 p.m. there are 12 RVs of our friends. It's been a beautiful day, but why do I have this thought that this is my last trip with our trailer? My shoulder is still hurting a lot.

Watched a movie Harold had.

OK, there it is. She is starting to realize and appreciate her "lasts". Mom always did enjoy their camping trips with their square dancing club. It was a big part of her social life. Having 12 RVs at the campground at Lake Casitas near Santa Barbara reminds me of a circle of wagon trains with a campfire and music in the middle. It does sound like fun.