Phil & Debby Spend Christmas in Idaho

Sunday December 20, 1992

We have a nice breakfast and I watch "Hour of Power" with Dr. Schuller. Debby comes about 12:00 with Sara. Frank puts a car carrier on her Trooper. I make lunch for all of us. Gary and Maria arrive to take Frank bike riding in Moorpark. I spend the afternoon reading.

Phil and Deb and kids will leave tomorrow for Twin Falls, Idaho to spend Christmas week with Jean and Al Gritz, Deb's folks. They plan to ski, ice skate and play in the snow. They should have a great time. Phil is working today.

Frank and gang return. They had a good ride. Later we go out for Mexican dinner. I talk to Joan Larson this evening. Her tumor did not shrink this month. That's OK. It will again.

Nothing like the encouragement from someone who's going through the same trial to lift Joan's spirits. I think that's why cancer support groups and grief support groups are so helpful. No matter how difficult her own trial, Mom always wanted to encourage others.

Mom's last entry about Frank's son Philip and his wife Debby was on February 18, 1992, 10 months earlier, when they were leaving on a weekend getaway to try to rekindle their marriage. Apparently it worked, because nothing is said here about them separating. The previous Christmas was spent apart.

A Visit With Paul, Judy & Tayler

Tuesday September 15, 1992

Frank left for carving class at 8 a.m. I arose at 8:15. I dressed and took off for my walk. when I returned I had breakfast and got cleaned up.

Judy called and invited us for dinner. Paul will make spaghetti. I called Debby. We will all go to see her and the kids at 3 p.m. Phil will be at work.

I feel real good today. We arrive at Paul and Judy's at 2:30. Tayler is sleeping still at 3:30 so Frank and I go alone to see Deb, Joey and Sara. As usual Sara is overjoyed to see us. Joey looks thin in the face, especially his teeth seem too large for his face. We visit for an hour or so then return to Paul and Judy's where Paul has made us a spaghetti dinner. Tayler is so tiny but not thin. We stay til 8:30. I have felt wonderful all day.

Paul is Frank's son who lives in Palmdale, about a one-hour drive from Simi Valley. Paul drives more than an hour each way to his job for the Los Angeles Dept of Water and Power. Paul and his lovely wife Judy made a great couple, but sadly have since divorced. I have no photos of their daughter Tayler as an infant, but I did find this one that was taken 8 years later of Paul, Judy, Tayler and their son Nick. Frank's other son Phillip is also divorced from his ex-wife Debby.

Chris' Baby Shower

Saturday June 13, 1992

Up at 7:30 to fix breakfast for Chris, Ric, Justin and Carmen. We have omelettes. I finish making the beans and get ready to leave at noon. I'm tired from too little sleep last night. We went to sleep about 1 a.m.

We arrive at Paul and Judy's about 1 p.m. Debby and Frank are there to help. Frank has brought his folks. I get very busy helping. Folks begin to arrive at 2:15 and most are there by 3:15, so we put out the food. I brought salad, beans, chips, jello salads and a high chair. Judy has deli sandwiches. There's plenty of food and a great cake.

Finally Deb brings Joey and Sara over. Strange! Good they came! Phil is working. About 30 friends and relatives are there. Chris gets many nice gifts.

We finally leave there about 7 p.m. I'm exhausted. My back aches. I have alot of abdominal pain.

I was really touched that Frank's daughter-in-law Judy (Paul's wife) wanted to give me a baby shower at their home in Palmdale, about an hour's drive from Simi Valley. She had a one-year-old daughter herself, so I'm sure it was difficult to host a party. Frank's oldest son Philip couldn't make it but his wife Debby came and brought their two children later. Many relatives I had not seen in years and haven't seen since were there. The shower was lovely. Too bad that even at 8 months pregnant I was still suffering from horrible nausea. And Mom was suffering too, both from fatigue and from abdominal pain. She didn't let it show.

I really liked Paul and Judy and thought they made a great couple. I felt sad when they split up years later.

A Visit With Paul & Judy

Saturday March 14, 1992

Up and out early for Palmdale to visit Paul & Judy. They are expecting us and serve us lunch. Tayler is cranky until we take her in their new car to Costco. In the car and in the shopping cart she is an angel. She's also at the age she doesn't want anyone to touch her except Judy.

Frank helps Paul work the dirt in the backyard and takes him in the truck to the lumber yard.

Later we stop to see Debby and Joey. Sara is out with friends and Phil's at work.

We get home in time to eat pizza and dress for the Happy Squares dance. It's too crowded so we come back home to watch TV. We were too tired anyway.

In the above photo, Frank's youngest son Paul is shown with his wife Judy and two children approximately 8 years after this post. It looks like Tayler is around 9 years old and her younger brother Nick around 7. Sadly, Paul and Judy got divorced as did Frank's older son Phil and his wife Debby.

Apple Farm

Tuesday February 18, 1992

Frank leaves at 8:30 a.m. for his carving class. I'm feeling tired and listless this morning. No energy. Had some worrisome pains in my abdomen during the night but slept well.

Spoke to Phil this morning. He reports things are still improving with Debby. They have planned a weekend away together next weekend at Apple Farm in San Luis Obispo. That sounds great! Frank and I were there a few years ago. It's a wonderful and charming hotel.

We eat a bite out and go to a 12:30 movie. then take a short walk with the dogs. After dinner we go country western dancing in North Hollywood with friends.

Phil is Frank's oldest son. He and his wife Debby were having problems in their marriage. Perhaps a romantic weekend might help a little?

New Sheriff In Town

Monday January 6, 1992

I'm up and off to get my nails done. When I return Phil is here visiting with Frank. We all go to lunch at a Mexican cafe in town. Phil is doing well and has decided to sleep in his water bed again. If Debby doesn't like that, she can sleep in Joey's room.

In the evening we go square dancing and then out to Hudson's Grill with lots of friends. We find out there that we are being nominated and selected to be Sheriff of our club which means we do the ticket (money) drawing each month and plan the social activities for the club. We timidly accept.

Wow, that sounds like something right up her alley. Mom was a social butterfly, and she loved planning social get-togethers. Their square dancing club is becoming a very important part of their life.

Christmas With Our Family

Saturday December 21, 1991

Our big day! Christmas with our family. Frank leaves to pick up his folks at 10 a.m. I fix breakfast for Chris, Ric, Justin & Mom. I'm pretty much ready when Phil arives with the kids at 12 noon. Everyone is here by 2:30, all 21. I serve hors d' oerves. We eat all day. We let all the boys open their radio control cars from us. They love them and have a ball.

Phil has come without Deb so breaks the news to all that they are near separating. The folks are upset.

We have a great dinner of pizza, lasagna, spaghetti, shrimp, salad, etc. after opening all our gifts. Marty and Kathy come by to eat about 7 p.m. and everyone stays til 11 p.m.

It was a wonderful day. Frank and I get to bed about 1:15 after cleaning up.

Our family wasn't exactly like the Norman Rockwell painting above, but more like a modern-day version of two merged families with stepchildren. Too bad Debby and Phil couldn't hold it together for a few more days just to get through the holidays, if only for the sake of their two young children, Joey and Sarah.

Nothing made Mom and Frank happier than having their blended family all together, Frank's 3 children Phil, Paul & Delores, with their kids, and Mom's children Gary and me with our kids. They loved to entertain even though it meant a long exhausting day and not getting to bed until after 1 a.m.

Debby Wants a Separation

Friday December 6, 1991

We're up early and walk to Eggs & Things for breakfast omelette. Afterward we walk into Target and across to magazine store. Then I'm too tired to walk home. Frank walks home. I wait at Mervyn's for him. My high energy days are gone. I started back on my medication last night. I am looking forward to being off my medicine so I can feel really good again.

Phillip comes over to get the pink slip on the Rabbit. He gives us some bad but not surprising news. Debby wants him to move out. We talk and cry for hours. He's really glad he shared this with us. We are too. He will hold his ground for now. She should leave if she's unhappy. We go to the valley to pick up a petticoat for me. Stop and visit at Gledhill. Try to connect with Gary and Maria. Come home to eat at China Palace. Pick up a movie and come home to watch it.

Ouch, this hits home for me. My first husband told me he wanted a divorce in 1984. I waited and waited until a year went by, and he never moved out. It was a very tense year under the same roof. Finally I found a condo to buy, John bought out my share of the house, and I moved out. Would things have been different if I had not moved out? Did our 4-year-old son feel like I had abandoned him since I was the one to move? At first it was fun for him to have 2 houses to live in but after a few months it got old. He wanted me to move back home, and that's when I had to tell him I would not be moving back.

I'm glad Phillip was able to talk to Mom and Frank. Whose idea was it to "hold his ground"?

I can't believe Mom's doctor put her back on the same medication that destroyed her intestines!

Closer to God

Sunday April 21, 1991

This morning I tell Frank, my Catholic husband, that I want more than anything to go to church this morning with Chris, Ric and Justin. I mean, of course, the Methodist Church where we have gone for Christmas Eve Services. He, of course, agrees to go.

I weep alot during church. Each song and prayer seem to pertain to me at this time. It is wonderful being there with my loved ones. I love going to church. The sermon is about gossiping, which we don't do.

After church I feel so good, we call Paul and Judy--we want to drive to Palmdale to see them and baby Tayler. I feel like I have lots of wind in my sails today. I feel slim and beautiful.

Tayler is a beautiful baby and destined to red hair like her mom. I love holding her, a new life, only 3-1/2 days old!

Later at Deb and Phil's, Joey gives me a large card he had made for me. I love it! Sara gives me hugs.

We eat Mexican food out.

Mom's faith was very personal. I never saw her pray or read the Bible, and she only went to church on Christmas and Easter. How I wish we could have prayed together during this time.

Palmdale is on our way home to Northern California so we take separate cars and continue north after our visit with Frank's son Paul, his wife Judy and their new baby Tayler.

A New Baby on the Way

Wednesday April 17, 1991

I awake at 7 a.m. Can this be? I don't feel so nauseated. I have a little toast and juice. As the day progresses so do I. I wash a few clothes, pick up the house and clean the bathroom. My incisions feel alot better.

Frank comes home from his first day back at work and reminds me I have forgotten to take the antibiotic they gave me when I left the hospital. I take 2 before bedtime and one during the wee hours.

Judy is in Antelope Valley Hospital with Paul and Debby. Her water broke at noon in a garden nursery. She's still in (inducted) labor at 8:00 p.m. We go to bed wondering and worried. I can't sleep all night thinking of Judy, praying for us both.

In spite of her own battle with a deadly cancer, mom is up all night worrying about her daughter-in-law who is labor with her first child.