A visit with Donna & Bob

Saturday June 29, 1991

Awoke at 6:30 sleeping on the air mattress at Donna & Bob's. Slept well. Backache is somewhat better today.

After breakfast we take a walk. The sky is partly cloudy. By afternoon it is mostly clear. We are in Placerville for coffee and yogurt with Donna and Bob, Mark & Yvonna and Heather. Heather is so cute at 18 months. A doll! Jennifer and Leah are with us too. Leah is crazy about Heather. They are so cute together.

Back at the house, we all have a nice dinner and relax til bedtime at 10:30.

Mom and Frank are spending the weekend with Donna and Bob at their home in Pollock Pines, just east of Placerville, California. Donna and Bob moved there from Southern California in 1980. It was hard for Mom to be separated by distance from her best friend. This weekend was Bob's retirement party. His son Mark and Mark's wife Yvonne are there, along with Mark and Yvonne's baby Heather. Jennifer is Donna's daughter from a previous marriage and Leah is Jennifer's daughter. Leah and my son Justin were born just 5 days apart.

Earthquake!

Friday June 28, 1991

Up early again to leave with the boat for Pollock Pines at 8 a.m. Frank leaves to get gas in the truck. I'm curling my hair upstairs at 7:45 when a 6.0 earthquake rocks me nearly out of my chair. Frank's mom called all shook up. Frank returns--he didn't feel a thing while driving. The radio says Pasadena was hit the worst so I call Cathy. She says alot has fallen from shelves. Luckily, according to the radio, no major damage except Pasadena, some old buildings.

We're OK with the earthquake and leave for Pollock Pines. It's raining lightly. When we get close to Sacramento, it really rains hard all the way to Donna and Bob's. Marck, Ivana and Heather are all there and we all have dinner lasagna.

The trip was fine except I'm achy all over from the walk yesterday. My back is still bothering me too. Otherwise, I feel fine.

The earthquake was later revised downward to a 5.8 magnitude. It occurred on the Clamshell - Sawpit Canyon fault, an offshoot of the Sierra Madre fault zone in the San Gabriel Mountains. Because of its depth and moderate size, it caused no surface rupture, though it triggered rockslides that blocked some mountain roads. Roughly $40 million in property damage occurred in the San Gabriel Valley. Unreinforced masonry buildings were the hardest hit. Two deaths resulted from this earthquake -- one person was killed in Arcadia, and one person in Glendale died from a heart attack.

The Perm

Thursday June 27, 1991

Up early and off for a walk to Sav-On to buy a perm. At home Frank helps me by putting on the solutions and rinsing the curlers. He's always been great about helping me color and perm my hair. He doesn't mind carrying my purse for me when I'm tired even in a crowd. He's always looking after me--sometimes too much. He can be stubborn and obstinate at times but he is really the husband most women dream of. Why God sent him to me I don't know. I'm so lucky. If life gets tough I know he'll be there for me to do whatever is needed. I tell him often how lucky I think I am to have him. I try very hard to be the good wife he deserves.

We work hard all day packing for our trip but manage to finish in time to go square dancing. We take Judy and Dave Dowd. Many friends are there in Reseda.

Mom could have been a hair stylist. She loved having a little girl so she curl my hair and style it. Even in the photo taken in 1957 on my main page, I have a perm at the age of 4. I always hated getting them because the solution was stinky and she pulled my hair tightly around the rollers until it hurt. Mom gave Frank perms too and he helped her with hers. He was a very caring husband to Mom. I am amused by the idea of him carrying her purse in public. My husband would not be caught dead carrying my purse, no matter how tired I was.

Junior High Graduation

Wednesday June 26, 1991

Slept very well--only got up once to pee and no hot flashes woke me. Most nights the flashes wake me cause I'm so uncomfortably hot. I kick all the covers off and wait to cool down (5 minutes), then cover up and usually go back to sleep.

Arrive at Maria's mom's house 10 a.m. for Joseph and Junior graduation. We have a BBQ steak lunch with all Maria's family. We like them all alot.

Later at home I give Frank a perm then bake brownies and Krispie treats. Frank makes fudge. I make phone calls.

I napped in the car on the way home from L.A. I seem to have little trouble napping in the car these days and often do.

I remember the night sweats when I first entered menopause, but I used some herbs and soy to alleviate them. My worst night sweats occurred after giving birth. That is a quick hormone adjustment.

Her nephews Joe and Junior (now known as Gabe) were 10 and 12 in 1991. The photo at Lake Almanor above was taken in 1989 with mom and Justin. My sister-in-law Maria always has family gatherings at her parents' home in downtown Los Angeles. The house is very small, but the family is huge. Maria has 8 brothers and sisters! How did they all fit in a 2 bedroom house? When all those siblings get together with their kids, and now even another generation of children, the house is bulging at the seams.

I am amused by mom's comment about being able to sleep in the car because for as long as I can remember she never had trouble sleeping in the passenger seat. She would be talking away and then suddenly silence--she had fallen asleep. To stay awake while driving she often took No-Doze a caffeine pill.

Nightmare on Ambergrove Ct.

Tuesday, June 25, 1991

Up early to go to the doctor. I awoke at 4 a.m. from a bad dream and didn't get back to sleep til 6:30. I dreamed I was alone trying to find my group of friends. I kept walking around the building where they were last seen until my legs were so heavy I couldn't drag them anymore. Then I turned on my back on the ground and pushed my body along. I knew Frank would be worried but I didn't know what to do and I woke up.

I went to see Dr. Bix alone. She said my white blood count was down but not enough to worry about. My platelets were fine too. She was so nice asking about our trip etc, I couldn't bring myself to say I want another doctor. The next time there's a problem I'll tell her then.

After dinner I went grocery shopping for Don Pedro. I'm really tired and go to bed at 10.

Could it be that mom was having a nightmare because she was dreading the thought of seeing a doctor she didn't like and didn't feel was in her corner? I just changed my doctor this week for that very reason. I need a doctor who is going to fight for me, not against me.

God is Working Through Me

Monday June 24, 1991

I awake at 7:20 ready to get up. I am sleeping very well these days, and feeling very positive about my cancer. I feel so well it's easy to just know I am getting better every day. I know the tumors are shrinking daily. My thoughts are constantly positive. Actually, I rarely even think about my cancer, but somehow I seem to find a reason to share it with most everyone I meet. I don't do it for sympathy. I seem to just want to share my good news about how God is working through me. My story is so positive and good. People seem drawn to me and truly like me. It's always been that way, all my life. Maybe that's just because I'm so positive about life. Life is good, but there are always challenges.

We take our walk in the morning and go square dancing in the evening.

It has been 4 months since I began reading mom's journals and posting to this blog. I'm always excited to see what she has to say next. It has taken me almost 20 years to begin reading her journal. This journey has been an adventure for me, part travelogue, part medical education, but most importantly a spiritual journey. Her attitude is always positive, trusting God through the power of prayer. It takes alot of courage to share her story with friends and sometimes even strangers. I love her statement that she wants to share the good news about how God is working through her, about how life is good, but there are always challenges. It reminds me of Romans 8:28 which says "We know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him who have been called according to his purpose." Mom did not view her cancer as a catastrophe or a crisis, but simply all part of God's plan to do good in her life.

Beignets Square Donuts

Sunday June 23, 1991

We're up at 8:30 to get ready, pack and leave about 10:30. We drive around Atlanta--lots of black areas. We find some old large homes in an area of about one square mile. We drive up and down all the streets. Most of the homes have been restored and are lovely.

We wander into a nice white area and find a restaurant called Huey's. It is like New Orleans and serves beignets, the square donut from New Orleans. We have omelettes and eggs benedict--Great!

We head for the airport stopping for gas and turn in the car. We arrive at the airport 2 hours early. Frank still feels lousy with his cold. Leaving Atlanta at 4:50 we change planes, running at Dallas and arrive Burbank at 8 p.m. We are not tired, though it is 11 p.m. Atlanta time. We clean up Smokey's messes and head for bed at 12:00.

A beignet (pronounced [bε.ɲε], which is the French word for fried dough) refers to a pastry made from deep-fried dough and sprinkled with confectioner's sugar. It is a kind of French doughnut made popular in New Orleans.

Atlanta has a population of over 1/2 million with almost 60% of them being black.

Smokey was their long-haired cat who tended to become a bit destructive when he felt he was not getting attention.

Atlanta, GA

Saturday June 22, 1991

Left Fairfield at 7:30 for Atlanta, Ga. Arrived Atlanta 12:30, stopping at the Welcome Center where we got a coupon for Travel Lodge downtown $37.95--real cheap. Had lunch in a roadside rest area.

The motel is between the 85 freeway and the Hilton Hotel. The Marriott is across the street. Our place is clean and fine. It offers continental breakfast.

We walk 4 blocks to catch MARTA, the underground rail. Tokens are $1. We get off at the first stop "Atlanta Underground." It's a maze of shops, food, and restaurants. Also, entertainment everywhere. We pay to see the Heritage, which is the history of Atlanta. The Coca-Cola building where Coke got its start is across the street, but we decide we don't care to wait in line 2 hours. Costs $2.50. We have a great Japanese dinner for $4.95 in the food court.

We walk through all the big hotels on the way back. We are in our room at 8:30, tired. Frank still fighting a cold. I feel great.

During the 1920's, construction of concrete viaducts elevated the street system one level to permit a better flow of traffic. Merchants moved their operations to the second floor, leaving the old fronts for storage and service, thus giving birth to what is now Underground Atlanta.

In 1968, the Atlanta Board of Aldermen declared the five-block area of the original downtown a historic site. Many significant architectural features survived from original storefronts, including ornate marble, granite archways, cast iron pilasters, decorative brickwork, and hand-carved wood posts and panels. One-year later, Underground Atlanta opened as a retail and entertainment center.

In 1980, the construction of the MARTA rapid transit line and other factors led to the closing of the original Underground Atlanta. Upon its closing, civic and business leaders succeeded in having Underground Atlanta placed on the National Register of Historic Places and leaders vowed to reopen the area.

In 1989 Underground Atlanta was reopened, at a cost of $142 million, through a joint venture between the City of Atlanta and private industry. It was redesigned to be one of the major projects aimed at preserving and revitalizing the center of Atlanta. Today, Underground offers retail shops, specialty and gift shops, fast food in the Old Alabama Eatery, unique features and entertainment, special events and fine restaurants.

Lake Lure Cruise Rained Out

Friday June 21, 1991 (First Day of Summer, Longest Day of the Year)

We sleep in til 8. Rise and shine and off for breakfast buffet at Bald Mountain Restaurant. Later we drive to Bat Cave for some more shopping. We decide to leave tomorrow early and spend the night in Atlanta, GA so we'll have more time for all the sightseeing there.

At 4:00 we board the pontoon boat for the lemonade cruise. After the first 1/2 hour it begins to thunder and lightning and our driver heads back--fast! Before we get back we are quite damp. Back at the dock we make a mad dash for the restaurant. We finally hitch a ride to the lower parking lot where our car is parked. We are soaked to the skin when we get home. Frank takes a jacuzzi and I get dry and relax.

Later we go to dinner at Azaleas. We use our $25 gift certificate. Come home and pack. Frank's cold is better today. I feel great.

As I reflect back on their week in North Carolina, the theme I see over and over is "Life is an Adventure". Mom really enjoyed travelling and fortunately she found a partner who enjoyed it too. Her grandmother travelled to the United States from Sweden as a teenage girl in the early 1900s. My Grandma Helen loved to travel as well. She and her husband Al had a small truck and camper that they used to travel all over the United States and Canada. There must be something about the Scandinavian blood that gives us wanderlust, because I love to travel as well. My husband and I bought a new Fifth Wheel trailer when I retired in 2008 and when our boys are older (they are 14 and 17 now) we hope to travel throughout the United States. We have already visited at least half the states so far. There is such a thrill in discovering a new place, taking a hike in a National Park, boating on a newly discovered lake, and viewing the wildlife.

Flat Rock Playhouse and Esmeraldas

Thursday June 20, 1991

Got up at 6:30 to leave at 7:30 for Dollywood, a 3 hour drive. It was raining as we left and so we quickly decided to come back to check the TV for weather. Not good! Change of plan. We undressed and went back to bed til 10:30.

I called Bobbi and said we'd go to Flat Rock Playhouse to see Neil Simon's "Rumors" with them. Frank drove us all. It was about an hour drive. The play was great! A matinee.

We stop at Esmeralda's for dinner in Chimney Rock. It's a wonderful gourmet meal! Foster insists on buying our dinner. We can't stop him. Our dinners were $15 each! Our new friends are quite religious and so nice. Later we go to their condo and visit til 11 p.m. We all vow to keep in touch. We'll visit them in Michigan, Florida and Georgia. They'll come to our house in January 1992.

Flat Rock Playhouse is the state theatre of North Carolina. It was founded in 1952 by Robroy Farquhar and his Company of Vagabond Players. What began as a few weeks of summer performances is now an eight month season of plays including world premieres and standard Broadway musicals, comedy, drama, and youth theatre. In 1961 by a Act of the North Carolina General Assembly, Flat Rock Playhouse was officially designated The State Theatre of North Carolina.

"Rumors" is a farcical play by Neil Simon. It opened on Broadway in 1988. At its start, several affluent couples gather in the posh suburban residence of a couple for a dinner party celebrating their host's tenth anniversary. When they arrive, they discover there are no servants, the hostess is missing, and the host - the deputy mayor of New York City - has shot himself through the earlobe. Comic complications arise when, given everyone's upper class status, they decide they need to do everything possible to conceal the evening's events from the local police and the media.

Dirty Dancing

Wednesday June 19, 1991

We have a lazy lazy day sleeping in til 11:30. Expecting stormy weather. Not sure what to do. Frank has a cold.

Drove into Chimney Rock to mail post cards home. I always send cards home from every trip. I hope they enjoy them. We always buy gifts for family when travelling and this day is our big shopping day. Now to get it all home. Called Dad to say Happy Birthday.

Tonight we go to the Dirty Dancing show with dinner. The show is great--8 dancers. We sit with 3 couples and a lady and make new friends. We all go dancing at Azalea's later, til midnight. Marion and Foster are from Lakeland, FL, Sue and Nolan are from near Atlanta, GA, and Bobbie is from Michigan. They all know about my cancer and have a prayer chain and will pray for me. We exchange addresses. They want to keep in touch. Sue had a mastectomy last year. Bobbie's husband died last December.

Many scenes like the one above for the film "Dirty Dancing" were filmed at the Fairfield Inn at Lake Lure in 1987. Other scenes were shot at Mountain Lake Hotel in Mountain Lake Virginia. As usual, mom makes new friends wherever she goes....and they are praying for her.

Biltmore Estate Largest in U.S.

Tuesday June 18, 1991

Up and out by 10 a.m. We eat breakfast in again. Our drive takes us almost to Ashville before we turn off on the Blue Ridge Parkway, a scenic drive through the Smokey Mountains. After awhile it begins to rain. Luckily, we'd already stopped along the road to eat our lunch in the car. The ride is pretty but no views due to clouds so we bail off at I23 and head for Ashville.

We stop at The Biltmore Estate, but $20 each to go through is too much. We stop at the Farmers Market to buy produce, etc. We have dinner at Crabby Bill's in Bat Cave. It's nice sitting outside by the stream.

I'm feeling good. Still have those funny pains in my ribs sometimes. Mostly on the right side. Laxatives daily are keeping me from constipation--sitting so much. Drink our champagne and watch TV. Frank jacuzzis.

"Jacuzzis"? I never knew that could be a verb, but why not. I love jacuzzis. Why weren't you in there with Frank, Mom? You have a private one in your condo.

The Blue Ridge Parkway spans 469 miles and connects Shenandoah National Park in Virginia with the Great Smokey Mountains National Park in North Carolina. It was built in the 1930s as a Depression-era public works project. It celebrates its 75th anniversary this year. I have travelled on parts of the Blue Ridge Parkway and was not impressed by the views. The mountains are more like low hills compared to my familiar views of the Sierra Nevada Mountains in California or the Rocky Mountains in Colorado.

The Biltmore Estate in Ashville, NC, is the largest home in America. The tour that would have cost them $20 apiece in 1991 now costs $40 apiece. It is a French-Renaissance mansion built by George Vanderbilt II between 1889 and 1895. It is the largest privately-owned home in the United States at 175,000 square feet and 250 rooms. By contrast Hearst Castle on the Central California coast has only 90,000 square feet. It is owned by the state.

Crabby Bills is a chain of 7 restaurants in the state of Florida. The restaurant in Bat Cave, NC has closed down.

Chimney Rock, Bottomless Pools & Lake Lure

Monday June 17, 1991

We slept in til 9:30. Ate cereal and went to register. The morning is warm and partly cloudy. Definitely shorts weather. Everyone in this state wears shorts day and night.

After registering we drive all around this Fairfield resort. Like the other Fairfields we have visited there are miles and miles of real estate for sale: lots, homes, condos, and timeshares. Also rec rooms, indoor and outdoor swimming pools, tennis, several golf courses, miniature golf, lake and marina and beaches.

We drive to Chimney Rock and the town of Lake Lure. We pay to see Bottomless Pools and waterfalls.

At 4:30 we return for Welcome Party under the tent at the beach. It pours rain. We win a free dinner and a bottle of champagne. We pit out on ice cream sundaes. Later we have a great home cookin' dinner at Logans Restaurant. Then we go to the country club and dance a few hours. Bed earlier--10:30.

Chimney Rock, pictured above, is a 535-million-year-old monolith. From its top, you get a 75-mile panoramic views of Hickory Nut Gorge and Lake Lure. A 26-story elevator built right inside the mountain takes visitors to the top.

The Lake Lure bottomless pools are currently closed, because the owner of the land passed away. The three separate bottomless pools were created over thousands of years as water from the waterfalls carved out the sediment. Each of the three pools has its own waterfall feeding into it.

Lake Lure is nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains in North Carolina. National Geographic named it one of the most beautiful man made lakes in the world. Hmmm, add that to my list of my must-see destinations before I die.

Fairfield Mountain Resort at Lake Lure, NC

Sunday June 16, 1991

Alarm goes off at 4:00. By 5:30 we are out the door, off to Burbank Airport. Our plane lifts off at 6:50 a.m. We change planes in Dallas 2-1/2 hours later. We land in Atlanta, GA at 3:30 their time. We got our power walk going from the gate to baggage, 20 minutes fast.

Picking up our rental car, we head out for Ashville, NC. It's a beautiful drive but further than we'd expected. It's 12:00 midnight when we finally arrive at Fairfield Mountain at Lake Lure. We drove through pouring rain for one hour and had dinner at McDonalds on the way.

Our condo is lovely as usual. All the Fairfields have been first class. Plenty of space for another couple. The living room is upstairs. Kitchen, jacuzzi room, bedroom and bath downstairs. Two TVs.

Fell into bed about 1:00--not sleepy. Only 10 p.m. L.A. time.

It may have been 10:00 Pacific time, but mom got up at 4:00 in the morning after only 5 hours sleep the night before. I can't believe she wasn't exhausted. What a long day they had! I am anxious to hear about the week they spent at Lake Lure, as we purchased a timeshare in Alexandria, VA a few years ago which is a Fairfield Resort, and we can use our week at any Fairfield Resort. I have never been to North Carolina except for a brief visit to Kitty Hawk on the coast.

Flying A Kite

Saturday June 15, 1991

Woke up feeling a bit woozy. Fixed french toast for breakfast again but still felt like I had a flu--ache all over. Kept laying back down while trying to get ready. Dolores and Steve will be here about 11 a.m.. They arrive at 11:45. I feel somewhat better. I fix lunch for us and we head for Ventura beach to fly our kites. My kite flies real good but Frank has lots of trouble with his.

We come home through Santa Rosa Valley--big beautiful homes. I prepare dinner for us all. Dee and Steve stay til 8:15. We must pack and get ready for our trip. We fly out tomorrow at Burbank at 6 a.m.

It's 11:00 by the time we are packed and ready and exhausted.

Oh my goodness, mom, do you ever just take a day off? Just read a book or watch a movie? Always on the go, always entertaining, always putting on a brave front, even when you are not feeling well. You are burning the candle at both ends, as they say.

A Woman of Extremes

Friday June 14, 1991

Didn't sleep well at all. I woke up extremely hungry about 3 a.m. I drank alot of water and slept til 4 when I woke up hungry and sick. Came down and ate a banana which held me til 5:30. Woke up sick and hungry and had some grapes and cheese. Couldn't get rolling. Took a nausea pill and Tylenol. No walk today.

Left for Frank's folks house about 2 p.m. No energy. After visiting awhile we all went to the Sizzler for dinner (our treat), Father's Day and Dad's birthday. Ate like pigs and really enjoyed it.

We took Dad the park bench and a shirt. He liked the bench a whole lot. He likes to sit in the sun each day.

Frank drove us home at 9:30. I slept.

Mom, why are you starving yourself one day to the point where the hunger is keeping you awake and you are nauseous, and then pigging out the next night? And you are eating out almost every day. How in the world do you expect to lose weight if you are eating out so much. Eating out should be an occasional treat, both for the sake of your body and your wallet. Slow and steady wins the race, not yo-yo dieting.

I can so relate to her mind set of being on the diet vs. off the diet. Last year I joined Weight Watchers in January and lost 28 pounds in 5 months, but then I went on a one-month vacation and went "off the diet" in June. I ate whatever my heart desired and enjoyed every bite because I was on vacation so "I should enjoy myself". I gained 12 pounds, and I lost my momentum.

The Park Bench

Thursday June 13, 1991

Up at 7:15--feeling really good!! Took a good walk.

Frank goes shopping for a park bench for his dad. I get my wash and ironing done. He refinishes the bench. It turns out great.

I try dieting today. I've gained 12 pounds back. Salad lunch and lite dinner. Then strawberries at 9 p.m. after we return from grocery shopping.

Bed about 10:30.

I'm not sure that restrictive dieting is really a good idea when fighting cancer, especially the simple salad for lunch. Where's the protein? Yes, eat a healthy diet, but concentrate on eating well and taking care of your health. The diet can wait!

I do need to make a personal comment about mom ironing. When I was growing up in the 50s and 60s men's shirts were cotton, not permanent press. When mom went to work when I was 12, she left me a "list" everyday of my chores to do after school. I had to wash last night's dishes (we had no dishwasher of the manual type), vacuum, clean bathrooms, shake out the rugs, wash the laundry and hang out the laundry on the clothes line (we had no dryer). After the laundry was dry which did not take long in sunny Southern California, I brought in the laundry from the clothes line and put it away in drawers and closets, except for my dad's shirts, which required ironing. I set up the ironing board in front of the TV in our hot living room (we had no air conditioning either, except for a swamp cooler that only cooled one room slightly), and with sweat dripping off my forehead, sprayed each shirt with starch and applied the hot iron one small section at a time. This process took several hours. By the time I walked home from school (4.2 miles from Granada Hills Jr. High) and finished all my after-school chores, mom came home to prepare dinner and I was free to do my homework. Do my kids have it easy!!

Our Anniversary: 9 Years!

Wednesday June 12, 1991

Wonderful, wonderful! No nausea last night. The new medication is working. Didn't sleep well though because of hot flashes every 15 minutes--Awful!

I walked Frank down to the dentist and left him there. He returned about 11 a.m. He wanted to have a Carl's Jr. chicken sandwich. I had a salad. Then we drove to Ventura. We checked out Harbortown Point. The units look real nice with all kinds of appliances.

Then we drove out to the kite shop and strolled around. We food shopped our way home, ate Pioneer Chicken and strawberries.

Watched Sammy Davis Jr. Special and hit the hay about 10:30.

I was unable to find any information about chemotherapy causing hot flashes, but I presume that because her cancer was on her ovaries, it was creating havoc with her hormones.

Mom always liked Sammy Davis Jr. When I was 18 Mom took me to Las Vegas for the weekend, just the two of us. We stayed at a cheap motel and we saw Sammy Davis Jr. at the Copa Room at the Sands Hotel. He put on a great show. Afterwards, we went backstage and got his autograph on our menus. Here's a copy of my menu. Look at those dinner prices from 1971. They were very expensive back then!

Chemo #3

Tuesday, June 11, 1991

Great News! My CAT scan shows the cancer has diminished. No small ones are visible and there is only a small amount of fluid. Praise the Lord! Thank you Jesus!

Chemo goes well and we stop for lunch at El Pollo Loco. Then we stop at Mervyns--more to buy. Tomorrow is our 9th anniversary, so we buy the dishes I've been wanting. Just 4 pieces for us.

No nausea. I have a small dinner and go to bed early.

Wow, after only 2 chemo treatments her cancer has diminished. Her prayers and the prayers of her friends and family are being answered. Her faith is growing. It seems hard to believe that this is a woman who is battling cancer. Her daily routine has barely changed at all. She is still shopping and she is eating out, square dancing, and visiting friends. Does this sound like someone who is sick?

Tomorrow is Chemo #3

Monday June 10, 1991

After making whoopee we are up and off for our morning walk with the dogs. They are so delighted. We plan to walk first thing each day and hope it will help us lose the weight.

At 1:00 we're off to take care of business and later arrive at Friendship Hall in Glendale where Frank will receive another proclamation from the city in front of the Board of Directors Parks Department. Jackie is there and others wish Frank well.

We stop at a great Mexican Restaurant on the way home in Burbank. Then we stop at Gary's to visit awhile.

We rent a movie and watch it and hit the hay. Tomorrow is chemo.

Today Would Be our 40th Wedding Anniversary

Sunday June 9, 1991

If I'd stayed married to Bob Lucky, today would be our 40th anniversary. Odd huh?

We decide we need a walk so the four of us walk to Eggs & Things for breakfast. Then we window shop and head for Mervyns where we buy several things to have to lug home. It's a great walk. We all enjoy.

At home again, we relax; they pack. About 2:00 we go to the chili cook off at the church. We run into Gary and Jerilyn, friends of Donna and Bob.

We drop them at the Fly Away bus in Van Nuys at 4:30 after a stop at Trader Joe's.

We stop at Marty and Kathy's and have a wonderful visit. Later at home we snack. Breakfast really stayed with us.

Mom and Dad married June 9, 1951. Mom was 17 years old and still in high school. Her best friend Donna was already married. It was more common in the 50s to marry your childhood sweetheart, often before graduating high school. Dad owned a printing business, mom was a stay-at-home housewife until I was 12, when she got a job with the Unemployment Department for the State of California. Dad worked hard and provided a good home for us. As a 50s Dad I think he thought of himself as the provider and he never could get used to the idea of his wife getting a job outside the home. Mom was very outspoken and could be domineering. Their life together was filled with friendships, parties, and Sunday outings. I have very fond memories of my childhood. When Dad announced he was leaving her she was caught completely by surprise. I was 19. My brother Gary was 16. We were celebrating his birthday at a Mexican Restaurant when our parents broke the news to us. They were getting a divorce.

Donna and Bob Visit

Saturday June 8, 1991

We arrive at 7:00 to prepare breakfast for Donna and Bob and Steve and Dee. After breakfast Steve and Dee leave. Bob and Frank install our new headlight. Big job. How nice of Bob. He's a good friend.

Later we take Bob and Donna to visit bob's son Mark, wife and granddaughter. Nice visit in Tujunga. Then we go to Gene and Cathy's in Pasadena for dinner. Wonderful visit! Gene and Bob enjoy each other. We stay from 5-11. Good time.

Bob drives us home. We are all pretty tired. Bob and Donna gave Frank a lovely money clip for retirement. Frank's folks gave him a check.

For mom it's always about family. She was the one who always held the family get-togethers. Here she joins Bob and Donna to visit Bob's son, and then visits her brother Gene and his wife Cathy in Pasadena. That's a long tiring day for someone battling cancer. Pictured above at Donna and Bob with Mom and Frank at Lake Almanor in 1989 and then Donna and Bob on their cruise to Alaska in 2009.

Frank's Big Day! RETIREMENT PARTY!

Friday June 7, 1991

I'm up at 6:00 a.m. to ready the house for company, get ready, pick up the flowers for centerpiece at the luncheon, and pick up Bob and Donna at the Fly Away bus in Van Nuys at 10 a.m. The flowers are beautiful. Donna and Bob are on time.

After I pick them up we go to Frank's office to surprise him that Donna and Bob have flown down for his retirement luncheon. He is very surprised. We help him clean out his office. He has a hard time tearing himself away from his office for the last time. Finally he's able and we head for the luncheon.

There are 125 people there to honor Frank. It's a wonderful affair with lots of nice speeches. We visit around the room. All the family is there except Deb, Joey, Sara, Chris and Justin. Chris has sent the centerpiece flowers. Dolores and Steve delight Frank with a kite. I give him a buckle. Paul, Judy, Tayler, Steve and Dee come to the house. Later we all go to dinner at Tony Roma's. It's a blast! Paul and Judy have gone to her folks.

It has taken me most of the day to write this post as I am heartbroken today. As I read this entry in Mom's journal as well as some of the next ones to come, I came to realize that I need her photo albums to continue my blog. Up to this point, I have made do with some of my old photos, but for many of the events and trips coming up I was not around since I live 400 miles away. Mom was always so faithful about taking lots of pictures all her life, and she saved mementos and all her photos in albums for posterity. After she died, I took home her clothes and jewelry and my brother Gary got the ski boat that we skied behind since 1972. But everything else stayed in the beautiful home that she and Frank owned. Five years ago Frank sold that house, which they bought together in 1982. He remarried and moved to a retirement community in Northern California. I called my brother Gary last night to see if he had mom's photo albums. He looked through the ones he had and told me he only had the photo albums prior to her marriage to Frank in 1982. Today I called Frank to see if he had the albums since 1982. He informed me that when he moved he was downsizing so he got rid of lots of stuff. The only photos he kept were their wedding pictures. I almost started crying right there on the phone. 11 years of meticulously kept photographs, gone. My bubble has burst. I don't know how I can continue this blog. It certainly won't be the same without pictures. The photo above was NOT taken at Frank's retirement party as I have no photos of my own of that event. I'm sure Mom took dozens of pictures. The photo of the two of them above was actually taken at Frank's daughter's wedding in 1986, 5 years earlier. Frank took an early retirement at the age of 55 so that he could take care of mom while she battled her cancer. He loved his job, but he loved her more.

A Real Fixer-Upper

Thursday June 6, 1991

Dolores awakens me at 6:15. I have slept very well and feel good again. We arrive at the house to buy at 8 a.m. for an inspection with the inspector and realtor.

The house is badly in need of many repairs, some major, some minor. Looks overwhelming to me. I suggest "Do Not Buy". They think Frank can come help put it into shape but it's way more than he can handle. It needs a roofer, electrician, mason, plumber, new carpet, carpentry, yard work, etc., etc.

We suggest to Steve that it looks like too much work for 2 busy busy people.

We arrive back home about 7:30 tired. Steve and Dee call to say they have decided not to buy the house. We agree. Dee's pregnancy test is negative.

Wow! What in the world made Dolores and Steve make an offer on such a house? I know that housing in San Diego is very expensive and maybe this is the only house they felt they could afford. But by the time they paid for all the repairs, the cheap house would become very expensive.

Off to San Diego

Wednesday June 5, 1991

Awoke at 7:30 feeling rested. The all over body aches are less. Some pains in my tummy now and then. Still have discomfort under my ribs on the right. Is it from sleeping on my right side? I wake often each night with achiness especially on my right side including hip and leg, body and shoulder and arm. My right side lower back and hip ache most of the time day and night. Need to start my exercises again and get back to walking.

I have my nails done, bank, post office, and get the car washed. Buy a hot dog and hurry home to vacuum, dust and straighten.

Frank comes hom and we are off to San Diego at 2:30. Lots of traffic. We arrive at Dee and Steve's at 5:30. Dee has dinner for us and then we drive over to see, from the outside only, the house they want to buy. It's charming from the outside. We'll see inside tomorrow. We go to a coffee house and later hit the hay (floor) about 11 p.m. Feeling good. They think I look great.

Oh no, mom has to sleep on the floor when she has all those aches and pains?? I have trouble sleeping in a strange bed and would have a sleepless night if I tried to sleep on the floor at this age. What a trooper!

San Diego is located almost 200 miles south of Simi Valley in Southern California where mom and Frank live. Considering the distance and how much traffic there is on that stretch of freeway, it is amazing that they arrived at 5:30 (rush hour) in only 3 hours. Located on the border between Mexico and the United States, San Diego hosts miles of beaches and a number of U.S. military facilities. It is known for it's warm climate and sandy beaches. With a population of 1.3 million, it is the second largest city in California, after Los Angeles, which has 4 million. By contrast Santa Rosa is ranked 30th in the state with 160,000 population. This is where I relocated from Los Angeles in 1974 to get away from the horrible traffic and crowds.

CAT Scan

Tuesday June 4, 1991

Awoke at 5:45 to set the alarm for 7 a.m. Frank jumps out of bed. He'd fallen back asleep after turning off alarm. At 7 a.m. I am exhausted but must get up. My CAT scan is at 9:30 in Woodland Hills. Nothing to eat allowed before.

My CAT scan is done in a mobile unit behind the hospital. I can have all my clothes on. The table is narrow--no room for my arms alongside. My arms have to be overhead but my shoulders ache and I have to lower them sometimes. I had to drink 16 oz of yellow stuff last night and 16 oz this morning. Now the nurse is giving me a drip IV while I'm on the table for imaging. The X-rays take about 1/2 hour. I'm finished in 1 hour. No ill side effects from the contract I drank except diahrrea and none from the IV.

I treat myself to lunch at Coco's. Then have a mammogram at Granada Hills. Bank and DMV for my new drivers license (lost mine). I'm exhausted. Body aches all over. Just want to go to bed. Pay bills, fix dinner. Tylenol makes me feel alot better and we stay up til 11:20.

CAT scan or CT scan stands for Computerized Axial Tomography. It is an x-ray procedure that combines many x-ray images with the aid of a computer to generate cross-sectional views and, if needed, three-dimensional images of the internal organs and structures of the body. A large donut-shaped x-ray machine takes x-ray images at many different angles around the body. These images are processed by a computer to produce cross-sectional pictures of the body. In each of these pictures the body is seen as an x-ray "slice" of the body, which is recorded on a film.

No wonder mom is exhausted after going for her CAT scan, mammogram, the bank and DMV. Just going to the DMV would exhaust me. The wait there is endless and in So. California you can easily spend 3 hours in line. Mom had better start getting her rest! No more of this staying up past 11:00.

Square Dancing Hawaiian Style?

Monday June 3, 1991

Didn't sleep well last night. Finally took a Unisom about 4 a.m. and didn't wake until 9:30. Even then I felt groggy. I continued to feel groggy all day and after 6 loads of laundry I took a 1 hour nap. No problem falling asleep. Felt somewhat better after the nap.

I gained a couple of pounds in Hawaii. Considering all the sweets and good meals we ate, not bad.

Feeling pretty good by 6:30--time to pick up the food for our graduation from square dancing tonight. We help decorate the hall Hawaiian style. It looks great.

Dick is a good sport about wearing the grass skirt and dancing with the Hawaiian dancer. We receive our diplomas wearing graduation hats with tassles and marching around. Then we have to hug and receive a welcome from every club member in the circle (100 or so). We (class) put on blindfolds and dance around raw eggs. Lots of laughs--cause the eggs were replaced by small wet sponges and cracker crumbs. A great night! Fell into bed at 11:45.

Not sure who Dick is or what he looks like, but I found this guy in a grass skirt who looks pretty good. Sounds like mom had a great night considering the sleepless night before, probably caused to the change in time zone.

Dolores & Steve Buy a House

Sunday June 2, 1991

We're up at 9:30 for breakfast. After unpacking and Frank vacuuming the house, we're off to Northridge Park for the festival. We see Maria (daughter in law) and Anna (her sister). I feel surprisingly rested instead of jet-lagged. My legs feel heavy and tired after an hour and a half of walking around so we head home for a nice steak, corn and baked potato dinner at home.

Lots of phone calls to catch up on. Dolores (Frank's daughter) and Steve (her husband) have bought a house in San Diego and want Frank to come down to inspect it for them and give an opinion. So we'll go Wednesday afternoon and come home Thursday afternoon.

The folks are all OK. Mother sounds good. Couldn't reach Gary--gone fishing!

We are ready for bed by 10:00. Smokey (the cat) is very glad we're home and wants lots of lovin, and we do. The girls, Daisy and Punkin (the dogs) are happy to see us too. We love our animals.

My brother Gary always did enjoy fishing out in nature. His favorite spot is up near Mammoth Lakes in the Sierras. Since this post was written on a Sunday, there's a good chance he went up for the weekend.

Dolores, Frank's daughter, met her husband Steve when they were both attending college in San Diego. They married in 1986, pictured above. She went on to become an elementary teacher and Steve became an architect. It wasn't until Dolores went off to college that mom and Frank got married. He was a single dad raising 3 children, Dolores being the youngest, and bringing a new mom into the picture would complicate things.