Easter Sunday!

Sunday April 19, 1992 (Easter Sunday!)

Determined to attend the Easter church service I felt pretty good this morning except for awful sweating that went on for over an hour. Hard to put makeup on. The old pretty dress fit fine but the belt was too small by 4". No belt today.

I love the service, especially the songs. There are words spoken that make me cry. They pertain to me. Frank is wonderful. He would rather have gone to Catholic Mass today for a change but the decision was left to me. We should go to mass next week if possible.

After church a lovely lunch at Marie Callendars, then to Gary's about 2 p.m. I help Maria get a turkey into the oven. Her first. We have a lovely day in the pool and spa. It's 88 degrees. Wonderful day and dinner. We brought rolls and strawberry pie. After dinner we take a neat walk in the hills down the street and get to our home about 9 p.m.

I'm so glad that my brother lived close by when he and Maria bought their house. I regret that I moved so far away in 1974 after graduating from college. If I had known my time with Mom would be limited I might have chosen to live closer in order to spend more time with her.

Mom placed the program for the Easter service at United Methodist Church in Simi Valley into today's journal entry. Two sections of the program have ** next to them. These must be the words that really spoke to her and made her cry:

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT
Here we are through Lent, God.
It's Easter,..
but that's not how I act.
I act as if
"Well, that's over for another year!"
God, help me to rejoice and be glad;
To feel the reality and wonder of the resurrection
with my whole being;
to be able to mean "Hallelujah!"
as I mean my shouts of joy.

and then...

Surely, it is God who saves me;
I will trust in Him and not be afraid
for the Lord is my stronghold and my sure defense,
and He will be my Savior.

Perhaps Mom was thinking that modern medicine could do wonders, but only God can save her. She will not be afraid of death, for Jesus died to save her from sin, and give her eternal life in Heaven.

Tayler Rae's First Birthday Party

Frank leaves at 8 a.m. to pick up his folks and meet me at Gary's old house in Mission Hills at 10 a.m. to arrive at Paul and Judy's at 11 a.m. for Tayler Rae's first birthday party. I have a hard time getting ready as I'm nauseous this morning. I have to keep lying down. I'm afraid I should call Frank's folks house to say I'm too sick to go. But I hate to upset everyone there by not showing up. I keep trying and finally about 9:45 I'm fine. I took a nausea pill.

We have a lovely time with all the family. Tayler is perfect! We stop in Mission Hills for dinner with Mom and Dad, then we drive them home. On our way home I must stop to see Joan Larson. It's 8 p.m. but I must. They (she especially) are so glad to see us. Her cancer (liver) surgery is next Tuesday. I pray for her daily.

OK, so obviously Tayler is not one-year old in this photo, but it's the only photograph I could find of her. It looks like she is 7 or 8 here in this photo with her parents Paul (Frank's youngest son) and Judy and her younger brother Nick.

Mom was a great source of support for Joan Larson as they battled their cancers together. Joan lived across the street from our family when we lived in the Lemona house from 1954-1974 or so.

I'm So Tired All The Time

Friday April 17, 1992

I spend the day at home and run some errands. Frank works in the yard at the rental house and comes home worn out. We have a lovely dinner and relax at home. I make some phone calls. I'm so tired all the time. I'd probably feel better if I just forced myself to get out and walk and exercise with a video. My weight and the medicine saps all my energy. The iron pills (vitamins) I started taking on the cruise have really helped the dark circles under my eyes. Dr. Schwartz says I'm not anemic but I doubt him. He says it's OK to try Weight Watchers to lose some weight. I hope to start next week.

I agree that Mom would feel better if she forced herself to get out and walk. I try to get in an hour of exercise everyday, even if it's just a walk around town. It gives me more energy for the rest of the day. She already has a walking partner since Frank is walking 3-4 miles every day. Maybe she could start out walking just 1 mile or even 1/2 mile with Frank. Exercise would not only lift her mood and burn calories, but it would strengthen her immunity in order to battle the cancer cells in her body.

I Hate My Body

Thursday April 16, 1992

Even though I took my anti-nausea medicine every 4 hours since bedtime, I awake nauseous, but I don't throw up. I'm too ill to get up 'til 10:30 a.m. Frank brings me toast and orange juice in bed. After my shower I feel pretty good.

I have gained 38 pounds since April. I hate my body. It looks horrible. I need to lose 54 pounds to get to my normal weight and what I weighed when we married 10 years ago. My silent migraine headaches seem to have run their course. I haven't had one in a few weeks. Thank God!

After lunch we go to the Marvel house to take an inventory of what needs to be done. We call the ex-tenant to meet us to discuss the damages. We meet there.

I eat a normal dinner and watch TV. Chris calls to say the test says she does not have diabetes after all. Thank God!

Considering this journal entry was written on April 16, I hope she means she gained 38 pounds in the last year, and not in the last 16 days! Still, even to gain that much in one year is alot. Of course 10 of it was gained on the Caribbean cruise last week. I think that must be very hard on the body to gain alot of weight quickly. Maybe I will avoid going on a cruise after all!

Treadmill Test

Wednesday April 15, 1992

Income Tax Filing Day.

We're up and off to Kaiser Woodland Hills, no breakfast for me. I'm having a treadmill test. I didn't sleep well from 4 a.m. Don't know why. Maybe concern about the treadmill test. I pass the test great! No clogged arteries so my chest pain is not my heart. Last night after climbing the stairs and putting on my gown my upper chest, shoulders and arms to the elbow tightened in pain. I layed down, Frank got my nitroglycerin, I put one under my tongue and in about 5 minutes it was over.

Next I saw Dr. Swartz. He checked all my lymph nodes. Though my white blood count was only 2.9 he decided to give me "5 FU" chemo injection. Normal is 10. I must really be careful not to get germs from anyone. My resistance is soooo low.

We go out to lunch, go to Costco, bank, etc and Marvel house. They finished moving out today finally.

We have dinner, I make some phone calls and fall asleep on the couch about 9 p.m.

I have never had a treadmill test, but I imagine I would be a little nervous about it too and perhaps lose some sleep. I'm surprised she was not supposed to have breakfast before the test. It sure does sound like her symptoms just the night before were heart disease of some kind. I wonder if having a low white cell count would account for her fatigue or perhaps even her chest pains?

I had to laugh out loud when Mom says she has to avoid getting germs from anyone because of low resistance and then goes right out to run errands around town. Does she think that anyone with germs will be home in bed?

Praying for Chris

Tuesday April 14, 1992

I wake about 6 a.m. but force myself back to sleep until 8 a.m. At 8:30 Frank takes off to walk to his carving class at the senior center. I spend the morning finishing the huge wash I started yesterday. Then I change my clothes, bringing my summer clothes into our closet. My left foot heel still has the same pain in the bone since we went to Florida.

Chris called last night. They now think she is diabetic. She knows now her blood pressure was 80/0 when she had her heart problem. She's worried about damage to the baby at that time. The diabetes could cause complications too. She's still sick everyday and must go back to work on 2 days and doesn't know how. I said we must continue to pray for her health and for a healthy baby. I pray daily for her and others. Please God give her a normal healthy baby and restore Chris' health.

A few months before my appendectomy I had to visit the emergency room at Memorial Hospital in Santa Rosa due to my racing heart (tachycardia) that refused to slow down. They checked my blood pressure at that time and it was 80/0. My pulse was 180 beats per minute, about 3 times faster than normal. I was very uncomfortable and was sweating profusely. I had these episodes several times per year since I was a little girl, but had learned how to slow down my racing heart. I was told by my doctor that during pregnancy the volume of blood increases dramatically in the mother, putting more stress on the heart. I was no longer able to get my heart to slow down when it was racing. The resulting low blood pressure was indeed dangerous to the baby. Before I got pregnant with my last child, Ryan, I had heart surgery in San Jose to burn (called "Ablation") the portion of my heart that had an electrical malfunction. Amazingly, when Ryan was born the following year (1995) he too had a heart issue and had heart surgery when he was 5 years old. So six months into my pregnancy I had already experienced heart problems, appendicitis, possible diabetes, and the neverending nausea and vomiting that kept me bedridden much of the day. Maybe that is why they suspected diabetes. My diet consisted of a box of soda crackers everyday along with 7-Up! I couldn't keep much of anything else down.

Belgian Waffles, Chili Dog & Pizza

Monday April 13, 1992

We are both awake at 5:00 a.m. (8 a.m. Miami time). After messing around awhile we decide to get up and go out to breakfast at Eggs & Things for the early bird special. It's great! Belgian waffles.

At home I clean up myself, Frank vacuums the house. It's lousy with cat hair and Smokey has peed on the couch and small segments of his poop here and there. Frank leaves to check out the empty Marvel house here in Simi and then he'll go help Gary. I go to get my nails done. Afterwards, I have a chili dog.

We order pizza in. At 7:30 we leave to go square dancing. We have a really good time. I'm surprised I don't tire at all, and I don't sweat too bad but I do blot alot between tips. Everyone is sooo glad to see us back. Afterward, we go to Hudsons Grill with Judy and Dave Dowd.

Wow, just back from a fattening cruise where she gained 10 pounds, and instead of going grocery shopping for some nutritious low-calories foods she can prepare at home, she goes out for Belgian waffles for breakfast, chili dog for lunch, and pizza for dinner. Then to top it off, they go out to a restaurant with friends after square dancing. I'm not as concerned about the calories as I am about the nutrition, or lack of it. Mom is battling cancer. She needs to give her body good fuel.

I remember how annoyed Mom and Frank would get with their cat Smokey. Whenever they left him home alone, he would "punish" them by peeing on the couch and pooping on the carpet instead of using his litter box

This webpage has a feature that shows how many people have looked at my blog. Over the last week I have watched the number approach 12,000, and today as I write, I have had 12,007 "hits" on my blog. It's exciting to know that someone is reading it, and I hope enjoying it half as much as I enjoy writing it. My blog is a tribute to my mother as well as a legacy of her life and mine I leave to my children.

Miami Trolley Tour

Sunday April 12, 1992

Alarm goes off at 6:45. We must be out of this room by 8:30 a.m. We are the first to leave the ship because we are taking the Miami Trolley Tour. Customs is a joke. We walk right through. It's raining on the tour but warm. It lasts about 90 minutes. I'm so sleepy trying to stay awake I don't hear or enoy all the information. They drop us at the airport where we have a 2-hour 20 minute wait. Once on the plane, I go right to sleep for 1/2 hour. After that I feel great! Five hours later we say goodbye to McKees. We stop at Gary's new house in Simi on the way home. They moved yesterday and have all the important things in place. They had lots of people and trucks help them move so it went quickly.

At home we unload but don't unpack. We check the mail, etc and go to bed at 1 a.m. Miami time. Not tired at all. It's so good to be home!

Even though Mom and Frank seemed to enjoy the beginning of their trip to the Florida Keys, it seems like she was exhausted for most of the trip and just anxious to get home. I think she was suffering from jet lag, and this was compounded by taking Meclizine for seasickness, which also causes fatigue. Knowing that I suffer from jet lag when travelling from west to east I would have to plan ahead and arrive early if I were to ever go on a Caribbean cruise. From Mom's description of the cruise, it doesn't sound that appealing anyway. I think if we do take a cruise someday, it will probably be to Alaska, and only to see Glacier Bay.

Lobster and Baked Alaska

Saturday April 11, 1992

I awake. Frank is up. It's 8 a.m. I feel I could sleep 2 more hours but I get up. Frank goes to breakfast at The Red Apple and later brings me ham, bacon, eggs, OJ, rolls and juice, plus banana and grapefuit. No help on eating light from Frank. Frank takes his usual 3-4 mile walk and we meet in the Cabaret Lounge for debarkation talk and stay for Bingo. Then we go to lunch.

In our cabin I write in the journal and then head up to do some sunbathing even though I'm not supposed to sunbathe. I get a little red in a short time. I have 6 attacks of chest pain in the afternoon. Aches alot 1-2 minutes.

Frank has held his weight. I feel and look 10 pounds heavier. Lobster and baked Alaska for dinner. The dance and song review is great at 9:15. We're packed and ready to go home and looking forward to it.

With 3 huge meals per day, including this night's lobster and baked Alaska, no wonder Mom gained 10 pounds. From what I have heard about cruising, that is actually a typical weight gain. Kudos to Frank for keeping up with his 3-4 mile walks. Assuming they were on the Norwegian Pearl, the length of the ship was 965 feet, so he could easily get his miles in on the deck or on a treadmill. Assuming the deck is not too crowded, I would much rather walk outside and enjoy the view.

Cozumel

Friday April 10, 1992

We dock in Cozumel about 9 a.m. I sleep til 9:30. Frank brings me my breakfast in the room. We go ashore after lunch to shop. We share a cab with Bob and Anita for $3.00. We find a couple of cute dresses for Sara and one for Taylor. A Mexican blouse for me.

We are back on board for dinner at 6 p.m. Allen and Ida never seem to like what they order and order something else. The waiter puts their dinner in the garbage box. I'm very tired from shopping so after dinner we go ashore for a little more shopping, then up to Oscar's bar where Frank has a cappuccino coffee. We're in bed by 11:30.

What? They didn't even bother to see the sights at either Grand Cayman or Cozumel. If I hired a taxi I would have him drive me around to show me the beaches and the Mayan ruins. Maybe they had already been to the Western Carribean? I definitely would not have spent my time shopping at the numerous souvenir shops near the cruise ship ports. When we visited Alaska in 2001 we would leave town whent he cruise ships came in because thousands of tourist would inundate the areas near the ports. I guess that's why we have never tried a cruise. Too many crowds!

Sounds like Mom got to sleep in after their late night. Too bad they were stuck with such finicky travellers at their dining table.

Grand Cayman Island on Chris' Birthday

Thursday April 9, 1992

Chris' birthday! We are in Grand Cayman Island today so I call her to wish her Happy Birthday. She's very surprised!

Frank and I decide to skip the few tours offered and instead spend a few hours shopping. We buy perfume and tableclothes at great prices. Bob and Anita have gone on a van tour to the turtle farm. We spend time in our bathing suits at the pool and get quite a bit of color. I'm feeling full of energy today. Maybe my new iron pills are starting to work.

We stay up for the grand buffet at midnight. We go dancing and fall in bed about 1:30 a.m. Dinner is duck and fish. Show is lead singer from Jefferson Starship and Airplane, Marty Balin. We really enjoy that.

Trouble sleeping--too full--take pill.

This is the era before cellphones, so Mom must have gone through some trouble and expense to call me on my birthday. So thoughtful! With all that activity and excitement until the wee hours of the morning I would have a hard time winding down too. Xanax works for me every time. I wonder how she'll be feeling in the morning.

Ocho Rios, Jamaica

Wednesday April 8, 1992

Alarm goes off at 6:30 a.m. We leave on our tour to the waterfall at 8:30. I have breakfast in our room. We are in Ocho Rios, Jamaica today. We are in a nice air conditioned van with 8 others. It's hot and humid outside. Our driver takes us to the rain forest past alot of poverty. The forest is beautiful. Next stop is a lovely garden, Shaw Gardens. We take lots of pictures.

Our next stop is shopping in 2 malls. Too many street vendors and pushy vendors. I don't like it. We buy nothing. Last stop is the fabulous waterfall you can climb, Dunn's Falls. Too much for us to climb but we watch and take pictures. We are back on board for lunch. We relax the rest of the day. We watch a movie in our room and nap.

Show tonight is Grease. Great, but I leave a little before it's over. I'm too tired--bed.

Ric and I visited Jamaica in 1989, 3 years before Mom and Frank stopped there this day. I am in total agreement with her impression. It was extremely hot and humid (we were there in November.) The poverty was very depressing. Ric and I stayed in Montego Bay where our resort was surrounded by chain link fence to keep the locals out. It sounds like the driver of Mom and Frank's van was sane, but Ric and I took "public transportation" one day from Montego Bay to Ocho Rios to see Dunn's Falls, and were shocked to find out that public transportation consisted of 16-20 passengers stuffed into a VW van while the driver weaved in and out of traffic at high speed. For the "privilege" of being in the front seat we had to pay extra for this experience, but we did not know this until we arrived in Ocho Rios! We also visited the marketplace in Ocho Rios, where vendors shouted and grabbed at us for our attention, and several women even grabbed my hair to try to get me to pay for having my hair braided in dreadlocks. It was creepy. Also, every block or so someone would try to get us to buy marijuana, which is legal there. We went to Dunns Falls, which was beautiful, and we joined a group from a cruise ship who were hiking up the falls, just like the group pictured above. At the end of the hike we got someone to take a picture of us at the falls. The photo below was taken of Ric and I at the Falls in 1989.

Meclizine

Tuesday April 7, 1992

Up at 7:45 a.m. feeling good. My wrist has stopped bothering me, pain only when I move it certains ways. We have breakfast on the upper deck at 9:15. Bacon, eggs, pancakes, danish, grapefruit, orange juice. We attend the talk on Ocho Rios, Jamaica, where we'll be tomorrow. Today is a day at sea.

We do some sunbathing and watch the ice carving. The seasick pills are working great! Called "Meclizine".

We have our lunch at the new table they assigned us to. It's a table for 6. The couple from Anaheim, Allen and Ida are nice, our age. Dinner is island dress, escargot, onion soup, beef. All wonderful. We go to the Roaring 20s show and dance later.

I had a nap so feel real good tonight. Can't stay up late cause we must get up early.

No wonder Mom was tired! I suffered from vertigo for several days a few months ago, and took Meclizine to treat it. It definitely helped the vertigo, but it also knocked me out cold. Within 20 minutes of taking a pill, I was sound asleep every time!

Great Stirrup Cay, Bahamas

Monday April 6, 1992

First full day afloat. We are at Pleasure Island but the seas are very rough so they use the landing craft boat to tender the people to the island for a day of sun and swim. We decide not to go. We enjoy roaming the ship and watch a movie in our room. I nap alot. We have a great casual lunch. Dinner is a wonderful game hen, plus, plus...

The show tonight is Broadway musical songs. Very good cast and good voices. I'm tired. We retire at 10:30 and go to sleep at 11:30.

After much research looking for a place called Pleasure Island, I finally realized the this stop was at a private island owned by Norwegian Cruise Lines called Great Stirrup Cay in the Bahamas. It was the first "private" island purchased by a cruise line in 1977. After studying the map of this island which is 1-1/2 miles wide and 2-1/2 miles long, I think it looks like alot of fun. Too bad Mom was too tired to see it. Maybe that's why she didn't bother to find out what it was actually called. Or perhaps 20 years ago, it really was called 'Pleasure Island."

We Board The Ship

Sunday April 5, 1992

We're up about 8 a.m. in our room at the Omni Hotel in Miami, Fl. Frank goes to Burger King and brings back breakfast for me. We wander around and do some shopping before leaving on the bus at 1 p.m. and arrive at the ship at 1:20. I'm feeling tired but OK. We enjoyed the Keys so much. I wonder if the cruise will seem anticlimactic. Bobbie and Anita are so excited it catches on.

We have our luggage and are settled in our tiny cabin with the big square window by 2:30-3 p.m. We stroll around with Bob and Anita to check out the ship. Lunch and dinner are swell and the evening show is get acquainted.

I checked the Norwegian Cruise Line's itineraries for the Carribean cruises from Miami and it looks like they were on the Western Caribbean cruise with stops at Great Stirrup Cay, Bahamas, Ocho Rios, Jamaica, Grand Cayman, and Cozumel. 20 years later the cruise ship "Pearl" travels this route. It's oceanview rooms have 161 square feet. Their tiny room is pictured above. The Norwegian Pearl is pictured below.

Bob and Anita Arrive in Miami

Saturday April 4, 1992

We are up early and ready to leave Bucky and Iny's in Key Summerland, Florida at 8 a.m. We take some pictures of their house and we're on our way to Miami via the coast route. It's a beautiful drive past lovely big estate homes and towns.

After we check into the Omni Hotel we head for the airport where we pick up Bobbie and Anita McKee arriving from Los Angeles. They are tired and excited. Frank drives us all to the hotel, then he and Bobbie take the car back to the airport and catch a NCL bus back.

We have a Chinese dinner in the mall below our hotel. It's really good and plenty. We turn in about 10:30. I'm tired but feeling good. My left heel, outside, has developed since we left home a sharp pain. Feels like it's in the bone.

It sounds like Bob and Anita were smart enough not to take the red eye flight from Los Angeles, so had a good night's sleep before boarding their plane in Los Angeles.

When I hear Mom talking about taking pictures, it breaks my heart. Frank threw away thousand of photos that Mom took during their 20 years together when he remarried and moved from Simi Valley. I would have loved to see the photos of her cousin Bucky and his wife and also of their trip to Florida and the Caribbean. Sigh....

Ernest Hemingway's House

Friday April 3, 1992

Another wonderful night's rest. Awoke with my legs a little sore, especially my knees, probably from climbing in and out of the van yesterday. At 10 a.m. Bucky and Iny drive us to the Key deer reserve on Big Pine Key about 15 minutes from their home. We saw quite a few deer. They are very small, about the size of Daisy, our dog. We stopped at Blue Hole, a lagoon where there are alligators. We saw three alligators.

Frank and I drove to Key West where we toured Hemmingway's house. There were 51 cats laying around of all colors. We had lunch at Sloppy Joe's where Hemmingway used to hang out. We toured the hand-printed fabric factory and Mel Fisher Museum of treasures from sunken ships.

We returned for a great shrimp dinner at Bucky's. They had caught the shrimp in the gulf near here.

Wow, this is a busy day for them. Tiny deer, alligators, and cats! From the pictures I saw on-line of Hemingway's house it looks beautiful, but not sure I would like the idea of tip-toeing around 51 cats. Sounds like they have taken over the place!

Key West

Thursday April 2, 1992

Slept wonderfully well with the door closed, fan on low and a sheet and blanket over us. I did alot of sweating while getting ready but no more than at home. The day temp is 70 degrees and 60 at night. Very comfortable for me who cannot tolerate heat and humidity. By 10 a.m. we're all on our way to Key West In Bucky's Astro van. He and Iny do a wonderful job of showing us all of Key West. It's a wonderful place, alot like Hawaii.

We have a great dolphin sandwich with conch fritters and squid rings as appetizers. We saw Hemmingway's house and Tennessee Williams' home. For dinner we had Cuban food. The only thing familiar was the pork roast. Fried bananas (Petina), yellow rice, black beans, yucca (like potatoes) and Cuban tamales.

We walked on the beach, took a walk through a natural park, and finally arrived home at 10 p.m., feeling good. My cold is just a cough now. No more sore throat.

Sounds like Mom and Frank are not suffering from jet lag at all, and had a great day exploring Key West. For the first time in 20 years, Ric and I visited Hawaii last year and I had the worst jet lag after coming home, flying from west to east. The opposite direction was no problem, but losing 3 hours on the flight home seemed to make it worse when back in California. What a wonderful host Mom's cousin Bucky was, and what an adventure to explore the local cuisine!

The Florida Keys

Wednesday April 1, 1992

Landed in Miami 6:30 a.m. very tired. Slept very little sitting up on the plane. Four-hour flight, maybe slept one hour. We pick up our rental car and have breakfast at Denny's. The car has a broken tail light so we go back to get another car. The 3-hour drive south through the Florida Keys is very pleasant but I cannot stay awake. I sleep off and on all the way. About 10:30 Frank finally pulls off to nap a bit. We both sleep soundly. We arrive at Bucky and Inys after lunch at 1 p.m. Their home is lovely. They have a canal at the back of their home where their boat is docked. They have 3 bedrooms upstairs. We sleep downstairs in a bedroom with bath, TV, phone. Nice.

We have a fabulous lobster tail dinner, 7 of them--huge! They catch them near here. We go to bed early.

My cold is pretty good except sore throat.

Wow, only 4 hours from Los Angeles to Miami? That's a quick flight. As I suspected yesterday, Mom and Frank were not able to sleep on the plane. One thing she was always able to do though, was sleep in the car. I can remember so many times I would be in the back seat, and Mom was a passenger in the front seat with Frank driving. She would be talking away, when suddenly it would get quiet. I would look over the top of the seat and she was sleeping. Still, I am surprised that they were able to sleep soundly in the car (on the side of the road?) to take a nap. Otherwise, I'm sure they would not have been good company when they arrived at her cousin Bucky's. That lobster dinner sounds fabulous. It sounds like a beautiful place to live. That is one place I would like to visit before I die, but it would have to be in the winter. The furthest south I have been on the east coast was Virginia, and it was stifling hot there in July. Florida would be much worse with the humidity and heat.

We Leave For Our Trip

Tuesday March 31, 1992

We're up and off to Kaiser for my chemo appointment at 10:30 a.m. I don't think they'll give it to me because my white blood count is so low. I Ask Dr. Swartz to give me a thyroid blood test. That could be causing my heating up. I'm right, 2.5 blood count is too low for chemo. I'm glad. I think I'll enjoy our trip more. I'm feeling alot better from my cold and flu.

We go right home and begin to pack for our trip. It takes most of the day. Gary calls and we meet him at his new house in Simi for a walk-through. He'll move in in a week or so. From there we leave for our trip to catch the fly-away bus in Van Nuys. We stop to see Marty and Kathy for an hour. Our plane is late taking off because they had to change planes at the last minute.

Wow, I wonder how her body managed to beat back a cold with such a low white blood cell count? Glad she's feeling better for her trip, but taking the "red eye" flight is only going to weaken her immune system. If she's anything like me, she won't be able to sleep on the plane.

Feeling Pretty Good

Monday March 30, 1992

Awake at 7:20 feeling pretty good. No ache all over. Little cough and running nose. Tired and hard to get going but manage to ge to my nail appointment at 10:45. Afterward I have a chili dog, bank, and shop an hour or so. Arrive home at 2 p.m. still feeling pretty good.

I feel so good I think I will square dance tonight but after dinner I realize I'm done for the day. We stay home.

Packing For Our Trip

Sunday March 29, 1992

Up at 8:30, fix us some french toast, but then go back to bed, very tired for another hour or so.

By noon I'm feeling pretty good. Manage to keep busy all day getting clothes ready for our trip.

We have a nice pot roast dinner, watch TV and bed at 11:15.

The Sweating Is Getting Worse

Saturday March 28, 1992

Frank leaves at 7:15 to pick up his folks to take them to Cal Mesa to meet with the family regarding Uncle Ricky's funeral. I'm still too sick to travel all day. I sleep and relax in bed until 11 a.m. I am slow all day but do manage to get the bills paid. I spend much of the day on the couch. Frank is home about 4:30. We order in pizza.

The heavy sweating continues. I hate it! I have found that after my shower if I lay down the sweating subsides, but when I sit back up it begins again. My hair stays so wet I can't work with it. Maybe it is my thyroid. It's definitely getting worse.

Frank takes the bulletin board to our square dance and then returns home.

I guess a blow dryer would definitely be out of the question!

Now I'm Sick From the Codeine

Friday March 27, 1992

Awake at 4:15 a.m. aching all over. Unable to get back to sleep I take 2 Tylenol. Fifteen minutes later still awake, I decide to take a teaspoon of cough medicine with codeine. I rest with less pain but not deep sleep. At 6:45 I get up, dress and go downstairs. I am light-headed so eat some oatmeal and orange juice. Now I'm nauseous too. I remain too sick to get off the couch until noon. I am sick from the codeine. I forgot codeine makes me very ill. I manage to eat a good lunch but remain weak and light-headed.

At 3 p.m. Frank gives me a perm though I still feel awful. About 5 p.m. I feel well enough to sit and pay the bills.

God answered my prayer. My cold is gone when I wake up. The cough lingers.

Mom calls to say Frank's Uncle Ricky died this morning at 3:30. I'm so sorry.

I just hate that feeling of being sick and exhausted, and just when I need sleep the most, it eludes me, usually because of a nagging cough. Too bad the codeine made Mom feel even worse. Smelling perm solution for an hour or so while fighting off nausea sounds like a losing battle. Why did she decide to do it today?

I Now Have a Cold

Thursday March 26, 1992

I slept well last night thanks to a codeine/Tylenol tablet. Upon waking I believe my body aches have subsided but I still have chest pain and cough. I'm weak and when I take my shower I get so hot and sweaty it takes 45 minutes to cool down enough to put make-up on. The sweat just streams from my hair and face.

At 2:00 I see a doctor in Simi clinic. She orders a chest X-ray, blood test and 2 EKGs one hour apart. She says I'm OK, but my blood (white cells) count is down to 2.5 when 5-10 is normal. She gives me codeine cough medicine and antibiotics as preventative. About 7 p.m. my nose starts to run like a faucet. I now have a cold! I pray for a healing so I can get ready for our trip on Tuesday.

Uncle Ricky isn't doing very well. I pray for his recovery if that be God's will.

Oh no, I imagine it's going to be hard for her body to fight off a cold when her white cell count is so low. I did a little research on the subject, and it turns out that chemotherapy is one of the causes of low white cell count, as is cancer, and as are viral infections. She's dealing with all of these at once. I hope Mom will just take a rest from her busy life.

Sweating for 45 minutes after a shower doesn't sounds normal. After all that sweating she probably wanted to take another shower. It doesn't appear to be a symptom of either cancer or chemotherapy, but could have been a menopausal symptom caused by her hysterectomy.

We Drive Home 10 Hours on Highway 101

Wednesday March 25, 1992

I wake not feeling really great. Frank and I eat breakfast in the trailer and lightly clean up. I ache all over. Still coughing. By 8 a.m. we have said our good-byes to Chris, Justin and Ric. Chris doesn't want us to leave but we must go home to get ready for our cruise trip next week.

We drive home 10 hours on Highway 101 the coast. It's really lovely, green and flowers, but I'm feeling too ill to enjoy it. I sleep most of the way home. Poor Frank. I'm not much company. When we finally get home all I want to do is eat a little dinner and go to bed.

Ric was a poor host as usual. No coffee or food offered, but he did offer to make us 2 great tapes of music. Chris was a poor hostess, but loved having us there. She's still feeling tired and poorly.

Highway 101 down the California coast is the more scenic alternative to Interstate 5 down the central valley of California. Highway 101 rarely has ocean views until you get to Santa Barbara in Southern California, but does go through small towns and is prettier than I-5 which is straight, flat, and boring. It only takes 8 hours to get to Simi Valley on I-5 though, vs. 10 hours in Highway 101. That's a long tiring drive to pull a fifth wheel trailer. Frank must have been exhausted. It sounds like Mom's cough was taking a toll on her.

I'm certain I was not a good hostess and I'm surprised I even agreed to their visit, after just having my appendix removed a few weeks earlier, and having such horrible nausea still from my pregnancy. I was one of the rare percentage of women who suffers from nausea the whole 9 months. I was even throwing up on the delivery table! Talk about not being good company!

Shopping for Maternity Clothes

Tuesday March 24, 1992

We believe Ric's mom is still in the condo so we eat our breakfast and shower in our trailer. Later we find out Ric's mom Carmen left at 6 a.m.

We go shopping at K-Mart and I buy Chris 2 maternity tops and one matching pants. That's her birthday gift as her birthday is April 9 while we're cruising.

I'm coughing today. Just a cough.

Frank and I drive Justin to his baseball practice in Windsor. He thinks we're great to stay and watch. We visit with John a bit. He's really glad to see us. He's retired now from Pacific Bell and planning to go into business for himself.

Frank and I buy food for dinner and fix it. A bit strange. Chris' friends stop by to meet us and check on Chris. They're nice.

As I said on yesterday's post, Carmen was and still is an early riser. She goes to bed early and is up and out the door to beat rush hour traffic through Marin County as she works at Kaiser in San Rafael.

That was nice of Mom and Frank to watch Justin's baseball practice. John, my ex, did indeed retire early from the phone company and had his own landscaping company for awhile. Now he sells trucks at a commercial dealership in Healdsburg.

Not sure why Mom and Frank prepared dinner or whether it was for all of us or not. What I do know is that at 5-1/2 months pregnant I was still suffering from severe nausea and just the sight of food would make me puke. I mostly got by on soda crackers and 7-Up during my pregnancy. I guess that's why I hadn't bothered to buy maternity clothes. I just didn't feel well enough to leave the house! Besides, I didn't need many clothes to lie in bed. I can't believe we actually shopped at K-Mart! How I detest that store! I cannot believe they are still in business with discount megastores like Walmart and Target attracting their customers.

The New House Under Construction

Monday March 23, 1992

It was very painful getting out of bed to visit the bathroom during the night, but I slept very well from 10:30 p.m. to 7 a.m. I awoke in much less pain. So much better I didn't even think to take any pain relievers (Tylenol) all day. We hung out in the trailer in front of Chris' condo til 9 a.m. then went in to clean up. We relaxed until 3 p.m. when we all went to pick up Justin from school.

Ric then drove us to see the new house in Windsor under construction. It's very nice and what a beautiful view of trees, meadows and streams from the rear of the house.

Chris is feeling much better, looks good, and is quite large at 5-1/2 months pregnant. We eat lasagna at home. Frank is a "great" grandpa spending quality time with Justin and fixing his bike, etc. Ric's mom comes for dinner and stays all night.

Ric and I lived in my condo in Santa Rosa for 3 months while we refinanced it to pull money out for a down payment on our new house being built in Windsor. Most of our furniture went into storage during the 3 months while we lived in our temporary lodging. The house on Wellington in Windsor is pictured above and is taken right about this time, a little less than 2 months before we moved in. The beautiful view of open fields and huge oak trees behind the house is what attracted us to the house, as well as being a little larger than the house we had previously lived in for a little over a year. This house was also on Wellington, 1/2 block down the street.

Ric's Mom Carmen worked and lived in San Rafael, about 50 miles south of Windsor. She was an early riser, so when she would come to visit, she would usually spend the night on the couch and then leave early the next morning before rush hour to make the drive to her job as a nurse's aid at Kaiser Hospital in San Rafael.

Ye of Little Faith

Sunday March 22, 1992

Up at 8 a.m. feeling mighty stiff and sore. My right knee really hurts and my hips too. But at 10 a.m. we are dancing with our club caller Dick Hodenfeld. Many of our club members had left for home. I felt like they were all running like scared rabbits because someone said there were wind advisories on the ridge route. "Ye of little faith." God would get them home safely if they had faith and asked Him. The dancing was schedule to 4 p.m. After one hour of dancing I could barely walk. My left knee is really wrecked. Maybe from wearing tennis shoes to dance to protect my feet.

By 12:30 we are on our way to Chris' in Santa Rosa, expecting rain and wind all the way. No wind, one hour of rain, we arrive tired at 9 p.m. My joints are so sore especially my thumbs. I can hardly walk.

Mom was generally a wise woman, but on this day it sounds like she could have used a big dose of common sense. The fact that some of the members of her club left early to get over Tejon Pass on Interstate 5 before the wind got too strong or possibly even caused a shutdown of the highway for tow vehicles, seems to me like a wise move. It's hard enough to tow an RV, without having to do it in the wind.

Also, she says that when she woke up at 8 a.m. her knee really hurts, and yet she was out dancing at 10 a.m. Why did she not listen to her body? Rest and ice were what was necessary. Instead, after one hour of dancing she could barely walk. At 8 a.m. it was her right knee bothering her and at 10 a.m. her left knee was wrecked. I supposed she was favoring her right knee and injured her left one. I'm not sure why her thumb would be hurting, unless she jammed it during the square dance maneuvers.

Potluck

Saturday March 21, 1992

Slept much better last night til 8 a.m. By 10 a.m. I have joined everyone outside at the picnic tables. That's always fun. I did alot of perspiring after my shower. Seemed like 1/2 hour cool down. We all walked and shopped some more, had leisurely lunch and by 2:30 we were dancing Plus level. We had great fun dancing with experienced dancers. At 4:30 we were getting ready for the potluck dinner. Harold brought a birthday cake for Joan. Our 5:30 potluck was great! No rain! Thank you God! Good food!

Back dancing by 8 p.m. til 10 p.m. Then to Harold's trailer for after-party birthday cake.

I wonder if Mom is talking about Joan Larson, our neighbor across the street from the Lemona house where I grew up, and her husband Hal. I suppose Hal could be short for Harold, but I did not know that they went square dancing. Joan Larson is the friend who found out March 12, 9 days earlier, that her cancer had returned.

Sounds like Mom better bring a fan next time they go camping in their fifth wheel!

More RVs Arrive

Friday March 20, 1992

Awake at 7 a.m. aching and sore from laying in bed too long. Have breakfast and get showered in the trailer. Lots of perspiring after the shower. By 10 a.m. we were off walking and shopping. The rest of our group of 17 RVs began arriving at noon and by 6 p.m. they were all here. At 4 p.m. a group of 17 of us took off in the rain for dinner at a Basque restaurant. It was good food and great fun. When we returned we dressed and were square dancing by 8 p.m. By 10 p.m. my feet were aching and I was tired, but so were Frank and others so we called it a great night and headed into our RVs where we relaxed and watched some TV.

Wow, 17 RVs! That is a big group. The modern version of a circle of covered pioneer wagons, but so much more luxurious.

Bakersfield Square Dance Fiesta

Thursday March 19, 1992

We're up and packed and ready to leave at 11 a.m. for our trailer trip to Bakersfield Square Dance Fiesta. We meet Robbie and Dolores for lunch at Bob's on Sepulveda where we pig out on fried chicken dinner. The trip is fine, 2-1/2 hours even though our speed dropped to 30 mph at times coming over the ridge route.

The Fiesta is held at the fairgrounds. We find a great camping area for our group. We rope off a large area for our group of 16 RVs. It should be great fun once everyone arrives by tomorrow night. We have 6 large tables for our Saturday night potluck. By 10 p.m. there are 4 RVs. We all go for a walk after our BBQ steak dinner outside.

We go to bed and watch TV about 10:30. It begins to rain at 4 a.m.

How well I remember the Bob's Big Boy Restaurant on Sepulveda Blvd in Mission Hills. It was my first experience with dining out. When my brother and I were very small we would go to the drive-in where we would all roll down our window to give our order to the waitress. My parents always had a Big Boy hamburger, my brother and I had a grilled cheese sandwich with fries and a cherry coke. The waitress brought each of us a tray that hooked onto the window opening. When my brother and I were much older we finally got to go inside the restaurant. What a treat! I remember the large green vinyl booth seating next to the counter where the cooks prepared the food. I remember how we each got a Big Boy comic book which we read cover to cover and then worked on the puzzles at the back. Finally, we colored the picture in the comic book with the box of crayons we were given by the waitress. It was a rare treat for us to go to a restaurant. Later when I was in high school, the Bob's Big Boy Restaurant in Panorama City on Van Nuys Blvd was our teen hangout after the football games.

The Bakersfield Fiesta still goes on every March at the Kern County Fairgrounds. For Mom and Frank, their square dancing club was about much more than dancing, although they did enjoy that. It was also a social club and a camping club. Several members had RVs and they would get together several times every year to camp together. 16 RVs is a big group!

The "ridge route" Mom refers to is the common nickname for Interstate 5 that connects Southern California with Northern California. Near Gormon is the Tejon Pass, which sometimes gets snow and wind. North of Gorman is a steep descent to the small town of Grapevine, basically a truck stop, and a few miles north, Highway 99 intersects Interstate 5 and heads for 30 miles towards Bakersfield.

Chemo #10

Wednesday March 18, 1992

Frank leaves at 7:30 to have breakfast in the valley with Robbie. I arise at 7:20 feeling pretty good. I always look like an "old lady" when I first get out of bed. I'm bent over and can hardly walk. Luckily, I look normal after 20-30 steps. I really hate for Frank to see this and usually wait til he is up and in the bathroom before I arise. It feels like I'm closing him out more and more. I can't bear him to see me deteriorating and getting fat. So I don't let him. He tries to understand but I think it hurts his feelings to be shut out.

I drive myself to get my chemo today for the first time. Frank has a meeting in L.A. this afternoon. Chemo injectino goes well and I go shopping. Once home we both hurry to get ready for a trip packing the trailer.

I can so relate to Mom's description of what she looks like getting out of bed. I look exactly the same. The only thing I can say is that it's worse the morningw after I don't get my 60 minutes of exercise in. My back is sore, I can't stand up straight and I shuffle to the bathroom like an old lady. At this point in her journal Mom is 57 years old and I am 58, so alot of her descriptions of aches and pains mimic my own, and they have nothing to do with the cancer.

Our Simi Valley Tenant Gives Notice

Tuesday March 17, 1992

Frank leaves after breakfast to walk to his carving class which is 2-1/3 miles away. I feel more energetic today and change all the linens and do the wash. Later in the afternoon we go shopping. I buy some shoes for the cruise.

I get a call from our Simi Valley tenant. They are moving on April 1-6th. Not good news. We don't need a vacancy just now. Of course, there's never a good time. We'll be gone when they move so won't really know when they actually move out. We'll need to do alot of repair and cleaning. The hall ceiling must be repaired and who knows what else.

So besides being diligent about getting his walk in every day, Frank also has a hobby, which is carving and making things out of wood. Having friends, getting exercise, and having a hobby are all things that increase longevity. Frank is good at all of those.

I agree with Mom that there is never a good time for a vacancy in a rental house. We have a tenant who has given notice they are moving out this month after only staying 18 months. At the same time we are dealing with two evictions, including one that has to move this week in Sacramento. That house will require lots of work. It is one of the six houses we manage for Ric's mother. It's hard to work on a house when it is 100 miles away. It also makes it difficult to take vacations, especially longer than a week. Mom and Frank will be on a cruise when this tenant moves. I know the Simi Valley rental house was on Marvel, and although I only saw it once, I believe it was similar to the one pictured above.

Frank Is So Good!

Monday March 16, 1992

I wake up tired after 8 hours of sleep. I have a hard time getting going. Frank is so good! He takes his 4 mile walk then picks up the trailer. Though still tired, I manage to get dressed and go to square dancing. I dance most of the dances, but do sit out a couple.

I have never square danced but I imagine it is pretty good exercise. The problem is that it does not keep the heart rate up for a continuous period of 30-60 minutes. I imagine there are breaks between the songs every 5 or 10 minutes. I think the reason Frank is so energetic is because of the 4-mile walks he takes every day. As I write this I have just come home from a 3-mile hike, which I take every day that I am not taking my water aerobics class. I try to get 60 minutes of good cardio exercise every day. This is my longevity program, as well as my plan to stay healthy and get some fresh air. I have a treadmill, but I rarely use it. I would much rather get out in the fresh air and sunshine. Sometimes my husband comes along but he insists on taking our two dogs, which means we have to stop at every bush and rock. What is normally a one-hour hike becomes a two-hour hike with the dogs, and my heart rate never does get elevated when I stop every few feet for them. My Great-Grandmother Johnson walked 2 miles every day of her life until she was 100 years old. I don't know if God will bless me with 100 years, but at least I hope to enjoy good health for the ones he does give me. Walking is great exercise and something most of us can do well into our senior years. I know for sure Frank is still walking at 76 years old, and square dancing too. He is so good!

We Enjoy Being With Gene & Cathy

Sunday March 15, 1992

We're up and out by 10:30 on our way to Pasadena where we'll meet Gene and Cathy at the Doubletree Hotel for a travel show. We spend a couple of hours there, then go to lunch in "Old Town." We enjoy being with Gene and Cathy. We always have alot to talk about. After lunch we go to see Perry and Cathy and their new home addition. It's huge and lovely. It's not finished but soon.

We get home in time to eat dinner (pizza), get dressed, and go to Larry's square dance in Northridge with friends. Great fun! Then Bakers Square.

Mom's brother Gene Thomas was 6 years older than Mom, and they had different fathers, but in spite of the age difference, they were very close. Both Gene and his wife Cathy were attendants at my parents' wedding, and continued to be good friends with my dad after my parents divorce. They are good people, well into their 80s now, with lots of friends, and lots of great stories to tell of their world travels. The photo above was taken approximately 1950 around the time they were married.

It seems that no how matter how busy their days are, they are almost never too tired to go square dancing in the evening. Northridge is a 20-mile drive from Simi Valley where they lived, and Pasadena is almost 50 miles from Simi Valley. Both Mom and Frank seemed to have boundless energy.

A Visit With Paul & Judy

Saturday March 14, 1992

Up and out early for Palmdale to visit Paul & Judy. They are expecting us and serve us lunch. Tayler is cranky until we take her in their new car to Costco. In the car and in the shopping cart she is an angel. She's also at the age she doesn't want anyone to touch her except Judy.

Frank helps Paul work the dirt in the backyard and takes him in the truck to the lumber yard.

Later we stop to see Debby and Joey. Sara is out with friends and Phil's at work.

We get home in time to eat pizza and dress for the Happy Squares dance. It's too crowded so we come back home to watch TV. We were too tired anyway.

In the above photo, Frank's youngest son Paul is shown with his wife Judy and two children approximately 8 years after this post. It looks like Tayler is around 9 years old and her younger brother Nick around 7. Sadly, Paul and Judy got divorced as did Frank's older son Phil and his wife Debby.