Chills

Friday February 19, 1993

We sleep in and make love, getting up about 9 a.m. I eat breakfast and go back to bed to let it digest. I feel worse and worse and finally get up at 12:00. I eat a turkey sandwich at 1:30. It sits well. I read and watch TV all afternoon.

It's dinner time and I feel yucky as usual. About 9 I'm struck with the chills. I hurry into bed. Frank covers me with lots of blankets and turns the electric blanket on 6. I shake for 40 minutes or so. Later Frank brings me a yogurt and later a scrambled egg and toast. I'm on pain pills for my neck and shoulder.

It's been several months since I have posted to my blog, partly because we were out-of-state this summer, but also because these last few months of her life are harder and harder to read in her journal. I'm glad she and Frank got to make love this day, but can't help wondering if this will be the last time.

We Make Love

Thursday February 11, 1993

Slept wonderfully last night from 11:10 to 7:15 even though I had slept most of the evening in the chair downstairs. I couldn't stay awake from 8-9:30. I hope I've broken the habit of waking up at 5 a.m.

I make pancakes and sausages for Frank and afterward we make love. We really enjoy.

At 9:30 Frank leaves for the valley to see Robfie and go to Marty's to check out his driveway. Then Robbie and Frank went to lunch with old co-workers.

I am slow and tire easily but am ready at 1 p.m. I eat a chicken sandwich from Carl's Jr. Frank is home at 2:30. We go to the movies at 3:30.

Gary and Maria and boys come over at 7:30 to visit. We offer to have the boys stay Saturday night while Maria and Gary go to a concert in Ventura. I felt pretty good today.

Wow, I wonder what accounted for the rapid change in her mood and energy? From her post yesterday it sounds like she is back on the chemotherapy pump. I suppose it can be attributed to getting a good night's sleep. Frank must have been thrilled to see Mom up early, making him a big breakfast and still having the energy for sex. Very thoughtful of Mom to take advantage of the little bits of time that she has energy and feels good! I wonder what movie they saw. She usually mentions the name, so whatever it was, I guess she was not impressed.

I am so glad that Gary and Maria lived just a few miles away and that they came by to visit. I have no doubt that lifted her spirits. My brother and his wife are so thoughtful. Just two weeks ago they had my 81 year old father come visit their family for Christmas and then drove 5 hours to take him back home.

We Make Love

Thursday December 3, 1992

Up at 8:15, lazy. After breakfast, I call Mother and Cathy Murphy. Mother sounds good. We make plans to pick her up to bring her here for Christmas. Cathy and I have a good visit.

Frank returns from carving class and we make love. My idea. It's wonderful that I can still enjoy it so much. Frank still gets turned on even though I'm fat and have this tube coming out of my chest. It's so wonderful to lay together in our embrace.

It's 3:30 when I'm finally dressed and made up. I feel pretty good the rest of the day.

Mom hasn't mentioned too much about their sex life lately, and I assumed she just wasn't feeling up to it. I think it is incredibly tender and sweet that these two lovebirds are still able to do it without worrying about dislodging the tube from her chest. I'm pretty sure it would create a big distraction for me.