CA125

Wednesday February 3, 1993

I slept fitfully taking Tylenol every 3-1/2 hours all night. After my shower I feel sick and terrible with chills. I crawl back into bed for 40 minutes. Frank brings me medicine, toast and orange juice. Finally, I'm ready to go to the doctor about 9:20. I feel a little better but lay down all the way to Hollywood. They check my blood and I get my new medicine. We come right home and I go to bed. When I awake an hour later I feel some better. I come down at 1 p.m. and eat sardines and crackers.

My CA125 blood test was 1260 3 weeks ago. Normal is 30 or less. It measures cancer but not considered too reliable. This is really bad. The worst I had before was 600.

I feel pretty good at 7:00. We pick up Gary and go out for a burrito. We find Marty and Kathy there. Maria has a bad cold. Gary takes food home to her. We had a good time.

I did a little research on the blood test CA125. It actually is used to monitor ovarian cancer patients to see how well their treatment is working. But is is not a good screening test to detect ovarian cancer. MedicineNet.com says, "Some women with ovarian cancer (up to 20%) never have elevated CA 125 levels, while most women who do have elevated CA 125 levels do not have cancer. In fact, because CA 125 can be elevated in so many non-cancerous conditions, only about 3% of women with elevated CA 125 levels have ovarian cancer." Even today 20 years later there is no screening test for ovarian cancer.

Ovariancanada.org lists the most common warning symptoms of ovarian cancer:

Swelling or bloating of the abdomen
Pelvic discomfort or heaviness
Back or abdominal pain
Fatigue
Gas, nausea, indigestion
Change in bowel habits
Emptying your bladder frequently
Menstrual irregularities
Weight loss or weight gain
Mass or "lump" in your pelvis that you can feel
Inability to eat normally
Pain with intercourse
Vaginal bleeding

It Would Be A Relief To Die

Tuesday February 2, 1993

I don't sleep well and wake up feeling bad. I stay in bed until 11. I finally am up and dressed but sit in the chair downstairs all day with my right arm aching terribly. It makes me sick. I take Tylenol every 3-1/2 hours, but it doesn't help much.

I'm depressed today but so miserable with pain that I think it would be a relief to die. I'm ready. I hope I don't have a lot of suffering ahead of me. Yes, Frank will suffer too. My children and grandchildren will miss me when I'm gone. Poor Cathy Thomas will have most of the load caring for mother.

I pray extra hard for a cure and long life. It's all in God's hands.

I help some with the wash.

I do remember Aunt Cathy telling me that Mom felt bad about leaving Cathy to take care of Grandma Helen, who outlived Mom by 6 years and lived until the old age of 89. I never knew Mom had such pain at this point. Either I was in denial or she hid it well, probably both. It is very difficult to stay positive when in pain. Poor thing. I'm wondering why she only has Tylenol for her pain. Why hasn't the doctor given her narcotics? I have taken Hydrocodone for back pain and for hip pain, and it's the only way I can sleep. Mom is suffering not just from pain but from exhaustion.

Shoulder Pain

Thursday January 28, 1993

After taking Tylenol every 4 hours through the night for the pain in my right shoulder I awake surprisingly rested. I feel pretty good otherwise also. In the afternoon I go get the car washed and go to the bank. At home I make some spaghetti sauce. It tastes OK but I only have a little.

At 6:00 our friends start to arrive. By 6:30 all 8 of us are ready to load into 2 cars and drive to Moorpark to see the melodrama. We enjoy the melodrama from 7-10 p.m. My shoulder is aching all night even though I took a pain pill. I'm exhausted when we get home at 10:30.

I'm wondering if she asked Dr. Semrad yesterday about the reason for her shoulder pain. My dad's second wife died of cancer a few years ago and her first symptom was shoulder pain. I was told by a nurse friend that is frequently the first symptom of cancer. Perhaps because that joint is close to a major lymph node?

I Have a Great Talk with Niece Lynne

Monday January 25, 1993

I slept real well. I took Tylenol every 3 hours for the shoulder pain. I awake with indigestion, probably from too much Tylenol. I manage some cereal and orange juice. I lay around until 11 a.m. Finally I shower and have a tuna sandwich for lunch. I feel a little better but I still have a terrible backache so keep taking Tylenol and Digel for the indigestion. I spend the day relaxing on the couch.

At 6 p.m. we go out for spaghetti and pizza. I don't feel well after I eat it. I have a stomach ache and indigestion persists. My arm is aching. It's Tylenol time.

Frank goes square dancing. I feel a little better about 8:00. I have a great talk with niece Lynne when she calls.

So glad to hear that Frank went square dancing when Mom was not up to it. I think Mom's visit with her niece Lynne, pictured above at my baby shower in 1992 with Mom, lifted her spirits. Lynne was very close to Mom, and even spoke at her funeral. Mom was the kind of woman that people turned to for advice because she was very wise. After Mom passed away, there was a bit of a role reversal. Lynne's mother, my Aunt Cathy, became my surrogate Mom and we have become quite close, just like Lynne and Mom were.

It doesn't seem like spaghetti and pizza was a good choice when Mom already has indigestion and upset stomach. Too spicy!