Cryosurgery

Tuesday February 23, 1993

I try to sleep after Frank gets up at 7:30 for his class. I rest only until 9:30. I get up at 10. Eat breakfast. I feel OK. It takes me all morning to get ready. I'm finally dressed and downstairs about 2 p.m. I sit around all day. At 6:30 we eat dinner. I eat real well. I have an artichoke and a game hen.

I have diarrhea all day about every 20 minutes. Not a real good day.

Joan called today. She remembered the doctor at St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica I told her about a few months ago. He uses cryo freezing on colon liver cancer. She called and has an appointment next Tuesday. He sounded hopeful. She sounds excited. Please God!

According to the website for the National Cancer Institute, "Cryosurgery is a technique for freezing and killing abnormal cells. Cryosurgery may have fewer side effects than other types of treatments, and is less expensive and requires shorter recovery. Cryosurgery (also called cryotherapy) is the use of extreme cold produced by liquid nitrogen (or argon gas) to destroy abnormal tissue. Cryosurgery is used to treat external tumors, such as those on the skin. For external tumors, liquid nitrogen is applied directly to the cancer cells with a cotton swab or spraying device.

Cryosurgery is also used to treat tumors inside the body (internal tumors and tumors in the bone). For internal tumors, liquid nitrogen or argon gas is circulated through a hollow instrument called a cryoprobe, which is placed in contact with the tumor. The doctor uses ultrasound or MRI to guide the cryoprobe and monitor the freezing of the cells, thus limiting damage to nearby healthy tissue.

Joan Larson

Sunday February 21, 1993

I took pain pills every 4 hours all night. I don't feel too well when I get up at 9. I eat some yogurt. I go back to bed about 11 for awhile. I call Joan Larson. She has bad news. She now has 5 tumors and has decided to accept her death in about a year. Her other options were surgery to cut off blood supply to the tumors or AZT. Both had terrible side effects. We talk a long time. I understand. She's worried about Hal. He seems to be mentally slipping.

I'm finally up and dressed by 2:30. John March calls me from Arizona. We talk a long time. I read awhile and take a nap.

At dinner I feel awful. I turn off the pump. Later I eat more of last night's egg fu yung.

Joan Larson was our neighbor across the street from the Lemona Avenue house where I grew up in Mission Hills. She died of colon cancer a few months after Mom passed away. After Mom's death she phoned me to tell me how much she appreciated Mom's support and understanding as they battled their cancer together. I didn't know that AZT was ever used to treat cancer so I did a little research on Wikipedia. Today it is used for treatment of AIDS, with little mention of it being a cancer drug. According to Wikipedia, "AZT is the first U.S. government-approved treatment for HIV, marketed under the brand name Retrovir. AZT was the first breakthrough in AIDS therapy, significantly reducing the replication of the virus in patients and leading to clinical and immunologic improvements...Early long-term higher-dose therapy with AZT was initially associated with side effects that sometimes limited therapy, including anemia, neutropenia, hepatotoxicity, cardiomyopathy, and myopathy. All of these conditions were generally found to be reversible upon reduction of AZT dosages."

Phil & Debby Spend Christmas in Idaho

Sunday December 20, 1992

We have a nice breakfast and I watch "Hour of Power" with Dr. Schuller. Debby comes about 12:00 with Sara. Frank puts a car carrier on her Trooper. I make lunch for all of us. Gary and Maria arrive to take Frank bike riding in Moorpark. I spend the afternoon reading.

Phil and Deb and kids will leave tomorrow for Twin Falls, Idaho to spend Christmas week with Jean and Al Gritz, Deb's folks. They plan to ski, ice skate and play in the snow. They should have a great time. Phil is working today.

Frank and gang return. They had a good ride. Later we go out for Mexican dinner. I talk to Joan Larson this evening. Her tumor did not shrink this month. That's OK. It will again.

Nothing like the encouragement from someone who's going through the same trial to lift Joan's spirits. I think that's why cancer support groups and grief support groups are so helpful. No matter how difficult her own trial, Mom always wanted to encourage others.

Mom's last entry about Frank's son Philip and his wife Debby was on February 18, 1992, 10 months earlier, when they were leaving on a weekend getaway to try to rekindle their marriage. Apparently it worked, because nothing is said here about them separating. The previous Christmas was spent apart.

Stomach Ache

Thursday October 29, 1992

Awoke at 7:30 feeling a bit better. Decided some toast and scrambled eggs might taste good and it did, but it gave me a stomach ache. When lunchtime came, I still had the stomach ache, but ate a little anyway.

My new washer and dryer arrive about 2:30. Frank has come home to supervise. All goes well.

I do 2 loads of wash. Frank goes back to Newbury Park. I put a pork roast in the oven. By dinnertime I still have a stomach ache, but my chest ache is much improved.

Joan Larson calls and we have a great visit talking about our kemo pumps.

I wish I knew what is causing my stomach ache. What next?

Lunch With Joan Larson

Tuesday June 3, 1992

I'm taking Joan Larson to lunch today. I'm really looking forward to it but I'm so tired in the morning I can't get started. I wonder how she's feeling and will she cancel. Once I'm dressed and ready I feel alot more energetic.

Joan is ready and waiting. We tell Hal goodbye and head for Bakers' Square for lunch. We try to keep it light but our conversation keeps drifting back to issues that affect us both. When you think (or know) your days are numbered there are many things to ponder and things to get in order, arrangements to be made. We talk about our husbands marrying again and agree we want them to.

We go shopping at Costco. It's fun. We agree we had a lovely day. Joan has about a year to live. I'm not so sure about me, but probably somewhat longer.

Ever since Mom's doctor visit a few weeks ago with Dr. Schwartz, it seems her whole attitude has changed from one of optimistic to one of resignation. One person's words, especially if that person is the doctor, can speak life or death to a patient. Proverbs 12:18 says "The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing". Dr. Schwartz was reckless when he dismissed her as a lost cause. If he was a wise doctor he could have encouraged her and even brought healing. So now she is talking about her death, about her funeral, about her husband remarrying, all in the last few weeks. Joan did indeed live about a year from this date, but she outlived Mom who had 11 months to live at this point.

So Many Great Memories

Thursday May 7, 1992

Up feeling a wee bit better but my belly is still tender with lots of gas. Frank and I have lunch at Carl's Jr. He gives me a list and I'm off to 1000 Oaks to buy tile for the bathrooms of the rental house. I'm not able to get everything I need so off to Van Nuys for the rest. I would love to stop and see Joan but am pressed for time. I do some shopping and make a great meatloaf dinner.

We relax at home tonight. I call Joan Larson. We have a good talk. She wants to get together and hold hands and talk about how lucky we are even though we have cancer. I agree! We are very lucky. We have had really great lives. So many great memories.

One of the reasons I enjoy publishing this blog is that it stirs up memories. I have great memories too, just like Mom and Joan. My life growing up in the Lemona house (pictured above) which was across the street from Joan and Hal Larson was of a simpler time, where we would play outside with our friends, ride bikes, roller skate, play handball against the garage door, play hide-and-go-seek or play a board game. We didn't have much money for stuff. We couldn't afford a Barbie doll or many toys, but I did love to read and Mom took Gary and I to the library to check out 10 books every week. We dug a fort in the backyard one summer, and climbed the huge birch tree in our front yard. I spent most summers swimming next door in the Gangl's pool, and once a week Mom and her friend Donna would load up the kids in our Pontiac station wagon and take us to Santa Monica Beach where we swam in the surf and went body-surfing. We got sunburned and came home covered in sand. I enjoy reading about Mom's childhood which was much poorer than mine. In the summertime we also spent a week camping at Leo Carrillo Beach in Ventura County, while our dads stayed home and worked. On the weekend they joined us at the campground.

My boys have a much different childhood with every electronic gadget, hundreds of video games, and access to any movie they want to watch. There is very little playing outside with friends. I hope when they look back on their childhood it with fond memories. We have tried to give them adventures as they have grown, camping, boating, jetskiing, riding ATVs in the sand dunes or the mountains, and travels all over Canada and the United States, including Alaska.

Tayler Rae's First Birthday Party

Frank leaves at 8 a.m. to pick up his folks and meet me at Gary's old house in Mission Hills at 10 a.m. to arrive at Paul and Judy's at 11 a.m. for Tayler Rae's first birthday party. I have a hard time getting ready as I'm nauseous this morning. I have to keep lying down. I'm afraid I should call Frank's folks house to say I'm too sick to go. But I hate to upset everyone there by not showing up. I keep trying and finally about 9:45 I'm fine. I took a nausea pill.

We have a lovely time with all the family. Tayler is perfect! We stop in Mission Hills for dinner with Mom and Dad, then we drive them home. On our way home I must stop to see Joan Larson. It's 8 p.m. but I must. They (she especially) are so glad to see us. Her cancer (liver) surgery is next Tuesday. I pray for her daily.

OK, so obviously Tayler is not one-year old in this photo, but it's the only photograph I could find of her. It looks like she is 7 or 8 here in this photo with her parents Paul (Frank's youngest son) and Judy and her younger brother Nick.

Mom was a great source of support for Joan Larson as they battled their cancers together. Joan lived across the street from our family when we lived in the Lemona house from 1954-1974 or so.

We Cruise in 19 Days

Thursday March 12, 1992

We're up early. Frank leaves about 8:30 for his folks' house and his trip to Loma Linda to see Uncle Ricky.

I spend the morning cleaning our bathroom thoroughly. In the afternoon I begin to shorten dresses and pants I plan to take on the cruise in 19 days. We'll fly out March 31 at 10:30 p.m. I have chemo that morning. That should be no problem. I don't seem to feel any the worse after chemo. The main problem is we'll be lucky to get 2-3 hours of sleep on the plane. We'll arrive in Miami at 6:30 a.m., rent a car and head to the Keys where we'll stay with my cousin Bucky for 3 days, then return to Miami for the cruise.

I call Mom, Chris and Joan Larson. Joan has just found out she has cancer again somewhere in her body (CA125). She'll have a CAT tomorrow. I must include her in my prayers.

Joan Larson lived across the street from the Lemona house where I grew up for 20+ years. So sad that her cancer is back. Mom was a great source of encouragement to Joan, as they battled this deadly disease together.

Yikes, that doesn't sound like fun to leave Los Angeles Airport at 10:30 p.m. and arrive in Miami at 6:30 a.m. I hope Mom is able to sleep on the plane. I have never been able to sleep on a plane, and the few times I have taken long plane trips, especially from west to east, I end up being sick and terribly jet-lagged for a week. Too bad they couldn't have planned a morning flight. At least they would have arrived in Florida somewhat refreshed before visiting her cousin.

Joan & Hal Larson

Tuesday October 1, 1991

We sleep in and fool around but then spring into action as Joan and Hal are coming over tonight.

Smokey (their cat) is a bad boy. He pees in the blue chair again this morning and is banished to the laundry room.

After lunch I leave for Lemona house to show it to 2 different women. Only one shows up and I hurry home.

Joan and Hal arrive about 6:30. We take a quick tour of the yard the trailer. We take them to our favorite little Japanese restaurant. They like it as much as we do. After dinner they want to head home so our evening with them ends at 9 p.m.

Joan and Hal were our neighbors who lived across the street on Lemona Avenue, the house I grew up in. Unlike the houses on our side of the street, which were typical 1950 ranch style homes on standard lots, Joan and Hal lived on a huge lot with a small custom-built home. They were very strict with their two daughters Kris and Leslie, who both attended catholic school. When it was time for dinner, Joan went out in the front yard and blew a whistle, and the girls were expected to head home immediately. Thank goodness for cellphones nowadays! Leslie was my age and Kris was 2 years older. They shared a huge bedroom where we often played board games together.

Smokey is Mom and Frank's long-haired cat. He caused them so much grief by peeing in that plush blue chair. They tried all kinds of sprays and mechanical methods to keep him off the chair. He was an indoor cat and had a litter box in the laundry room, but was stubborn and rebellious, always trying to show them who's boss by peeing in inappropriate places throughout the house. I don't think I will ever be a cat person. I love my 2 Boston terriers Brutus and Zoey.